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Sports Day horror - seeing DS with NT peers made me cry ...

(12 Posts)
MarmadukeScarlet Fri 19-Jun-09 13:47:46

Luckily I had sunglasses on and he didn't see.

I rarely see DS with NT DC around his own age, but today really upset me. I just wasn't prepared for how emotional it would be.

He has been held back a year, so is in last year of pre-school not Reception but even so the difference was shocking - I always kid myself that he is catching up, doing well etc but the reality is far different.

Also, today, he had his LSA that I do not feel is up to the job (and he hasn't bnded with) and she seemed completely unable to assess what level of support he needed for each task.

When I arrived it was the running race, he can run fast if not in a very straight line or balanced fashion - but he was wearing another TA's hat (very silly one) and being firmly held by the hand by LSA. She is a rather large older (50?) woman so he was running at her speed rather than his own faster pace, the others had finished before he was half way.

She then didn't support him at all during the team bending poles and he go half way (not actually going in and out) and froze.

I could go on, but it was all along a similar vein.

Perhaps I should just give up on M/S and go for the SN school option (as my LEA want me to, am going to Ed Tribunal to force through statement) whare at least my DS will be one of the most able instead of always the least. Oh god, you know I don't mean that horribly about the other SN children - am just finding it all so bloody hard atm./

BriocheDoree Fri 19-Jun-09 14:04:49

{{hugs}} marmaduke.
Shame on the LSA whose supposed to be helping you making it all harder to take!!

MarmadukeScarlet Fri 19-Jun-09 14:30:28

Thank you Brioche (yum, yum) the hug is much appreciated.

Apols to all for the double post, but PC very slow today (or I am impatient?)

coppertop Fri 19-Jun-09 17:46:26

I dread school sports days.

<shudder>

The LSA sounds bloody hopeless less than useful.

I'd offer you a virtual brioche but it sounds almost cannibalistic on this thread. So have some virtual chocolate instead. xx

MarmadukeScarlet Mon 22-Jun-09 10:10:00

Thank you for the choc coppertop! x

troutpout Mon 22-Jun-09 12:51:28

Aww marmaduke

I used to dread sports day too when ds was at primary

<<offers marmaduke something chocolatey>>

FioFio Mon 22-Jun-09 13:17:41

Message withdrawn

Frasersmum123 Mon 22-Jun-09 13:40:04

Sorry that you had such an upsetting experience. I dont have any advice but I have sympathy

MarmadukeScarlet Mon 22-Jun-09 14:49:33

Fio, the only SN school my LEA will offer (wil not currently offer support in Mainstream, as my 2 local maintaned mainstream schools will not offer him a place claimed to be full but actually are not - I called them and pretended to have just bought a house, was told there were several vacancies in both Yr 1 and Reception) is for DC with severe and complex learning diffs.

DS has a complex speech and language disorder and very low muscle tone with some neurological contractions (CP), so mobility issues, but his non verbal IQ/problem solving is 6 months + above his actal age.

He did a split placement at SN nursery, so I know 80% of DC that would be alongside him at the SN school. He needs positive language role models, 5/8 of the DC he was nursery with do not speak at all - the majority have sereve learning difficulties.

The local specialist speech unit will not take him due to his physical disability, need for physio, very low muscle tone = struggles with writing, sitting for long periods, running, walking and still in nappies.

So DS is stuck in 'no man's land' and Kent are bloody useless. Currently paying for him to be in independent education and for his LSA.

Makes me want to beat my head against a brick wall.

FioFio Mon 22-Jun-09 15:54:53

Message withdrawn

eidsvold Mon 22-Jun-09 22:44:50

I think the LSA makes all the difference. My dd1 is in mainstream school and she participated fully in sports day. She was left alone to run her race and whilst she did not win etc - she still was cheered along and did as well as she could. Last year they let her run just 1/2 the difference. This year - she is far too independent for them to do that. The TA's worked alongside dd1 encouraging and explaining if need be but also stepped back and allowed her to participate fully rather then in a very supported way as this LSA seems to be doing.

One of the reasons we put dd1 in mainstream was that all the research says children with down syndrome actually fair better in mainstream and have such positive models in terms of speech and social skills etc that she needs that. We have seen her improve out of sight since attending both mainstream kindy and school.

I think you may need to speak with the school regarding this and perhaps let them know what you expect of them. Sometimes you need to make your wishes known. Just something like - I noticed x,y,z and think given a,b,c that next time it would be better for Junior Marmaduke Scarlett if this happened - especially as you are paying for the LSA!!!

MarmadukeScarlet Mon 22-Jun-09 22:57:29

Thanks Eids, I spoke to the school on Friday pm. I was probably a little cross/upset and should have left it until I was calmer, but I needed to get it off my chest. Yes, knowing how much it was costing me was part of the reason I was so horrified at her obvious inability - I hope to god we win the tribunal or I will be paying her full time from Sept <gulp> am having to sell DH's car as it is and no one wants to buy my body. grin

Fio, I too cannot understand why there are no PD schools, there are a few designated maintained mainstream school that have care suites in my area - Kent have asked me to go and visit the one furthest from my home (of course), there are 102 maintained mainstream schools nearer me including 2 (that I know of) with care suites, one less than 3 miles away. So I might get a place there, but am not getting my hopes up due to the pressure for spaces at these 'semi-PD' schools.

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