I phoned ss today and now i feel gulity/scared/fedup/confused!!

[northernmonkey]

I posted once before about a month back about my ds having adhd and i couldn't cope. i'd changed my name that time, but with the recent troll issue i thought, sod it, i've nothing to hide.

My ds (8) has sever adhd and yet again tonight he became very violent so i bit the bullet and phoned ss. The bloke on the other end of the phone was really nice and spoke to me all the time ds was carrying on. He asked loads of questions then basicly said, because ds is hitting me the most and only leaving slight bruises/marks on dd and ds2, then they'd probably not interveen[sp?].
The bloke was great at calming me down but after i felt really let down. Yet again i'm asking for help and no'one seems to bother.

How on earth can it be right for a child to scartch, bite, kick' give black eyes and almost break my wrist and get away with it, yet if it was an adult doing this to a child its wrong????

Sorry just feel a bit frustrated

[pillsthrillsandbellyaches]

hi there,
what a crap service you got.

you could try phoning again and ask for the duty social worker and ask them to make a referral to the children with disabilities social work team. if its done through duty they'll have to come out and see you. at the very least you should be getting some moral support from a social worker. even a monthly visit to let you talk and let off some steam sounds like it would be a start.

good luck.

otherwise, are you in contact with any local support groups? parents groups or similar?

[5inthebed]

Poor you. It must be so stressful having to eal with that and get no help from SS.
I've not had any dealing with SS, so can't really advise you on this. One of my RL friends is in the same boat as you, her son is constantly attacking her, but as he doesn't attack her other DS, they do nothing about respite. She does have a Social Worker though, so maybe you could look into getting one?

[northernmonkey]

We are in touch with a local support group who have put us on yet another parenting group
I do understand these are helpful and i'm grateful for having that support, it's just not the kind of support we need right now iyswim. We've got to a point where we need extra support at home and possibly respite.

I know when i phoned ss it was just after 5 so they were ready for home. he did say he'd put my case forward in the morning and we may get a visitor sometime soon, but he just thought with the other support we have, there's probably no need

[5inthebed]

Well you obviously need some extra help if you're calling SS! Makes me so sometimes!

I called SS last year during the summer holidays when I was ready to crack up (was 7 months pg at the time as well), this was before ds2 started his SN school and he was a nightmare. I was told that becuase he didn't have core autism, and because he was only 3 that we were not entitled to help yet.

[northernmonkey]

so i'm not the only one feeling like i'm banging my head against the wall.
It just seems wrong that when people really need support, they cant get it

[5inthebed]

It sucks royally!

[northernmonkey]

"he has a safe home to go to" ffs its not safe when they're smashing the house up. I feel for you maryz

It is true though that ss is a last ditch attempt. I have wanted to phone them for so long but never dared. It took a lot to speak to them tonight, i think i hung up 3 times before i actually finally did it.

[northernmonkey]

Well after a whole day trying to figure out whats wrong with our braodband we've only just got back online

I haven't phoned them back today and now its gone 5 on a friday night i know ther's nothing i can do untill monday
I will give both ss and the child disabilty team a ring then though. A carers assesment sounds like what we need. We only got a dx last year and i'm still quite new to all these different organisations but i'm sure i'll get there. I feel like i've plodded on coping quietly for the last 7 years and its wierd asking for help all of a sudden but i know i'll find the help we need out there...somewhere
Thankyou all for your replies, i'm very grateful