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Why is Amber back?

(22 Posts)
amberlight Sat 30-May-09 12:21:39

Took on too much, had too many bad things happen.
All got on top of me (strange expression, but it felt just like it was a big pile of things on me)
Catastrophic thinking that magnifies everything (typical bl*dy aspie - arrgh)
No way to communicate properly

Tried to solve it like this:

Asked mumsnet if they could help, and they were lovely, which was a help in itself
Lots of people here and in rl were writing/texting/phoning to see if they could work out what to do (which is nice, but also overwhelming)
Spoke to autism team, many communications with those supporting me.
Worked out some strategies:

Prayer (since I have a strong faith). I had to learn how to pray in a way that distracted me from panicky thinking.

Small dog. He's learning to support me (after my other dog, Mrs C, sadly died), so it's helping calm me down better.

DH - he's had one 'all clear' from the hospital and is so much more like he used to be, which is a huge huge strain off me worrying that he was still going to die

Images - I have a startup image on the computer that lets me see how stressed I am. Difficult to explain how it works, but it does. If I'm looking at the "STOP!" thingy on it, I know not to log on.

I keep calming images in front of my computer at all times, so I can look at those every few seconds.

I've dropped one of the big voluntary things I was doing completely.

I'm working part time whenever I feel stressed or panicky.

I'm trying out a new set of potions to see if they help, which I think they are.

I've tried doing some debates to check that it really really wasn't general debate that was setting me off, and it isn't, which is good.

I'm trying to only go onto a few threads, and if anything looks too scary or if I can't work out the social interactions properly that day/time, I'm just avoiding it and doing the pray/look at image/hide under duvet thing until I calm down.

I'm praying that there'll be a quiet bit set up for SN anyway, just in case. But not for me - for everyone if they needed it for a bit.

And I really am sorry that I went off on one. blush

HuffwardlyRudge Sat 30-May-09 12:23:49

Welcome back

2shoes Sat 30-May-09 12:32:24

glad your back and haven't let the nasty stuff make you stay a way.

monstermansmum Sat 30-May-09 15:02:54

Hi Amber-glad youre feeling better about things. welcome back

5inthebed Sat 30-May-09 19:04:17

Welcome back Amber smile

macwoozy Sat 30-May-09 19:41:21

Nice to see you back Ambersmile

busybeingmum Sat 30-May-09 20:11:26

Message withdrawn

Yurtgirl Sat 30-May-09 20:14:59

Welcome back Amber

Yurtgirl Sat 30-May-09 20:14:59

Welcome back Amber

magso Sun 31-May-09 10:29:06

Nice to hear you are back Amber and that your DH has had the all clear.

drlove8 Sun 31-May-09 10:46:52

smile hello Amber

tclanger Sun 31-May-09 11:32:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

amberlight Sun 31-May-09 12:24:35

DH has half an all clear. Heart test results still to go, and we know there's something odd on them because I looked at the charts. (Anyone know how to get a stubborn aspie to agree to get his results privately so he doesn't have to wait until late July for them?!)

Peachy Mon 01-Jun-09 14:18:52

Nice to see you Amber, have been away but good to come back to this.

I've found recently that MN often makes me feel bad about myself so have taken a vicious cut through the topics I can view,msometimes we need to be proactive eh?

HelensMelons Mon 01-Jun-09 15:30:46


Glad you are back and feeling up to posting! You have been missed.

StarlightMcKenzie Mon 01-Jun-09 18:57:45

Message withdrawn

basementbear Mon 01-Jun-09 20:26:55

Hi Amber, nice to see you back smile

Glad you are feeling better and that things are improving for you.

Nyrrem Tue 02-Jun-09 14:08:08

smile Glad to see you here.

morningpaper Tue 02-Jun-09 14:27:13

Hi Amber

Soph73 Tue 02-Jun-09 14:40:48

Lovely to see you back Amber

great to see you back. am glad things have improved for you. i really enjoy reading your posts.

lou031205 Tue 02-Jun-09 21:48:51

Welcome back smile

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