J's best friends family moved into the house next door to us a while ago......was uncomfortable about the whole idea maily because J is quite obsessed with this boy and didnt want the obsession on my doorstep....but I have no control over who does or does not live next door to me!!
Things went swimingly for a while and it was lovely to see J playing with the other boy. His Mom has an excellent understanding of ASD as she has worked with SN chuldren and her Mum works for NAS.
J's friend has a sister who is 11. She is a funny thing....one day all smiles, the next all tears....must be the hormones!!! Over the past few weeks she has been saying not very nice things to J....calling him thick, stupid etc. She excludes J from any games....asks if DS1 can come over to play....then tells J to "BOG OFF" if he follows. DS1 gets really hacked off with it and is always trying to aviod playing with her....but every time he goes out into the garden she appears and the next minute she is in our garden dictating who can and can not play her games.
I have spoken with the Mum and asked her if she can have a quiet word with daughter and explain to her that its not helpful when she calls J such horrid names as it sends him into a full on meltdown and I am getting the "I want to kill myself" talk all over again. Its taken 6 long and very painful months to build my sons confidence and self esteem up....I dont want to watch is all fall apart.
The Mum isnt very sympathtic at the moment and is actually making things a hell of a lot worse...asking if DS1 wants to stay for tea and not letting J into her house. She isnt talking to me either....she owes me money...her son smashed the back of my car and it will cost over £600 to fix...she is on benefits and cant afford to pay for it to be repaired...so I will have to claim through my insurance and watch my premiums soar next year!!! Things are becoming very strained between us.Hubby and other friend have chatted with her and said that her daughter needs to calm down her spiteful comments because she is causing a lot of damage....but its still happening.
Last night the guys were all invited to a friends house to play on their trampoline. My guys went along and I sat watching them all playing really lovely.......then she turned up.....5 mins later all hell broke loose. She had told J he was a thicky and stupid and really annoying and that everyone hates him. I didnt know what had been said....just more concerned that J had done a runner!!! So back home and I was left to sort out one of the biggest meltdowns.
I have been up all night with J...he was talking the wanting to kill himself talk....really crying and hating everyone and everything.
This morning DS1 told me that on his way back home She had said that J is really thick and whats the problem with telling him that he is??? DS1 pointed out that some children have problems...she knows that J is different and that they should be a bit more tollerant....then my angel pointed out to her that she is quite a hefty young bird and she wouldnt like it if someone called her fat!!!!!!! Off she flounced in tears.
This morning at school she walked over to me and said hello...was I OK?
Not really darling because I am very tired because J was awake all night worrying about what you had said to him. It would be lovely if you could all play nicely together. I know J can be a pain in the backside...but he will learn to get along with people better if you could be a bit more patient with him......
She was fine said sorry and went off with her friends....next thing tears!!!!!!
I walked over to her and she was sobbing so much....I asked her what was wrong and she launched a screaming fit at me...teacher came and I explained what had happened...NOW I AM IN THE BAD BOOKS!!!!!! Apparently I called her Fat!!!!!
So how do I deal with this? I cant stop the guys from playing in the garden...I sit out with them and supervise when J is outside. Im tired...my heart is breaking watching J being so upset by other peoples hurtful words...this is really getting to me and its starting to affect all of ours lives far too much.
I know I cant protect J for the rest of his life from being called names...I understand that J is a difficult little bod at the best of times...arghhhhh!!!!!!!! I just want this all to stop!!!!I want this pain I have in my heart to go away....I want to move and live on a dessert island miles away from anyone who can hurt my baby. I wish they would move.....things were going so well until they moved here....the problem is affecting our friendship with another family because they dont want to be stuck in the middle of all this.....Oh I am so unhappy...sorry just need to have a rant and a good moan...just ignore me!!!!
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Tit for Tat - its so painful!!!! Ramblings of a very tired and emotional mother.....excuse me whilst I self indulge in a massive rant!!!!
27 replies
Jayzmummy · 06/05/2005 10:27
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