Social workers - help or hinderance?

[Welshwoman]

I have a DS1 with Asd and ADHD also two smaller children with other milder disabilities - things are getting a bit stressful at the moment and my friends (who is a social worker) says I should get a core assessment done and get my self a social worker and maybe some respite.

The only problem is my house is wrecked at the moment (ds1 stressed and destructive)and my DH is not keen (ex police man - very neg view of ss)

Does anyone else who has a child with special needs have a social worker and has it been helpful or just more hoops to jump through?

[glitteryb6]

think its the only way to get access to things like direct payments, respite etc
we just got assigned one after a 2 year wait! i was told by the SW OT that (because my house was relatively tidy and i wasnt a gibbering wreck ) that i didnt look like someone who needed help!

[MumOfThreeMonkeys]

im having my first meeting with SW tomorrow

[VJaybigpants]

Mine is really helpful when ever I need her. She spent 2 hours just helping fill in some forms once. There is no interference, just help when I need it

[Welshwoman]

lol - re gibbering wreck - I think I can come across as a bit too in control and just a ''worried'' middle class mummy sometimes - till people actually see my ds1 have a meltdown when they become - ??how do you cope ?? etc
My house is usually not too bad - but recently ds1 is just so restless and destructive I?m struggling to keep on top of it with work commitments as well - dreading the summer holidays which I usually love

[glitteryb6]

VJay i see you are in Scotland.
Can i ask, what type of help have you been offerred thru the SW?
ive not had an assessment yet so dont know what i can ask for or what they can offer?

[VJaybigpants]

glittery ds was diagnosed with autism in September last year and the SW was on the diagnosis team. She introduced herself and just said call her anytime we needed help or advice. So far I have asked her help with filling in the DLA form and advice about getting the ds the right support in school, ie what he needs and should have etc. She also has been to a meeting with us and the school when setting up ds's learning plans. It's hard to know what to ask help for because sometimes you don't know at the time, does that make sense , but she has pointed us in the right direction

[glitteryb6]

thanks, the only thing i can think of is direct payments! i'm hoping mine is really nice and offers loads of help!

[VJaybigpants]

I'm sure she will, and good luck

[glitteryb6]

ta!

[lourobert]

worth requesting an assessment in my opinion!! It is the only way to access respite whether this be overnight or just a few hours a week..it can open doors and opportunities !?

[meltedmarsbars]

Well worth getting on to the sw's books.

SW's can get you respite, direct payments, home-carers and can also get summer playschemes organised for you (might be a bit late for this year). They also organise grants for home alterations - for us they did ramps, handrails,bathroom and bedroom alterations, ceiling hoist...

Definately worth it. And don't put on an act when she comes. Mine has seen me in tears saying dreadful things about my dd2.

[PheasantPlucker]

SWs are kind of a neccessary evil I think.

Ours has periods of providing breath takingingly terrible service. But did manage to get our respite sorted. Eventually. And has identified a week long summer club for dd1 which SS will pay for.

I don't mean to sound nasty - but we do have a bit of a love'hate relationship with ours!!!

[meltedmarsbars]

In our case any poor service (eg our respite carer is giving up in Sept and so far we have no firm follow-on) is usually due to financial problems or logistics - simply not being able to find or fund for the particular need.

Actually I'd probably not have given as nice an answer 4 years ago. It was awful getting help then.

[donkeyderby]

I find most sw's are there to be an access point/blocking point to a pitifully inadequate selection of services. Some will deliberately withold information so you are kept in the dark about your rights and options and some have a poor grasp of what is out there. It seems you can't get help without them so you have to have one, but be your own social worker and make sure you become well informed.

I have found them to be poor advocates for families and they do dodgy things like taking kids of waiting lists for respite without informing the parents so they can massage the figures to make it look like they are doing a better job. Sorry to be so cynical! Must be a shit job, but the ones who don't speak out are always promoted to the top jobs.

[kerpob]

Many moons ago I used to be a SW and now find myself in the interesting position of needing their services because of having two children with special needs. What I would say is, know what you are entitled to - sites like this really useful as well as other parent support groups in schools etc. Secondly, it is the people who shout the loudest who get the service, so don't forget to keep in contact with them regularly cos they sure won't keep in contact with you! Also be absolutely upfront about what your difficulties are and the kind of help you NEED. Finally, don't worry about the mess your house is in - believe me, things have to get REALLY bad before it will register with a busy SW with a huge a busy caseload. Ours has been able to access direct payments for us and training for our personal assistant as well as helping access a grant for a safe play area. Good luck!

[saintlydamemrsturnip]

They vary. We have recently been assigned a brilliant one DNS she has arranged more in a few weeks than we have had in the last few years.

[izzie123]

You sound just like I did a few months ago. I was really nervous and worried about the intrusion. It is difficult but wasn't nearly as stressful as I thought it was going to be and really worth it. The social worker was very helpful and we are just about to start receiving direct payments for respite care! We are over the moon

[wrinklytum]

We have just got an excellent one.I have 2 dc one with sn and a dp who has long term chronic health condition requiring frequent hospitalisation.SW has provided a home carer who comes and helps if dp in hospital,and is coming in 6 hours on the days i work to help DP care for dd.We also get a carer 3 hours per fortnight for 3 hours so dp and I can have some "couple time".They have also referred to all sorts of useful groups/services.