6 year old dds behaviour,advice really appreciated

[blackmonday]

my 6 year old dd has always been a bit 'different' from her peers. She is socially shy, very anxious, hates loud noises, balloons, won't dance, gets bothered by things not being 'quite right'. By that I mean if the seam in her socks is not just right she has a tantrum, if her laces aren't just right, she has a tantrum. I know she's highly sensitive and I have bought the book which has helped. Things seem to be getting worse. She's started to hate school. In the playground she will hide behind me with her head down and not talk to any of her friends when they come to say hello. She seems really angry all of the time. Her behaviour at home is really bad. If we try even to gently discipline her she will scream so loudly and run around the house/garden screaming. I love her so much but am at a complete loss. I don't know the best way to correct her bad behaviour and i am starting to wonder if there is more to it (aspergers/autism spectrum). She also bites her nails to the quick and sits with her hands over her ears in class if it gets too noisy.Please help, i am really at my wits end and am getting fed up of blaming myself for being a bad parent

[siblingrivalry]

Hi

Firstly, you aren't a bad parent. Apart from biting her nails,my dd (8) does all of the things your daughter does -she has Asperger's. She has a lot of sensory issues and it sounds as though your dd may have, too.

I think it's worthwhile asking your GP for a referral to a Child Development Centre or a paediatrician, so that your daughter can be properly assessed.
I know it's worrying and stressful, but you will feel better once you start to get some answers.
Good luck x

[blackmonday]

Its so nice to hear from someone whose child behaves in a similar way. I compare my dd to my friends children and get upset that she doesn't enjoy the things they do. I'll definately get a referral. thank you for your adivcex

[siblingrivalry]

Help is available; Occupational Therapy is particularly beneficial for sensory difficulties, so it could also be worth asking your GP about this.

My dd's diagnosis is recent, so I am well aware of what you will be going through. The best advice I was given was to become a 'squeaky wheel', as that can be the only way of ensuring your voice is heard. So I am now officially a pain in the backside with regards to appointments/reports etc!

There are a lot of experienced posters on this board and you will get some excellent advice and support. You aren't alone.

[Pinkchampagne]

Sounds a lot like my eldest son in a lot of ways too. He doesn't socialise well & cannot cope with large groups of people, is very anxious, doesn't appear a happy child, still puts his hands over his ears when I hoover & doesn't like our power shower because of the noise it makes & he also often chews at his clothes etc. He is 9 now & we have been going through the assessment process for over two years with no answers yet.

Like you, I can't help but compare him to other children of his age & don't know any others quite like him. I get really down about it. It is hard work when you don't understand your childs behaviour & I am sorry you have this worry.

[galen]

I would say it is worth discussing your concerns with the school , to get their view on her behaviour at school and then speaking to your GP about a referral for assessment.I am in a simaler position with my (almost) 5 yr old. She has loads of sensory issues, (does the sock thing too!) although is not the same scially - she is actually the opposite - will go up and talk to anyone and everyone!
I have arranged to go to speak to her teacher as I am curious to know what they make of her - I havent heard of any problems yet (except once when she kicked someone ) so I do wonder if all her issues and extreme behaviour only happens at home and is infact our fault....anyway I think it would be better to know.
Good luck with her.