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Having a bit of a bad day, now worrying about paeds assessment in two weeks

(15 Posts)
used2bthin Mon 03-Aug-09 14:02:14

My DD has delayed speech and language. She has been having SALT since she was 2 and is now 2.10.

During that time she has made great prgress but is still way way behind her peers.

I THINK that socially her development is not affected although obviously the lack of clear speech is a big issue.

At the last audiology appointment she was found to have glue ear but the audiologist thought this was not the only cause for her delays and wanted a paed assessment next appointment so that is what is happening in two weeks. What will they do? I wish I knew what the audiologist was getting at, DD has medical issues and is steroid dependant but it shouldnt affect her development other than she ha had a bit of a hard time of it.

sc13 Mon 03-Aug-09 14:35:04

I think an appt in two weeks is quite good, in that you won't have to wait for long.
Assessments are so different from area to area and from specialist to specialist, but I guess they'll ask you about things like joint attention, what she plays with, pretend play, how she is around other children. My DS also has a speech and language delay (as part of ASD), and they asked a lot about non-verbal communication - gestures, facial expressions, imitation of gestures.
Good luck!

used2bthin Mon 03-Aug-09 14:41:53

Thanks. Should have said, the last appointment was three months ago, I am just panicking before the event! Also worried they will pick holes in what she can do because the audiologist was not that pleasant about her not being able to do the toy test.

TotalChaos Mon 03-Aug-09 20:02:30

I imagine they will ask similar questions to what sc13 has described. they might also get her to do a jigsaw or similar activity. Be prepared to go through (yet again!) a load of background about your pg/your DD's birth and general development as well with the paed. It's horrible feeling your kid is being put under the microscope, I know when DS had these appointments, I would feel guilty about the stuff he got wrong (as if he would have known it if only I'ld practice it enough with him or something). But it is important sometimes that they focus on what a kid can't do, as that's the important gaps that need filling iyswim.

used2bthin Mon 03-Aug-09 20:28:44

Yes I'm sure you are right TotalChaos. I wantthem to give her help if she needs it. It is that guilt thing I think. Also that they seemed to fob me off with the idea that its all down to the amoun of medical stuff she's been through when if that was the case surely many more children would have speech and language issues and they should be offering DD support for her problems. I'm not really sure what I'd like the outcome to be to be honest (other than them saying here give her this pill she'll catch up by september grin )

I do worry that I haven't spent enough time doing stuff for DDs speech before I knew she had issues with it or I knew what to do.Or that me being so preoccupied with other stuff interupted her development . Motherhood is all about the guilt though!

StarlightMcKenzie Tue 04-Aug-09 02:35:00

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StarlightMcKenzie Tue 04-Aug-09 02:36:30

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cyberseraphim Tue 04-Aug-09 11:04:41

I know it's hard not to worry but the Paed won't give the 'final judgement' on your DD's development but should give some more advice/information on why there is a delay and what can be done about it. You shouldn't waste time feeling guilty as I don't think it is possible to 'stop' a child (who is going to speak) speaking - unless it's something extreme like locking in a cellar. I know that only gets us back to the 'Well what is causing the delay?' and no one here can second guess the paed but you should focus on what you know are the positives - maybe make a list of them to show the paed ?

used2bthin Tue 04-Aug-09 13:06:50

Starlight your post is so true, I am torn about what I want out of this. I THINK that her play is the same as her peers though obviously its hard to assess your own child. This week (I realised the appointment is next weds shock )I am trying to be as on the ball with it all as possible and trying to put my professional hat on to work out whether I am worried or no. About her general development I mean, I know that her speech and language is delayed.

cyberseraphim thank you too, I know it isn't helpful to feel guilty, I swing between that and feeling angry because I feel that others might judge me and think its something I did or didn't do with her. Then I think that I've not done anything that differently to mos of my friends with children the same age and they are talking.

Yes what is causing it all is the million dollar question. The SALT has only said she thinks its a combinaton of factors including having had a lot of trauma medically but mainly extended periods of time when her hearing has been affected by the glue ear. The audiologist seemed quite resistant to the idea of it being just down to glue ear but then she only got half an hour with her, in a hospital environment.

This is just a moan but it does feel like I am damned if I do and damned if I don't because when DD was not two yet and I was asking about having her checked out as I had concerns about her speech it felt like everyone thought I was being OTT and a bit mad but now that she is nearly three suddenly there is a problem.

used2bthin Tue 04-Aug-09 14:09:08

Making alist of the positives i a good plan. I am glad we have cracked potty training last week because it shows some level of understanding. Her language has also progressed although if they were to listen to her they wouldnt understand a word.

cyberseraphim Tue 04-Aug-09 14:38:53

Definitely not delayed development then - DS2 (NT) is same age and not trained. It seems odd the audiologist was involved in that way - ours did nothing except test hearing.

used2bthin Tue 04-Aug-09 14:49:03

It was a community appointment. I think it was mainly that she felt DD could hear, she said she had a bit of an instinct about thses things and when dd failed the toy test she thought dd could hear but was unsure as to whether she had understood it. said think she did but couldnt hear clearly enough and also didnt want to do it. Then after the glue ear test she said she still felt there were other factors and that she would like a paediatrician to assess her ver all development at the next hearing test.

used2bthin Tue 04-Aug-09 14:50:37

Argh that should have read that I said I think she did

TotalChaos Tue 04-Aug-09 18:14:09

used2bthin - IME in this country it is sadly all too common for parental concerns at 2 to be fobbed off - 3 is the "shit hits the fan age" i.e. where the HVs/GPs etc can't just do the late talker/huge range of normal spiel to fob you off. great advice from starlight and cyber, which I pretty much agree with.

used2bthin Tue 04-Aug-09 20:12:16

Yes, thanks all, some great advice on here. I am very used to dealing with medical stuff but this feels very different.

So annoying about the two/three year thing. I was actually lucky (though partly because DD was already being seen by lots of people)that DD has been seen so readily. I actually think she is hearing quite well at the moment which could mean that the glue ear has gone. Which would be brilliant as long as it doesn't come back in the winter as it must have done last year. Whatever happens I'll ask for her hearing to be checked again in autumn/winter.

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