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How to get DS assessed? Do yo u recognize your child in this? Please help

(8 Posts)
brette Tue 30-Jun-09 11:36:42

I've posted before regarding my DS (4.5 yo) biting and agressivity.
I am at the end of my tether, Yesterday, he lashed out at me, bit me on the thumb and I bled. I all went very fast, he was having a tantrum to stay up later, his dad and I were telling him no and he lost it. I'm very very sad and angry (he's banned from going on the PC/DVD for a week)

First, I would like to know if some of you with SN children will recognize something in his description:
To sum up his personality: he is extremely smily, loves to cuddle, is very curious, very bright, he has an impressive photographic memory, taught himself to read in French and English by the age of 3.5, is extremely comfortable with numbers, is obsessed with tubes, trains and knows the whole London transport network by heart.
He is very advanced in literacy.

Socially, he was never interested in children until he started school in January. Since then, his social skills have improved but the other kids tend to avoid him because he can push/squeeze... He bit a child very strongly during his first week there, but since then, with a chart system, attention, etc. his behaviour has improved a lot...
He still is not invited to any birthday parties

He is not particularly clumsy, he has great attention to details, he is not of the sportive type (neither are we) but I wouldn't say he lacks in coordination. He is very active.

On a sensorial side, he is extremely sensitive to sounds, he covers his ears if a sound is too loud, he used to smell food, he has a very strong sense of smell. As for the tactile side, it seems he needs to touch our skin in a compulsive way. For instance, I have a little mole on the elbow and he NEEDS to touch it. It's hard to explain but it seems some of his behaviours are very compulsive.

Altough he's always up for anything, he has very rigid routines (when we play, we have to say things this way, not that way...) and turns into a tyran because of that. He can get very distressed if things don't go his way if he plays (if he pretends the kitchen door is the tube door and we are 'between two stations', he gets very distressed if we try to open it...) And he never gives up.

And the list goes on...

He is my first child, so I have no point of reference...

He was assessed at nursery before going to school. They just thought he might have sensorial issues. I've filled in a questionnaire three months ago but I didn't get any feedback. The school's OT was supposed to see him than left... The new one saw him once in class and never got back to me... I just called the school Senco and aked her to call me back, I need more info...
But I want to take the matter in my own hands... Any advice welcome re OT in North London.

I do not understand his behaviour and it breaks my heart to think that we might be trying to discipline him when he cannot control himself, and if it is the case, then, we have the wrong approach and we might be doing more harm than good...

Sorry very long rant, but I am very confused and sad...

troutpout Tue 30-Jun-09 11:47:15

I'm so sorry you are having a hard time Brette
Go to your gp and ask for a referral to cahms. This is the route we took for a diagnosis.
Ds has a dx of aspergers and dyspraxia
and yes some of the things you have mentioned sound very familiar

brette Tue 30-Jun-09 12:04:09

Thank you Troutpout. I hadn't even thought of the GP... Appointment made.

mumslife Tue 30-Jun-09 13:55:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

coppertop Tue 30-Jun-09 14:27:32

Sorry you've been having such a tough time, Brette.

Some of your description sounds a lot like my 6yr-old with AS. Hopefully your GP will be able to refer you on to someone who can help.

Good luck.

sunfleurs Tue 30-Jun-09 15:23:38

Hi Brette. Alot of you say sounds just like my ds (6) with a diagnosis of High Functioning Autism, especially the knowing the London transport network by heart as well as obssessions with trains, tubes etc. Ds also has sensory issues with regards to sounds, touch and taste and textures of foods as well as many of the other things you say. He can be very aggressive at school with biting and kicking etc but not at home.

You need to ask to be referred to a Developmental Paediatrician when you go to the GP. We are in W. London so you may share the same clinics etc. Our route to diagnosis went very smoothly, surprisingly so, though I know this is not always the case. I do think though that there is an advantage in being in London, they really seem to have systems pinned down here.

"I do not understand his behaviour and it breaks my heart to think that we might be trying to discipline him when he cannot control himself, and if it is the case, then, we have the wrong approach and we might be doing more harm than good..."

This was me before we got our diagnosis. When they told me ds had HFA I sobbed with sheer relief that now I had something to hang on to and he couldn't be labelled or told off any more at school for things he couldn't help. Please post if you have any more questions. Your ds sounds very familiar to me.

brette Tue 30-Jun-09 19:33:09

Thank you for your answers.
And thank you Sunfleurs. I think it would be reassuring to have any kind of diagnosis, even if, I am not going to lie, the word autism is a bit scary.

lingle Tue 30-Jun-09 20:30:30

this sounds a bit like my brother in childhood - I believe him to have Aspergers syndrome (undiagnosed).

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