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Oh arse arse arse - Ds2's 1:1 not with him next year

(13 Posts)
sphil Wed 08-Jul-09 22:22:26

We were told today - she has been with him since he started at the m/s school and I'd (probably stupidy) assumed she'd be with him til she left. SENCO says it's for her 'professional development' - she's going to be a whole-class TA - and tbh I can see that this will be good for her, as it's her first job and she's doing a teaching degree part-time.

But I am so, so gutted for DS2 - he has a fantastic bond with her, she understands his speech and I get on with her very well. Next year he's having two TAs over the week - both perfectly nice women who I know quite well - but much more difficult as far as consistency, communication and bonding are concerned. And I just don't think the Head realises how important these things are.

I cried. All over the SENCO. That'll teach her.

lingle Wed 08-Jul-09 23:07:51


anonandlikeit Thu 09-Jul-09 17:52:32

Oh, its scary isn't it BUT it may end up being a good thing for him..... Not sure who i'm trying to convince here, as i'm waiting to find out if ds2 gets to keep his TA.

5inthebed Thu 09-Jul-09 18:21:45

How long has she been his 1:1?

sphil Thu 09-Jul-09 22:33:11

Since he started at the school a year and a half ago. But it takes him about two terms to 'bond' with someone - and by that I mean recognise (so can pick out of a group), speak to, be confident with, pay attention to and trust.

I know he has to get used to new people, but surely they could have phased her out gradually, so that she had time to introduce him to the new person?

5inthebed Thu 09-Jul-09 22:41:12

CAn you maybe speak to the school and voice your concerns, especially as you've said there will be two TA's. That in itself might be harder than just a change in person IYKWIM.

sphil Thu 09-Jul-09 23:17:20

DH is going in next week - he will be less emotional than me and therefore get his point across better. He is going to argue that school policies (ie. changing TAs around every year) should not be applied inflexibly across the board and that it will affect DS2's learning to get used to two new people at once.

cyberseraphim Fri 10-Jul-09 10:19:14

That sounds awful - the only thing I can say is that we had a similar situation last year when we lost someone 'irreplaceable' but now we have someone better - for his needs now and being brutally honest, if the 'irreplacable' one came back we would not want her as DS1 has moved on.

About the donation, my paypal has seized up so will post a donation to the 'doll address' which i still have.

sphil Fri 10-Jul-09 11:51:32

Oh thanks Cyber - that's very kind smile

I am beginning too see that there may be a slightly silver tainted lining in all this. The Head of the Lang. Resource Base, who has previously had nothing to do with DS2 (different funding angry) has now been asked to train DS2's new TAs next year, in a weekly session with him, so she can model techniques. She is fab, so pleased about that. Also, there is going to be a specialist unit on site from Sept and it looks as if DS2 might get more access to that - again positive, as teacher there also v good.

Still angry about the whole principle of moving TAs for children with complex needs around and that's what DH will talk about next week.

Haven't had much response to my doll request - unless the poster who enquired about using it with her DD still wants it?
Otherwise I could return it to you - or pass it on to the specialist unit at the school? I know she's toilet training practically her whole class atm!

cyberseraphim Fri 10-Jul-09 11:55:15

I think giving it to the unit is a great idea - The poor thing is still waiting for his first success !!

My mum's friend is a TA for an autistic boy and she was asked to move school (locally and she was happy to go) so that continuity could be maintained and this was a much older boy so yes it is not fair that the issue of the child's needs is so easily overlooked (when it suits them)

sphil Tue 14-Jul-09 18:33:32

angry update - have just found out that one of the TAs assigned to DS2 next year has been taken from my friend's son, who has AS and is really not good AT ALL with change (probably worse than DS2 tbh). This TA was also a bit too honest with me (she is also a friend) and told me that she'd asked to stay with the boy with AS, but was told she 'had' to go with DS2shock

So not only is DS2 going to have someone supporting him next year who wouldn't have chosen that option, but he's also taken that person away from my friend's son, who is going to be devastated! It's a bloody mess.

PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot Tue 14-Jul-09 18:38:42

Ours has moved children also, theyre not allowed to stay in case attachments form

luckily new one is V V V great but sad

am thining its going to implode soon anyhow but will start thread later after Cubs run

Can you call a meeting to ask them to review? I know its late notice though.

SOOOOO glad ds3 out of it all now.

sphil Tue 14-Jul-09 20:01:59

' In case attachments form'

Well God forbid that that should happen for a child with ASD! FFS angry.

The main reason DS2 has done well at m/s so far is his developing bond with his TA. In fact I would go so far as to argue that the forming of this relationship has been a vital part of his education and progress. Yet another point to add to the two pages I've got for the Head so far. So thanks Peachy! sad for your DS1 - he sounds quite similar to the boy with AS I mentioned in my last post (the one who's losing his TA so DS2 can have her). He's allowed to choose a friend and stay in at lunch time though - but has fab teacher this year who works in her room and doesn't mind supervising.

Am about to start another thread to gain ammunition for talk with Head...

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