My family do, my mum goes out of her way to give dd2 who has CP the same opportunities as dd1; even if it means piggy backing her to the top of a hill so she can do the same as dd1.
Dh's family do not. And I feel in my heart it's because she's disabled. dd2 is only 3 but for the last 2 birthdays aunty and uncle haven't bothered to get her a present. This year dh phoned them and asked them if they would like to contribute to dd's special needs swing seat. They agreed then never bothered. PILs got her a little cheapy pressie which was fine, I always try and tell all relos that both my dd's have plenty and no need for big pressies.
Well today was dd1's birthday and I was bracing myself. Lo and behold, huge pile of expensive pressies from PIL. And some really nice stuff from Aunty and Uncle too. I actually sent a message last week to aunty and uncle saying, 'if you're thinking of getting dd1 something for her birthday she might like xxxx sort of thing and if you do, you might like to get something for dd2 as she missed out on her birthday'. So having got that message they still decided to ignore it and treat my two very important girls differently.
When they come to visit they enjoy running around the garden with dd1 who can run but aren't bothered about dd2 who can't. . I am 36 weeks pregnant, feeling very vulnerable and emotional and spent the afternoon sobbing as I really feel so upset that they don't treat my dd's equally. I know they are not the same, a physical disability is hard to miss but I guess they just don't love dd2 as much as dd1.
Dh won't grow so balls and tackle them, but says it makes him feel sad too. My mum says it's nothing to do with dd2's cerebral palsy and just because dd1 was the first grandchild . I don't care, I manage to treat my girls as equally as possible and they should too.
I guess the proof will be when this next baby arrives, here's hoping she's 'perfect' then she might get loved and accepted in the way my beautifully unperfect dd2 never has been.
God, I feel so crap tonight. Just love my girls so so much.
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Do your family treat your children equally, regardless of their SN? (sorry, long).
12 replies
Hangingbellyofbabylon · 16/08/2009 20:49
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