Son diagnosed with ASD and sensory problems today, no suprise, had to pay privately though as CAMHS were terrible

[brandy77]

One of the major problems is taking him to new places and the awful stress/aggression that he displays, any advice on how to help with this would be great thankyou. Ive practically avoided taking him anywhere for all of his life! Hes 4.5 years old. What do you do, as you cant obviously get him used to a new environment when its a one off party.

Also with the incessant waffling and fixation on only the subject that he wants to talk about, do you just nod and agree till he stops?! Ive tried changing the conversation and he looks at me dumbly and then just carries on waffling, he can start up the most waffly conversations with people at our local shops and goes on and on and i just smile and say "boy he does chat doesnt he", people do find him kinda cute but they obviously get bored in the end!

Thanks a lot, and it took me ages to find the SEN board, had to google it to access it. Is it under a new heading?

[brandy77]

anybody?

also are most ASD kids statemented?

[sickofsocalledexperts]

My ASD boy is statemented and he did have the aggression at that age but not the need for sameness. He was also non-verbal so I didn't have the chatting thing! On the aggression though I had an absolute zero tolerance policy - as that is the thing which is really going to adversely affect him in life/school. I gave him a hairwash every single time he was aggressive. It took 2 months, but he is now no longer aggressive at all. I chose hairwash because he hated it, and actually it's not horrible really and he did have very shiny hair. I don't believe in hitting kids at all, but I do think that little boys need something aversive in behavioural terms to put them off lashing out - in fact some of the larger boys in our society could do with that lesson too imho! Good luck!

[TotalChaos]

re:statementing - depends on what sort of support your child needs, and how tightfisted financially constrained your local LEA is.

I would look into what the triggers are for problems - whether it's crowds/noise/smell etc - i.e. a sensory issue, or whether it;'s unfamiliarity. If it's unfamiliarity then talking things through in advance/showing photos/visual timetable may help. If it's sensory then you may find a book called "the out of syn child" by carol kranowitz has useful ideas.

Yes they have just changed the headings this week for SN section (as parents of teens with SN wanted a sub-board to discuss teen issues) so HQ has split up the SN section into different topics.

[bubblagirl]

hi hope your ok i use now and next with my ds and this prepares him for what will be happening and can be carried with you while out if needed

we use a timer for the subjects he wants to talk about his very much into his cars sticker book needing to know the names but there is 180 and he does this every day so we do 10 names a day

is there any sn groups in your area they run courses on behaviour management etc for ASD children and for parents to understand there child better

its probably more anxiety rather than meaningful aggression my ds displayed this until now and next board was introduced also my ds had trouble settling to sleep so pead gave melatonin and behaviorally he has calmed down so much he could be another child all his sensitivities have lessoned we can now go more places without the need of now and next although verbally has alot of reminders

its just learning new ways to parent as my ds need more visual preparation needs to be reminded and guided through the day but he can cope with so much now and ive lessened my expectations of him and now manage his ASD and behaviors so much better

[bubblagirl]

regarding statement we are in process at moment as my ds needs help socially, he has communication difficulties does he have help at pre school do they have concerns with what he needs help with does he need more care i think the settling in and anxieties could be enough to warrant a statement as now and next can be used within the school to help with routine and settling

it would benefit your ds to go through with process as he would then have the appropriate help he will need to be comfortable and settled within the school environment

[MumOfThreeMonkeys]

hi, just wanted to know what problems you had with CAMHS as im waiting for a referal for dd, also who dx privatly was it a pead? just that im waiting on dd to be formaly dx

[brandy77]

Thanks for all your replies, bubblegirl my son took 3months of me being gradually withdrawn from the preschool with the use of an egg timer, 5mins at a time, then 10mins etc. until we didnt need the egg timer and he let me leave him for half hour going up half hourly, took 3 months, he was only attending 2 mornings so im guessing it will be quicker at reception as hes there daily.He loves playschool now, ive had the odd few days, where ive had to physically lift him out of the car, but he is happy there and has a few little friends.

I am very concerned that he will be distraught if hes torn off me, i already know that this will happen and i dont think it will be acceptable for me to do the slow withdrawal in big school? The teacher is a SENCO, the class only has 14 children and there are 2 TA's so a statement at this stage may not be necessary BUT i work in secondary school and i know the ASD/aspergers kids really struggle with the mixed timetable, the size of the schools and the socialising.

MO3M, CAMHS in my area are awful, they ping pong you around the services and nothing gets done. I complained to my GP that I felt the pyschologist wasnt listening to anything i said at all, it was plainly obvious that my son had ASD traits. They referred me back to the original mental health nurse who said she couldnt cope with his complex problems after she did an inital assessment, i asked the pysche why the nurse would suddenly be able to help my son when she couldnt 7weeks ago when she met him. I just kept getting met with blank faces and they said i could learn to lower my sons severe anxiety myself by being taught how to do a start chart?!?! They totally ignored the fact that i cant take him anywhere because of his freaking out in new places. Anyway my GP confirmed that none of the local gp's like the CAMHS because they just go round in circles and get nothing done, just pushing you from one person to another. She recommended the private assessment and within 1.5 hours i was told by this pyschiatrist that my son definitely had ASD, it just confirmed to me and his father what we knew anyway really, shame we had to pay thought. It may be that its the CAMHS in my area that are awful, a few people i know are now thinking of paying privately because they are getting nowhere and getting no support

[HelensMelons]

Hi Brandy

Know how you feel about avoiding new things!! Had to take them all to two of my other dc's fun day at school this morning - not my idea of fun at all!!

It was fine.

I use "First" and "then" which is similar to bubbla's "now and next". I carry a yellow post it pad around in my handbag in case I need to draw or write something.

I plan and get pictures of where we are going if I can.

It sounds like a visual timetable in school clearly showing him what's happening and when might help. We went through periods of stress when changing from pre school to P1 etc and it's worrying for parents.

No matter how much planning I do sometimes it all goes tits up and other times it's fine!!

[bigdonna]

hi brandy77 u said you had your ds assessed by a clinical pychologist what area are you in as i need to find a private one to assess my ds11.

[brandy77]

Hi bigdonna, im in kent