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I wonder if my sis could have AS...

(9 Posts)
mysonben Wed 15-Jul-09 14:54:29

Well since ds 's verbal dx of asd, i 've been looking into our families to see if there could be a link. And surprise surprise there is lots going on...

On dh side: lots of allergies and asthma, his sisters and some of their children, as well as ds1. One of dh's cousin has a boy with HFA. And one of dh's sisters has 2 boys with ADHD.

On my side: lots of severe depression , my nan, 2 cousins (one of whch commited suicide sad), my sister ( who has bi-polar and ocd).
And another cousin who has shizophenia.

Now my sis was dx as bi-polar +ocd when she was about 25.
But as a child she was always mixing up with the wrong crowd and couldn't see what she was doing wrong, she was very difficult.
Very brainy she got a degree in languages at uni.
But she always puts her foot in it, it's as if she doesn't realise what she says to people sometimes (usually whithin a short time her new found friends get fed up with her comments), also she can pass as someone a bit snobbish with the way she talks , and she does talk a LOT! Talks like a book our dad says! And she is always right (according to herself!).
She seems to lack empathy too.
When i told her of ds 'dx , all she could say was "dear you're scaring me now ! What if my next baby has it!" (she was trying to get pg at the time.)

I personally think she may have AS tendancies also she has routines for everything (could be her ocd though).

I think that i probably have some asd tendancies too especially obvious as a child and teenager.

I don't know whether i should broach the subject with my mum , and whether i should mention it to ds' s paed at the next visit ( i didn't tell her about my side of the family last time).

PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot Wed 15-Jul-09 15:00:55

I'd ask your Mum yes, I did (even though I clearly have a lot of traits) and it was interesting

tales of how grandad and uncle were, how Mum is and has been for a long while convinced she has traits.

On the other side we have DH (depression), MIL (OCD), fil (odd- and I dont mean oppositio9nal definace either)

Tis all very interesting

mysonben Wed 15-Jul-09 15:03:53

hmm that portrait of my sis seems a bit abrupt and negative...
Really don't want to offend anyone who have AS, cannot really write all about my sister's character in one post so i just put down the obvious main reasons that make me wonder if she could have AS or possible tendancies at the very least. She is also a nice person and she can be a laugh too.

jasdox Wed 15-Jul-09 15:09:35

my ds exactly same as yours even to the age. Since looking into it, he is so similar to me (except i have no sound sensitivity), that i've decided i must be. am going to ask paed next time, am currently deciding whether to try and obtain a dx. I've heard it can be longwinded and probing the family etc (not good idea in my case). And do you gain anything by having a dx - unlike my ds i'm, working etc and busy, only just surviving school though. Regarding ds we have a multi-agency meeting in oct. But in the mean time have a 3di interval! what ever that is. sorry i digress.

Do you think you mum would be open to the idea, I said it to mine, and she just said, we probably all have it, and that was that. I mentioned my dad to the paed, and told me not to tell him, i guess at 75 its not a good age to find out. I think if it brings understanding and helps in someway yes, otherwise might....

mysonben Wed 15-Jul-09 15:22:56

I have talked to my mum a bit regarding the bi-polar and ocd of my sis, i think my mum perceive my sis' AS tendancies as nothing more than a somewhat difficult personality iynwim?
As for myself when i told mum about the fact that ds has trouble socialising with his peers , she said :"well you were the same when you were a kid and you're ok now!"

Not sure if bringing up the subject further would actually benefit anyone , but will surely upset a few! hmm

jasdox Wed 15-Jul-09 15:36:38

my sis's are all cool about it. i have a twin, she is definitely not, always been v. social, with it, knows what to say etc, quite different to me, I use to think we were identical, to look at us we are, but character wise, not. my other sis is not but her ds is severely autistic, and we are certain her xh is (he ran out on finding out about his ds). And she is now i would say a campaigner and has a blog about her/ds (20y). my two brothers, well that's another story, v. dismissive, harsh and negative about it all - i wonder if they worry about it, but one has 4 children and all ok.

mysonben Wed 15-Jul-09 16:03:49

I was reading a little while ago about the fact that almost all asd children have a parent or other relatives who present with "autistic " tendancies.
I've never been very social myself, i 'd love to be but never know what to really say , as a child i remember absolutely hating having to meet new children like at summer camp for ex. I loved my books and was happy reading in my room during the holidays, my mum had to push me to go out to find some friends, i was picked on at junior school and only had a couple of friends. I didn't take to change easily. And i had a few routines, and i used to count things a LOT!!! (I still do when i'm very bored!!!blush) not that it happens often with 3 kids! wink

amberflower Wed 15-Jul-09 20:04:24

This is an interesting DH is constantly saying that we really shouldn't worry about DS because he is simply like DH was as a child (quiet and shy in large group, bit introverted, tall for age and clumsy). I wouldn't say that DH has particular ASD tendencies in adulthood, though - obviously I didn't know him in childhood so can't comment grin.

His brother though was under child psych for anxiety/separation issues at age 5/6, as was my sister at a slightly later age (7/8) - though again I would not pick out anything in particular with either of them in adulthood. My mum struggled with severe PND after both pregnancies but no long-lasting mental health issues.

I on the other hand was generally a very serene child but have definitely developed some mildly OCD-esque tendencies in adulthood. Though to be honest I have always put these down to secondary infertility (they only manifested themselves once we realised conceiving a second time was going to be a struggle). But both DH and I would agree that whilst we are sociable to a point, we are also very happy with our own company. Neither of us were ever sent to our rooms for punishment as children, for example - because it would have been a treat smile we would simply have curled up on the bed to read a book.

So yes, I can definitely see personality traits in DS (the happy-with-own-company, occasional anxiety etc) that have clearly come down the family line so to speak. Then again I can remember phrases from my own primary school reports along the lines of 'amberflower is an outgoing little girl who finds it easy to make friends' - well that certainly is NOT my DS! (and I don't just mean he is not a girl wink).

I would say it is definitely a topic to bring up with your paed but not necessarily to discuss big-time with your family unless you think they will be receptive to it in a positive way.

mumslife Wed 15-Jul-09 22:07:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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