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Seems like ds is never going to speak - he will wont he?

(52 Posts)
JustcallmeDog Fri 14-Aug-09 13:50:13

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Phoenix4725 Fri 14-Aug-09 13:59:42

justcall medog

Have you tried signing at all?.Ds does not speak at all and beng able to sign his needs and wants has headed of so much frustration.

jasdox Fri 14-Aug-09 14:20:06

my LO was only saying a few words at 2y9m (when i had ds2, 1 year on, he is speaking loads, proper little conversations, generally about cars. but you could tell his understanding was their.

HecatesTwopenceworth Fri 14-Aug-09 14:28:54

I don't want to say to you - oh yes, don't worry, he'll talk. But my eldest didn't talk for years, just sounds and screaches! then the odd word here and there, but didn't start really communicating until, what? 5? 6? years old. and not properly talking until the last few years (he's now 10). Even now he talks in a very odd way grin

ds2 is mainly echolalic to this day and barely talks at all. he vocalises his needs, makes lots of noises and repeats a lot of stuff off the tv! but he has never once had an actual conversation with anyone.

But it's progress. I felt the same as you when they were your son's age.

Frustration is good! actually, it's how we forced the first words out of ds1! By pretending that we didn't understand what he wanted. He threw our hands up in the direction of the cups, we passed him a (plastic!!!) plate.. see? We deliberately misunderstood him until he started to yell the word he needed to, to get his needs met. That was the beginning of him talking.

ds2 doesn't care, isn't frustrated, so there's no motivation for him. That's why his speech is much less developed than ds1.

So don't see frustration as a bad thing. USE it to your advantage!

There is help out there. We found the early years team to be fab! We had a home visiting teacher come several times a week. That really made a difference.

HecatesTwopenceworth Fri 14-Aug-09 14:30:51

oh, should have made that "ds2 is mainly echolalic to this day and barely talks at all. he vocalises his needs, makes lots of noises and repeats a lot of stuff off the tv! but he has never once had an actual conversation with anyone except ds1!"

you can hear them chattering away to each other. They really talk. You listen like hmm not really understanding what they're on about, but they clearly understand each other!!! grin

JustcallmeDog Fri 14-Aug-09 14:47:41

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bubblagirl Fri 14-Aug-09 14:50:22

sounds like my ds at that age used to lose speech a swell and id be in despair at 3.6 he just started talking i head i cant reach it and it was him lost speech again for few weeks then came back with again more understanding of words we haven't looked back since all im saying is i haven't the answers to your ds but sound show my ds was and there is hope

he is nearing peers level now except in speech sounds this makes him sound unintelligible at times says SALT but now his use of words and understanding of language is great he asks what, where, why , who, when all in the last few months his 4.3 soon to be 4.4 huge changes

we reckon because his such a perfectionist he didnt want to talk until he got it right we tried makaton but he really wasn't so interested did use some signs

we verbalised absolutely everything we did and he would just observe he still does he stands back observes and then at some point you see him do it he's an observer who is also a perfectionist

bubblagirl Fri 14-Aug-09 14:52:26

ds was all single words either g or k sounding for everything gog mummy is nunny daddy is gaggy but wouldnt even say our names would just lead us to what he wanted sometimes would say name but not very often it was all noises grunts etc then he just gained confidence with some words we learnt not to make a fuss if he sued a word as he would stop talking for weeks the more we paid no attention the more he would actually say

misscutandstick Fri 14-Aug-09 14:52:39

DS1 didnt really say anything much (just odd single words) until around 3yrs. Then his vocabulary grew but it was just utter junk, proper sounding syllables, so if you werent listening it would sound real.

I think he improved dramatically when going to nursery so that by 5 or 6 strangers could mostly tell what he was talking about.

Hes now almost 17yrs and his speech is mostly good, intonation good (but not always the correct one!) and very often uses words that arent quite right. The words will either sound similar or have a similar meaning but not quite in context ie competition instead of conversation, or gentle instead of soft. But on the whole its perfectly serviceable, and provides very adequate conversation.

bubblagirl Fri 14-Aug-09 14:54:10

used not sued lol we was like yey you said so and so well done and that would be it no more words he wouldnt say a thing for weeks so learnt not to say anything and noticed how much more he would say

HecatesTwopenceworth Fri 14-Aug-09 14:55:24

Oh yes. They are both at mainstream with full time 1:1 support. They manage fine.

ds1 used to be violent so the kids at his old school (in Herts) were scared of him. But he's not been violent for years, so the kids in this area don't know that side of him and he is very popular!

ds2 needs someone close by at all times because he's got zero sense of danger and doesn't much care if he's not supposed to go through the school gates grin

Academically, well, they do their best. They struggle because of the language. Even maths, which ds2 is brilliant at, requires a lot of language. So they struggle there. Not because they lack intelligence, but because they lack the understanding of language required, iyswim. Their lsas help as much as possible. tbh, I am not that bothered about the academic side of things. As long as they try their best, and are happy and have friends, that's all that matters to me.

When they were little, we were really put under pressure to use Makaton. We refused point blank. We also didn't make good use of PECS, although did use it at times, because we felt that all they wanted was to get their needs met and if we gave them an alternative way to do that, they'd never bother talking!!

misscutandstick Fri 14-Aug-09 14:56:07

DS5 is currently 3.3y and completely non-verbal, has little understanding, but uses maybe around 80 makaton signs. However it did take almost 18mths to get a first sign out of him - we were almost at the point of giving up! glad we didnt as hes been signing now for a few months and manages well with it. he still only signs in single words but he can tell us what he wants and whats upsetting him.

bubblagirl Fri 14-Aug-09 14:57:53

ds was also very frustrated with speech i remember one day at 3.6 when he did start talking he started losing some more speech sound sand this would upset him that he couldnt speak

at about 4 he came in crying and said i dont speak good have no idea what made him say this but i sobbed my heart out and so did he i then told him how great he was and to never say that gain his great

now he says i speak proper in his way {gocker} dont i nunny lol yes dear i say proper lol

the other day he said sorry nunny i wasn't concentrating i was scratching my nose lol this was a child that would not talk

and my fave words i thought id never hear i wug you nunny

misscutandstick Fri 14-Aug-09 14:58:02

We tried PECS, but he just didnt take to it at all and got very distressed at having to hand over pictures that he adored as much as the real thing... each to his own i guess.

bubblagirl Fri 14-Aug-09 14:59:41

ooh hecates we have another lad here who loves math your ds sounds very like mine sometimes

JustcallmeDog Fri 14-Aug-09 15:00:41

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bubblagirl Fri 14-Aug-09 15:01:40

i should say my ds sounds like yours sometimes his younger isnt he

JustcallmeDog Fri 14-Aug-09 15:02:23

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bubblagirl Fri 14-Aug-09 15:05:40

my ds had alot of help with speech sounds and gradually without help he has gained 2 speech sounds but it is very common like walking your wobbly until you've done it few times then you get more use dto it

it was explained the same with talking its getting the idea of talking and the more words are modelled back correctly then they too after time will talk correctly or as near as

ds you can work out what he is saying most understandable but took good 7 mths from talking to master and understand the sue of his language he tries so hard and that was pointed out from young age he will because you can see the effort his making to do so even now he really tries so hard to use correct sound he will get there

HecatesTwopenceworth Fri 14-Aug-09 15:11:58

PECS is picture exchange communication system.

Does what it says on the tin really grin

You have pictures, they give them to you.

say he wants a drink, he'll give you his picture of a drink and you'll give him a drink.

That's why I don't like it. It removes the need for him to say drink. Mine wouldn't have bothered talking ever if they hadn't been forced to, in order to make their needs clear!

bubba - which one? ds1 is 10 ds2 is 8

bubblagirl Fri 14-Aug-09 15:12:24

i always have to say it first started off sounding similar to how your ds says it and moved to wug you when words were forming more still wug you as cant do l sound but to me love you wouldn't be the same lol i love it

ds is now 4.3 and still needs to be reminded to say hello and goodbye and is just starting unprompted to say please and thank you

bubblagirl Fri 14-Aug-09 15:13:20

your 8 yr old ds i see alot of my ds in him in some of what you say

bubblagirl Fri 14-Aug-09 15:14:20

the behaviours that is but i guess all children in one way or another are quite similar your boys both sound great

HecatesTwopenceworth Fri 14-Aug-09 15:21:40

I think they are. grin They are totally bonkers of course wink but that's what makes them so fascinating.

If your ds is anything like my ds2, you certainly have your work cut out for you!!! Ds2 is so very challenging. He's extremely bright, but doesn't care what you want or what you think or how you feel, has no sense of danger or of consequences, is so affectionate when he feels like it! He's stroppy and shouty! He cries at tom & jerry when tom gets hurt...

ds1 has become so even. He's not a person of extremes like ds2. They are so different. And both fab, naturally! grin

I had a peek at your profile to see how old your son is. Mine were a LOT more hard work at that age than they are now - so there's hope grin

bubblagirl Fri 14-Aug-09 15:36:56

lol my ds is 4.3 behaviourally since lovely melatonin has come along ds is so much better than he was it was really tough

his very bright and i do struggle sometimes keeping him fulfilled mentally apart from that in general if his sleep has been good he is great if no sleep completely different child and im at a loss with what to do for him

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