Please come and share in my anger

[Frasersmum123]

I am really angry and pissed off, I have made an idiot of myself and I feel like crying.

I took DS (ASD and 2.5) to our HV today as we are having to keep a check on his weight as he isnt eating. Its an open clinic and basically you have to wait in the reception until she calls you, and sometimes there is no-one there, sometimes lots of people.

Today was really busy, DS was getting a bit anxious because he doesnt like lots of people, especially other children. He also has a new obsession with windows, and the door of the surgery in panelled. Basically he likes to look through the window one side and then go round theother side and look into it. He repeats this forever, but he doesnt do any harm to anyone.

For some reason this batty lady decided to wait right inside the door and she kept looking at DS and shaking her head. He really want doing any harm to anyone. She then said to me 'You should keep a closer eye on him, he is getting in the way' I replied that he wasnt hurting anyone and I was keeping an eye on him. 'Well he should be sitting down quietly, look at all the other children' she said. I was getting a bit annoyed at this point, so I said that he had Autism, and that he didnt like the crowd, plus he seems to like the doors. She then had the bloody audacity to say 'Oh for goodness sake, I can see a naughty child when I see one, and naughty children are caused by parents who make excuses for them'

I then lost my rag and told her to mind her own bloody business, she then turned to the receptionist, whos desk is right inside the door and said 'Are you going to let her speak to me like that',before muttering 'no respect' at me.

I said that I would wait outside until it was my turn, which luckily wasnt too long, but I was in tears when I finally got to see the HV, who was very supportive BTW. I know I should have handled it better, but I go to the surgery alot, DS always does the same thing and I have never had a problem. DH says I should move surgeries, and I would as our GP is shite, but our HV is fantastic and the way it works with areas she isnt attached to any of the other surgeries in our immediate area.

please help me feel a little better about myself

[Phoenix4725]

im suprised you lasted that long i would have exploded far sooner

[5inthebed]

at that other woman. How rude

I would have done the same BTW. I hate taking ds2 to the doctors, it is a nightmare. He stands by the automatic doors, trying to close them when they open. And you know yourself what it is lik trying to take them away from one of their obsessions.

Have a bottle glass of wine.

[debs40]

You poor thing! What a horrible old witch. I think you were very restrained so don't feel embarrassed. It is upsetting when someone is outright rude to your face for no reason.

You can keep your health visitor and move surgeries. I have done it. HVs are not too keen on it as they have enough on their plate with their own lists, but it is possible.

Speak to your HV about it.

[Frasersmum123]

Thanks everyone, and thanks Debs for the tip. I jut cant believe how upset I am, I do really care what people think of me, and I am really self concious, and although I know she was being a witch I feel like this is what I have to look forward to in the future

Like the alpha-mum at our school or told a mutual friend that she is glad DS wont be in the same school class as her DD because he is a screamer

[mysonben]

What an old ignoramuse!
I would have been livid too!
There are some people who simply cannot be nice, they don't know the meaning of the word.

[Shells]

Stupid old ignorant bat.

[siblingrivalry]

Oh, I am on your behalf. I think you handled it really well.
The ignorance of some many people never ceases to amaze and annoy me.

Have a virtual cuppa and huge piece of cake on me x

[Nyrrem]

What an evil old bag. I think that you handled it really well. I hate these situations they leave me quivering.

My neighbour went through all this 30 years ago. She used to carry leaflets and accost the huffing and tutting brigade. She claims she had a little speech which went along the lines "Have you heard of Aspergers Syndrome? Here educate yourself, I'll be right here if you have any questions." I've never had the courage to do it; but I believe she did, she is fabulously formidable.

[saintlydamemrsturnip]

God you poor thing. That's exactly the sort of thing my son would still do btw! (He's 10 now).

I just ignore them. I find the autism label tends to be disbelieved these days so I just growl 'he can't talk' at them which usually shuts people up.

[Woooozle100]

I think you were really restrained

How horrid. Here, have a nice drink

[logi]

i would have said i know a rude lady when i see one too...then jammed her fingers in the door lol. you should see the looks ive got when my son has had a bad day shopping (which is quite often) he lies across the aisles.people must think im mad because if ive had enough i end up laughing not because i think its funny but if i dont laugh i"ll cry.

[anonandlikeit]

Just challenge them to "cure" him in 24 hrs. If they are so sure its down to bad parenting let them try.

Trust me, nobody has taken me up on the offer yet!

Have a big glass of someting nice, give your ds a cuddle & f*ck the lot of them.

[thederkinsdame]

I think I would say that 'I know ignorance when I see it. perhaps you would like to find out something about it before you judge?'

[Phoenix4725]

oooo I am liking that thederkinsdame

[3cutedarlings]

goodness me what an horrid woman !! i to think you were very calm!! i would completely lost it.

hope your feeling better today FM

[asdx2]

You could phone and ask for a time to be seen so that there is no waiting for ds.

Our Dr's is a sit and wait surgery but I phone let them know I'll be coming with ds or dd and as I walk in I am seen straight away.

Yes there may be a few tuts not that I'm bothered but GP and I know that for her to stand a chance of getting near them they need to be as stress free as possible and so can't wait and encounter ignoramus's like you did.

The only person who questioned why I didn't have to wait (old woman) I told her I had VIP status and she should talk to the receptionist to see if she would qualify lol.

[PheasantPlucker]

You didn't handle it badly at all, the woman sounds nasty, and totally ignorant regarding ASD. Hope you are OK today.

[Webme1]

There is always a risk of coming across miserable, inconsiderate and ignorant people. I think happy people do not make unkind comments and other people's misery should not blight your life. Be glad that you are not them and enjoy your child.

Try to let it go and appreciate the nicer people you will meet. Fortunately, I find that the majority of people are understanding and kind and at the very least polite.

You do not need to justify yourself or your child to strangers. You are parenting as you see fit. If people do not understand what it means to be Autistic, the posting by Nyrrem 14-Aug-09 is a great idea. Carry some literature to hand out to the ignorant and maybe they will gain a better understanding and think twice before opening their mouths.