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Discipline and ASD. Sugggestions.

(13 Posts)
mum2fred Sun 07-Jun-09 15:56:24

I've always taken a bit of hard line with DS1. Face-to-Face warning followed by time-out. Generally this was worked well, wth the threat of 'time-out' normally stopping poor behaviour. Before his dx I could go a week without using time-out. But post-dx, im a bit worried that this hard-line is not taking into considertaion his perspective on the situation. Indeed the time-outs of the past involved him sometimes smacking his head against somethng and I dont want to push him to that now that I understand that he processes thngs differently.

Just wanted to see if people had any ideas that worked well. I'm keen to keep boundries and i think they are important.

Recurring issues include: pouring water out of the bath, pouring water anywhere inappropiate (he's a waterboy!), turning electrical appliances on and off (though have found that covering the lights on the dvd player with tape has stopped that one) and throwing food.

Peachy Sun 07-Jun-09 16:04:09

I think the key is to differentiate between ASD caused behaviours and those caused by general mischief and attention seeking. Anything linked to water by the sounds of it is asd related in an obsession, similarly switching electrical stuff on / off. Throwing food may be related to eating issues with asd causality, or to just mischief. You'd need to suss that one grin.

Time out is OK when appropriately used, doesn't work at all for ds1 and tends to upset ds3 more than anything positive. But certainly, if it works, use it!

Unless he smacks his head- in which case no-no.

Typical asd discipline techniques centrre around ABA (look it up, am no expert!) or working with obsessions- Ds3 only responds to removal of PC priveledges.

A couple of useful books here- as a starter, try 'Don't shoot the dof!' by karen Pryor (looks alike a dog training manual but isn't- was recommended by a SALT on MN), or have a look at FBA (functional behaviour analysis) which i find useful with ds1's behaviours.

HecatesTwopenceworth Sun 07-Jun-09 16:08:38

As with any child. Find something they hate and use it to your advantage. With ds1 it was the hoover. He hated the sound, so if he hit/bit/etc, we'd stick the hoover on.

Neither of my lads much cared if you were pleased or cross with them, or if you took toys away, and timeout was bliss cos they didn't have to engage with you! grin so that sort of thing was useless.

When ds1 was little, I could just plonk him in the playpen and let him throw himself about to his hearts content!

I also found anticipating and deflecting or grabbing them and shifting them helped, but there are times you just can't get there, or something happens so unexpectedly, so the hoover was our backup. As was a wraparound technique, which was good for the, er, wilder moments grin Legs round his legs, arms round his body, pinning his arms, and head tucked into his back - forgot that once and he broke my nose!! ouch.

ds2 was very placid. Just didn't listen or care! But never really did anything (That's coming now!!)

Now we find their behaviour is worse if they haven't had physical exercise, so we get them to run a mile or 2 most days. (we have a treadmill) We can also use it with ds2 as a threat! We're lucky because when we say it's pe he accepts it, but when he's done something or doing something and we say "Treadmill", he stops! He has the 2 things - pe and treadmill - compartmentalised, iyswim, even though he's doing the same thing. Odd little bugger grin

I've always taken the view that it's THIS world they have to live in, so it's the rules and norms of THIS world they have to learn, and while I understand how they think (up to a point!) and why they behave the way they do, that makes no difference, they still have to learn to function as near to the rest of us as possible, if that makes any sense. It's only the way I teach them that, that is any different.

mysonben Sun 07-Jun-09 16:20:00

I have this trouble with how do i discipline ds ...now we know he has ASD it explained a lot of his behaviours so i see that he 'snot naughty on purpose all the time.
My approach is keeping calm , less shouting than before, not going into explainations i know he won't understand but keeping things simple and clear, a simple 'no you don not do this ' is enough ...even if he will do it again 2 mins later grin
I do menace with 'you will get a smack on your bum' showing him a wawing raised hand ( he understand that!) , other threats don't work because he simply doen't get the sense of it all.
When he does something naughty repetively then i try to remove the thing causing the situation , ie :he always go for the dvds {i put them up high on cd rack) i leave nothing i don't want him to touch well out of reach, he loves to open/close doors and shouting at him doesn't work so now i've put door stop things at the top so he can't close them fully so he won't keep pinchind dd (13 months) 's fingers in them,...
Good luck and deep breaths and be patient is my motto.

Peachy Sun 07-Jun-09 16:23:49

Ah Mysonben you have a younger child the same age approx as ds4 then (14 months today)- fun with asd and a toddler isn't it? Like a huge confusing puzzle of who to distract and juggling risk factors LOL

bubblagirl Sun 07-Jun-09 16:31:02

with my ds he is also a water lover have towel on floor in bathroom were ground floor flat and i let him play with water as long as its in the bath not worried about towel getting wet if it goes else where we take away he gets choice play with water over bath or not at all he chooses bath i do this all the time and it has become learnt now

i tend not to use time out but choices work he likes things visual as well we let him choose a task as a treat and if he misbehaves we take the task off the chart we warn 3 times due to understanding we think 3 times is enough then reward comes off chart

but we allow him to win it back with good behaviour and good listening with lots of praise

we pick our battles we find ways round things such as the water he can do it as long as its at that place or he stops

i do find choices work all the time its this or this you do it here or not at all he gets the sense of him making that choice also he likes to be in control

mysonben Sun 07-Jun-09 16:32:03

Peachy- Yes i have indeed, life can be fun at our house with a teenager ds1 , an ASD toddler and a 13 months old dd with a big attitude! grin

bubblagirl Sun 07-Jun-09 16:32:48

i mean in the bath being i have a plastic stool sitting in there and he likes to fill the cup and pour it out he used to pour it all round bathroom until i found the stool made a good table so he could stand beside bath and play

bubblagirl Sun 07-Jun-09 16:36:00

also when his in the bath we have the stool like a table and different water things cups squirters etc the minute he plays up and doesn't listen if water goes outside the bath he gets 3 warnings then out after few times of doing this he has learnt not to with warnings still but he does stop as he knows i'll take him out

throwing food ds goes through these phases at times i make him pick food up but tend not to make issues at meal times i ignore what i can and then after i make him pick it up

Peachy Sun 07-Jun-09 19:11:08

One thing yu might find mum2fred is that your ds is like none of the kids here. I ahve 2 with asd (ds1 HFA /AS, ds2 dysprasxia & adhd suspected, ds3 asd fairly severely, ds4 ?) and my asd duo are in so many ways opposites- ds1 is extremely aggressive (i'm talking referral to psychocis clinic), but verbal (though chooses to communicate in his own langauge of mainly cheesy, no way jose and a sorta noicse that means yes at school)- ds3 is minimally verbal, has got LD, very toddler like friendly and cuddly 9though lots of sensory stuff, absences etc)

They don't respond to the same things in any whatsoever, and so really you are best set just getting every idea you can, making a list and working through them until you ht the big one.

bubblagirl Sun 07-Jun-09 19:14:59

i agree i took lots of advise from herfe and also sat back watching ds and his reactions to what im doing to know if he'd cope or not

i say also what works for some of us wont for others but it doesn't hurt to try different things and i've had great support and advise and even if it doesn't work its nice to know you have someone to talk to and listen and be kind enough to offer advise

i have learned to walk away though and to not argue and allow him to calm himself down instead of me trying to calm him down too many words and me nearby too long drives him mad calms much better left alone

ABitStretched Sun 07-Jun-09 20:58:37

I have a really specific situation i need help with. I will only punish ds1 (4) for something if I know he knew it was wrong to do it before he did it. He still looses his temper with ds2 (2) at least once a day and causes him real physical harm (biting, screaming in his ear, hard hitting, etc) - should I punish this because he knows it is wrong or just accept he has lost his cool and send him upstairs to cool off?

bubblagirl Sun 07-Jun-09 22:14:13

i would send him away as he may not be being mean to brother on purpose maybe his space has been invaded or he needs time away from him for sensitivity issues he may just struggle with appropriate behaviour and not necessarily knowing his actions are wrong

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