Nothing new. Just ds struggling at school. Have started going in to help out when he he is really having a bad day. On Tuesday I was with him and he had a huge meltdown and shouted at me in front of his class and teachers telling me he wanted "a new Mummy", told his teacher to "send Mummy away and get me a new one", "tell her to leave forever". I know he has autism and I do not take it personally but it was just awful. I started crying and had to leave the room for few minutes to compose myself. He melts down at home but it never gets to that point here as he obviously feels safer here. He was so sorry afterwards. Also worried now that school will think I am not coping.
I don't know what I am doing anymore. Just feel as though I am floundering around and nothing I am doing for him is working or helping him. He hates school and is stressed every single day. Is it right to keep forcing him into an environment that is making him so unhappy? Every day I drop him off and walk away feeling like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I am crying all the time over silly little things. I can hardly even be bothered to MN anymore . Think I could be depressed but too scared to go to doctors in case they think I am not coping. I am, I have too but I just feel crap all the time.
Thanks for reading, just needed to get it out. I thought getting his diagnosis would make things easier but it hasn't really worked like that. So much more to think about now.
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Ds ASD. Have to talk or I am going to implode.
9 replies
sunfleurs · 09/07/2009 10:16
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