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Can we talk about boobies?

(11 Posts)
5inthebed Sat 01-Aug-09 08:03:15

Can't find the thread now, but some of you might remember me posting about DS2's obsession with my breasts (boobies as he calls them), and me wanting to curb his enthusiasm about them. Basically, he would just lie on them, get a cuddle and sniff. The general concensus (sp) that this was fine, so I should just let him get on with it, which I did as couldn't break the habit.

Now though, it has gotten quite bad and I am losing my patience with it all. He constantly blurts out "boobies!" and "mammy's boobies", and I mean constantly. It is slowly wearing me down. He is also pointing out everyone elses breasts when we are out, and being really inappropriate. Yesterday whilst visiting a very heavily pregnant friend, he kept trying to rest his head on hers blush. It is getting very hard to stop this behaviour, and while everyone else is finding it funny, I am not.

I feel as if he is just seeing the breasts, and not me iykwim. I'll say hello or good morning to him, and he'll say "hello mammy's boobies" without even acknowledging me. I feel like a tit, in every sense of the word!

Please help! And please, don't say it is quite funny, as I am practically crying by the end of the day with the continuity of it all.

higgle Sat 01-Aug-09 08:20:31

Think we need to know how old he is to form a view on this one!

bubblagirl Sat 01-Aug-09 08:40:49

sorry your feeling so low about this 5inthebed i know it sounds silly but you can buy booby cushions i know it may not be appropriate but maybe it can be confined to his room and only if he leaves yours and others alone if he can be good he can have his cushion and hope the obsession starts to dwindle

im not good with this but my friends brother was the same he is 12 now and still likes his cushion but the obsession for other peoples has lessoned if he can be good the reward is to lay with the cushion when he gets home

not sure if that will be of help as i know you want to get him away from this obsession but maybe it can be a start to move away from real live people and eventually getting rid of cushion

sorry i know on these subjects i can be useless just trying to think of ways my freinds mum dealt with it he still does have a thing for her boobs but is happier to have cushion now than her boobs but she hasnt succeeded in getting cushion gone for good it gets removed after 10 mins on timer and if good can have it again its all on chart has to be good on whats asked and then 10 mins of cushion time

bubblagirl Sat 01-Aug-09 08:43:10

something along these lines

bubblagirl Sat 01-Aug-09 08:44:02

maybe you could sew a top onto it or something make it more appropriate

r3dh3d Sat 01-Aug-09 09:27:41

I agree with bubbla. Well, possibly a less anatomical cushion grin, you can get similar ones which are just plain oval neck cushion things and I'm sure they come in pink. I think you will struggle to remove a comfort object. It's notoriously hard with NT kids. Better to substitute it for something else if you possibly can, which is more appropriate and easier to control access. I guess just every time he wants "boobies" try to redirect onto the cushion and then give another reward if he will settle for the cushion, gradually increasing the delay for the reward.

The other thing - is it possible (again, over time I guess) to rename them? Won't help you with the feeling-like-a-tit thing, but it must be a bit less embarrassing in public if he's pointing at women and saying "cushions" or even "teapots" than shrieking "Boobies!" at 50% of the population.

bubblagirl Sat 01-Aug-09 09:37:00

lol r3dh3d i have no real idea my friends mum uses booby cushion as thats what he wants and wasn't happy with anything else it prevented awful melt down but she's working on removing and replacing with more politically correct cushion for a child she did sew a top to it so wasn't so booby like but the thing was her son wanted boobies he had to have bobbies there was no other way around it unfortunately

but if he played up when out she would say you wont have your cushion and he would behave as this was his comfort

its hard when its not something like a dummy my ds comfort at4.2 he wouldnt be happy with anything else a dummy is a dummy my friends son was same with boobies ,

its finding a way to make it acceptable to enable you to work on removing the focus altogether

tiredmummyoftwo Sat 01-Aug-09 15:03:14

5inthebed, my DS used to put his hands inside my tops as soon as I picked him up or whenever he was with me. I just had to stop it as it was not something I could let him to continue. As soon as he did that I took his hands out without looking into his eyes, he cried for about a week, but I did not give in. It was his comfort thing, but I could not let it continue, so it stopped. DS did not talk at the time though, but he cried a lot. I did not give him any attention when the cry was for this only. In our case being firm and ignoring worked. I have learnt from his ABA therapist that you can actually change a lot of behaviour by being consistent. What she means is that once you decide that no you are not going to let him do it again, you do not not let him do it even for once. It will take few days to get them to listen and follow, but they do. I have seen that with my son over the last few months over and over, every time I thought he is not going to do it, he amazes me. I think trick is that you don't let them see that your getting upset over them crying.

asdx2 Sat 01-Aug-09 15:58:29

My son at five had the same interest sparked by a particularly well endowed year one teacher. No chance of him ever making eye contact with her lol as he couldn't take his eyes off them. She was far less embarrassed than I was though. Like all Jack's interests it ran its course and hasn't reared its head since.
It's going to be tough now that his interest has broadened onto other peoples too but somehow think that you are going to have to prevent him getting near yours and stop him from saying boobies. Perhaps encourage him to just look but no touching and no shouting out.
Maybe you could get a cuddly toy and call it booby so at least if you are out and about and he shouts you can thrust booby in his hand and at least the women he's shouting after will feel appeased.

5inthebed Sun 02-Aug-09 00:03:19

Sorry, he is 4 next week. It's not the touching that bothers me (yet), it's the constant verbalness he has of saying boobies. He says it all the time, whatever we are doing. It is really upsetting m. I think uying him a boobie pillow will just make thinks worse tbh. I did buy him one of those circle cushions and sewed a button on it (to act as a nipple), but it didn't phase him at all, he didn't bother with it.

How can I get him to stop saying/shouting/asking about a certain word. It is making me weep at night when he overstepsthe mark.

bubblagirl Sun 02-Aug-09 10:42:01

5inthebed i really dont know how to get him to stop saying it other than giving them a new name and trying to break the habit of saying boobies

my friends mum was at end of tether and as you know we will all try anything and sometimes don't always do what's conventional lol

i guess its a matter of training what do we call them and when ever he says other name correct him maybe do a marble reward jar every time he calls them by other name he gets a marble and when all marbles are collected he gets a treat

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