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Had to call the police today.

(13 Posts)
staryeyed Wed 12-Aug-09 19:17:22

Ds 4 ASD escaped again. I told him he couldn't play in the garden becasue its raining (not that he understands). I had the home start lady here at the time. I was just talking to her about Ds difficulties and I realised it was a bit quiet. He had run out fo the side door that I had forgotten to lock when the sure start lady came. I ran down the road asking the shop keepers if they had seen him- they hadnt so I called the police. They were very good and came very quickly. I was out of my mind with worry. Ds doesnt talk or answer to his name. Then the policeman said they had found him quite some distance away near our local park. He was absolutely distraught and wet and he had fallen over at some point becasue there is a graze on his ankle and hand. He was distressed at being picked up by the policeman as he had no idea who or what they are and he was quite shaken for some time after. Ive no idea what happened becasue I didnt ge tthe full story- Im not sure if he stopped on his way because he didnt know where he was going or if someone found him (there were a group of young lads nearby). One of the policeman was a bit condescending and asked why Ds was out of sight and why I hadnt locked the door. I said that I had forgot and that I cant watch DS 24 hours a day becasue I also have baby. I felt like I was being so judged as if I had left him on his own outside a shop or something. I feel like shit.

troutpout Wed 12-Aug-09 19:23:13

ooh Staryeyed i can imagine how shaky that made you feel. sad
So glad you found him and he hadn't hurt himself or anything.
Don't beat yourself up about it...we are only human

feelingbetter Wed 12-Aug-09 19:27:01

You must have been terrified.

Hopefully he will be over it very soon.

I doubt you will be sad, so be kind to yourself. Nobody can be everywhere doing everything all the time.

He is home, safe and well, that's all that matters now.

HecatesTwopenceworth Wed 12-Aug-09 19:27:55

Don't feel bad. It happens.

If it makes you feel better, ds1 has escaped twice! shock

I was changing ds2 (also autistic, didn't come out of nappies until 5) and I realised ds1 was gone. Looked everywhere and was really panicking, when dh pulled up (he had been out) I rushed to him, totally hysterical, and ds1 was in the car!!! dh had seen him walking down the street and screeched to a halt in the middle of the street!

Second time, I saw him outside the gate! I got him and about half an hour later the police came and said they'd been called by the people at the shop! Ds1 had gone in there, then come back home shock

The thing is - Our house was fort knox! Windows locked, external doors locked, locks on kitchen and bathroom doors... me and dh jangled like a pair of jailers!

We saw him a third time, he pulled the chair up to the window sill and tried to climb out of the tiny top window - not locked because we stupidly thought they couldn't get through it!

But even so, outside was a 5ft wall and a double gate locked with chain and padlock!!

So those times he had escaped - he had climbed out of a tiny top window, and scaled a 5ft wall!

It is hard to watch 2! Both of mine have autism and you can be having to deal with something with one of them and the other will take the opportunity!

We had locks on everything, a wall, padlocked gate and everything and he STILL got out!

I too felt like shit. But you have to move on. See if there's a lesson you can learn - in my case it was lock the top window too! But don't beat yourself up.

cornsillk Wed 12-Aug-09 19:28:57

Poor you - that must have been so scary.

cyberseraphim Wed 12-Aug-09 19:29:04

Glad you got him back - It's awful that the policeman seemed judgemental but probably the questions were standard and maybe he doesn't understand that an NT 4 year old would not do that - or at least would be able to self navigate/talk himself home. Definitely cannot watch them 24/7 so don't worry abut that.

PeachyLaPeche Wed 12-Aug-09 19:46:24

It's so scary, sorry it happenedto you Stary

FWIW there's a t shirt on ebay 9well tehre was Tuesday) that says something like 'if you see me running stop me'- I found it under the search for autism if that helps?

I imagine the policeman has no idea about the reality of a child with SN, don't let them upset you. It happens, full stop. DS3 had a massivce breakout last Whitsun at a play farm, so we knew but he still maanged to get separated from us Monday in the local Wacky place (snuck out toilet quickly as I aclled Dh for help with a highchair).

We can't lock our windows (rented house, not allowed to fit locks) and ds1 when really determined goes out the window, over the kitchen roof, down the outside and out through the garden (scaling a 6 foot dry stone wall).

Frasersmum123 Wed 12-Aug-09 19:49:14

Oh gosh - poor you, it must have been so scary. Dont feel bad, acctdents happen and we cant all be perfect 100% of the time - I bet the judgy-pants policeman doesnt have children himself.

ChopsTheDuck Wed 12-Aug-09 19:55:55

have some wine and chocolate and don't beat yourself up!

I've lost all of mine at various times, nt and sn! dd ran off from home, and locked me out once, dt2 jumped out of a window, ds1 (sn) legged it in an airport to 'go shopping' (with 10 cents), dt1 got lost at the motor show. You can't watch them all of the time.

ChopsTheDuck Wed 12-Aug-09 19:57:28

we actually have pendants for the kids when we are out, with name and phone number on. Would he wear one?

Phoenix4725 Wed 12-Aug-09 20:00:37

can imagine your was scared but dont le tone person attitude worry you he will ahave no clue what its like

PeachyLaPeche Wed 12-Aug-09 20:34:33

We use 2 types of detail tag- little circular discs with details on, laminated you atatch to the zip pull of the coat and those bracelet alerts things made of apper where you write the info inside.

We liked the discs best but he chewed them so looking at geting a badge (again from ebay) where the info is on the inside

We did aske ds3 today if he knew where he lived, he pointed at a random house we were driving past and started his mantra about having built all the hosues. Er, no then!

mysonben Wed 12-Aug-09 23:15:10

It must have been so scary for both you and your ds.
Glad they found him quickly.

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