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Well, that was horrible

(26 Posts)
sarah293 Mon 20-Jul-09 12:13:47

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deepbreath Mon 20-Jul-09 12:50:42

I had a similar discussion earlier this year, but the circumstances were very different. My elderly father had end stage dementia and they told me they would not try to revive him if he collapsed. Although I understood why they said it, a part of me was screaming "you can't say that" sad

Like I said, mine was a very different situation but I didn't want to leave your post unanswered.

debs40 Mon 20-Jul-09 12:51:24

Riven, that sounds horrible. Are they providing support/advice for you too? I hope you're not sat alone trying to make sense of the information you have been given. Hope you're feeling as ok as you can be xx

siblingrivalry Mon 20-Jul-09 12:53:36

Oh,Riven , what a horrible thing to go through.I really can't imagine how you cope with things like that. Sending you a virtual hug and cuppa x

BriocheDoree Mon 20-Jul-09 12:55:55

Terrible. Suppressing shudder just reading it. Hope you're OK. Sending virtual slice of cake to go with SB's cuppa.

TotalChaos Mon 20-Jul-09 12:58:38

how gruelling sad. did you find it helpful at all being able to discuss the issues with experienced people?

sarah293 Mon 20-Jul-09 13:14:28

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TotalChaos Mon 20-Jul-09 13:23:48

I suppose it's case of them helping you manage to live with the 2 realities - the day to day prosaic grind, and also the fear due to your DD's health problems that you will lose her, I hope being able to discuss all these fears and get support with them will ultimately help you find more peace and enjoyment in day to day life.

jasdox Mon 20-Jul-09 13:58:13

Riven, it sounds absolutely horrific, sending you virtual hug, as cannot find the words. Hope she can help. x

lou031205 Mon 20-Jul-09 15:03:08

Riven, so sorry you even have to have a visit like that sadx

sarah293 Mon 20-Jul-09 15:05:29

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lou031205 Mon 20-Jul-09 15:17:54

Don't try and force yourself. If/when the time draws nearer, you will find it in yourself to face it. Now is a time to be aware that that time may come, but it isn't real, right now. Right now you have a 5 year old who loves stories & needs a lot of attention. That is what is real. Have an un-MN <<hug>>.

LottieDugalo Mon 20-Jul-09 15:20:48

I'm so sorry, we had to have an emergency protocol meeting about dd when she was smaller, it was absolutely harrowing, she is still for full recussitation and ventilating despite the fact the Drs "don't like" doing it, I couldn't have it any other way. I can't think about her dying, I fall apart every time I think about it and I couldn't function if I tried to deal with it right now x

sarah293 Mon 20-Jul-09 15:24:27

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lou031205 Mon 20-Jul-09 15:39:08

Oh Riven, I'm sorry. I know that it could happen at any time. I suppose I was trying to say to try not to let that rob you of time with your little girl who is very much alive.

Talk away. I hope that in some small way I and the others on here can help. Sorry if I am saying the wrong thing.

LottieDugalo Mon 20-Jul-09 15:39:37

My friend lost her little girl aged 14 months, she had been down for full resus but at the end they knew her little body couldn't go through it, she was exhausted and had been through so much, I saw her 12 hours before she died and there was something very different about her, I hope I will be brave enough to make the right decision if we ever have that choice to make, I worry that I won't I worry that I will keep her alive at all costs because my life will be meaningless once she's not with me. Sorry to go on, there's no-one in RL who gets it, iyswim? OH won't talk about it.

Our CDC has counsellors attached, you could maybe try your local one if you get no luck anywhere else.

Are there any charities that could help with a SATs monitor? Cerebra? I know health are very difficult to get them out of.

So sorry, I wish you weren't having to deal with this x

sarah293 Mon 20-Jul-09 15:52:05

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2shoes Mon 20-Jul-09 17:11:04

riven, sorry you are having to think about these things.

FioFio Mon 20-Jul-09 17:15:13

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sarah293 Mon 20-Jul-09 17:35:17

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slightlycrumpled Mon 20-Jul-09 18:21:56

I have nothing helpful to add riven, but just wanted to send very unmumsnetty (((hugs))).

Phoenix4725 Mon 20-Jul-09 18:49:02

sorry had to go through that ,i hadto think and concider it when dd been ill hospital protcal but in cold light of day when things seem ok must be so hard

flyingmum Mon 20-Jul-09 18:49:41

Hugs Riven. Can't think of anything profound - it all sounds so trite.

feelingbetter Mon 20-Jul-09 19:41:59

Agree with Phoenix, I remember discussing plans with the Dr.s about how DS would come home for his last hours when they were so sure we would lose him. Was split in two, discussing and organising was so matter-of-fact, whilst every cell of my body screamed with the pain of it. But it was then and it was (or so we thought) happening.

To think of it now.......I can hardly bear to try and imagine it.
I am very sorry x

sarah293 Tue 21-Jul-09 08:21:37

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