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Here some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

I phoned ss today and now i feel gulity/scared/fedup/confused!!

(14 Posts)
northernmonkey Thu 18-Jun-09 21:28:25

I posted once before about a month back about my ds having adhd and i couldn't cope. i'd changed my name that time, but with the recent troll issue i thought, sod it, i've nothing to hide.

My ds (8) has sever adhd and yet again tonight he became very violent so i bit the bullet and phoned ss. The bloke on the other end of the phone was really nice and spoke to me all the time ds was carrying on. He asked loads of questions then basicly said, because ds is hitting me the most and only leaving slight bruises/marks on dd and ds2, then they'd probably not interveen[sp?].
The bloke was great at calming me down but after i felt really let down. Yet again i'm asking for help and no'one seems to bother.

How on earth can it be right for a child to scartch, bite, kick' give black eyes and almost break my wrist and get away with it, yet if it was an adult doing this to a child its wrong????

Sorry just feel a bit frustrated

hi there,
what a crap service you got.

you could try phoning again and ask for the duty social worker and ask them to make a referral to the children with disabilities social work team. if its done through duty they'll have to come out and see you. at the very least you should be getting some moral support from a social worker. even a monthly visit to let you talk and let off some steam sounds like it would be a start.

good luck.

otherwise, are you in contact with any local support groups? parents groups or similar?

5inthebed Thu 18-Jun-09 21:37:59

Poor you. It must be so stressful having to eal with that and get no help from SS.
I've not had any dealing with SS, so can't really advise you on this. One of my RL friends is in the same boat as you, her son is constantly attacking her, but as he doesn't attack her other DS, they do nothing about respite. She does have a Social Worker though, so maybe you could look into getting one?

northernmonkey Thu 18-Jun-09 21:45:38

We are in touch with a local support group who have put us on yet another parenting group hmm
I do understand these are helpful and i'm grateful for having that support, it's just not the kind of support we need right now iyswim. We've got to a point where we need extra support at home and possibly respite.

I know when i phoned ss it was just after 5 so they were ready for home. he did say he'd put my case forward in the morning and we may get a visitor sometime soon, but he just thought with the other support we have, there's probably no need shock

5inthebed Thu 18-Jun-09 21:59:44

Well you obviously need some extra help if you're calling SS! Makes me so angry sometimes!

I called SS last year during the summer holidays when I was ready to crack up (was 7 months pg at the time as well), this was before ds2 started his SN school and he was a nightmare. I was told that becuase he didn't have core autism, and because he was only 3 that we were not entitled to help yet.

northernmonkey Thu 18-Jun-09 22:08:13

so i'm not the only one feeling like i'm banging my head against the wall.
It just seems wrong that when people really need support, they cant get it angry

5inthebed Thu 18-Jun-09 22:18:25

It sucks royally!

maryz Thu 18-Jun-09 22:54:38

I sympathise northernmonkey. I have contacted SS about ds1, 15. He has Asperger's and has really gone off the rails. He has more than once slept rough, he is involved with drugs, he has smashed up our house (holes in walls, doors off hinges), our younger son is terrified of him, and yet SS will not get involved as "he has a safe home to go to".

I really hope you get some help, waiting until your son is too old for you to manage at all. Parenting groups are all very well, but there is only so much you can "learn".

Do they not realise that to contact SS is really a last ditch effort to get help.

northernmonkey Thu 18-Jun-09 23:21:45

"he has a safe home to go to" shock angryffs its not safe when they're smashing the house up. I feel for you maryz

It is true though that ss is a last ditch attempt. I have wanted to phone them for so long but never dared. It took a lot to speak to them tonight, i think i hung up 3 times before i actually finally did it.

busybeingmum Thu 18-Jun-09 23:29:07

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busybeingmum Fri 19-Jun-09 07:23:26

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sarah293 Fri 19-Jun-09 08:14:27

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northernmonkey Fri 19-Jun-09 17:07:40

Well after a whole day trying to figure out whats wrong with our braodband we've only just got back online angry

I haven't phoned them back today and now its gone 5 on a friday night i know ther's nothing i can do untill monday
I will give both ss and the child disabilty team a ring then though. A carers assesment sounds like what we need. We only got a dx last year and i'm still quite new to all these different organisations but i'm sure i'll get there. I feel like i've plodded on coping quietly for the last 7 years and its wierd asking for help all of a sudden but i know i'll find the help we need out there...somewhere
Thankyou all for your replies, i'm very grateful

maryz Fri 19-Jun-09 17:15:18

I think the most important thing is not to be afraid to ask for help. I left it too late - I thought we could manage, and because he is now almost 16 we are leaving the child services and entering the adult ones, which are severely underfinanced (I'm in Ireland). The carer's assessment sounds like a great idea - the only thing we have been offered is that they will "organise some sort of b&b accommodation for him when he turns 16". We might as well sign his death sentence as he would just get deeper into the drug culture.

I do think you need to contact them again. They need to see that you are serious, not just over-reacting to a single situation. Best of luck.

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