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Can I have some lessons in coping with meltdowns please?

(4 Posts)
twoisplenty Fri 17-Jul-09 09:42:19

My ds has cerebral palsy and epilepsy, but also has sld. He has no speech, but uses some makaton signing.

He used to be a lovely lad but now he is 10 his behaviour is appalling.

The usual triggers are when it's time for the toilet (he needs help to access the bathroom and toilet, help with clothes etc as he uses a wheelchair). Other triggers are getting to the table for any meal, but breakfast is the worst.

The main feature is that he will get angry and hit out when I ask/tell him to do anything that stops him doing what HE wants to do. So that mainly is all of the morning chores before school. Or toilet/shoes/coat before going out.

All of the usual methods of discipline do not have any effect, and usually wind him up even more. My usual methods are to send him to his bedroom to calm down. He does calm down, but he will kick off again as soon as he is back out of his bedroom.

I cannot reason with him.

When he starts getting cross, he shouts, screams, hits, bites, kicks and spits at me.

My dh usual response is to pick him up (he's only little) and put him where he should be ie. kitchen table or toilet.

I can't do that, he's too big for me. So I have no method whereby he will calm down and comply.

It's getting to the point where I end up in tears every day, I dread his behaviour. I can't cope with it.

Has anyone got any tips for me to be able to cope, and help him to learn that these tasks need to be done every day?

Thank you.

DidEinsteinsMum Fri 17-Jul-09 13:16:41

I saw this when looking through the unaswered and didnt want you to go unanswered. Unfortunately I cant help but am sorry that i cant. Hopefully this will bump the topic for you as i have a 4 yo who meltdown but does not have physical or verbal issues. And that is hard enough to deal with.

Hang in there


benjaminsmum Fri 17-Jul-09 14:02:59

Wish I could help but my ds age 5 with ASD does similar and I don't know what to do either. Mine is also as big and strong as 8 yr old. Hope someone posts with some answers cos I need them too!

DidEinsteinsMum Fri 17-Jul-09 14:11:18

Would a meltdown talk through thread help? ie we had a meltdown, i think because of this, I did this, what you used/say type thing. I am sure that I am getting caught in the middle of the situation and missing something obvious that someone seeing the situation from the outside would spot. Might kick me in the right dirction - ive tried the obvious.

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