Toilet training - what do I do?

[woollyboots]

I have been trying to toilet train my 5 year old son for the last few weeks. He has DS and it doesn't seem to be going too well. We have at least 3 accidents a day with some days no successes at all. He now doesn't want to wear the pull up training pants so I feel stuck in the middle with no nappies and no successes in the loo.
Should I put him back in nappies or just persevere? I feel like I have left it too late and so it is harder than it might have been.

[Dingle]

Hi there woollyboots! I seem to be stuck in a rut with my dd ATM. She is 3.5 and also has DS. She does a wee on the toilet or potty 2/3 times a day, but still has wet nappies in between and will not "tell" me she wants to go. I think a long hard, battle is ahead of us!

What do they do/say at school? Have you had any help or advice from anyone?

We have been left with some toileting, social stories today. Haven't tried them out yet, but if you are interested I will give you more info.

[woollyboots]

Hi Dingle, They just say to keep trying. Today he came home from nursery(has just turned 5 and doesn't start school until Aug)with 2 changes of clothes that he had worn and wet. I knew it was going to be more difficult than my other 2 but he seems to have gone so far and is now going backwards.

[woollyboots]

Has anyone else got any ideas?

[Dingle]

I have a general toddler, parenting book here. if you want me to send over a few hints & tips, please feel free to CAT me. TBH I haven't even had a chance to read it myself yet!

Do you feel you could motivate hime with a star chart, stickers or a toy. I blackmail dd into sitting on the potty with her favorite DVD! I also give her a sticker on a chart, but really only because we use a star chart for DS (5, NT).

I feel with DD it is just going to be a case of perservering and sitting her on the potty/toilet every half hour or so when she is at home.
I may well wait for the summer hols now!

[woollyboots]

I know the basics behind toilet training but I feel I am just hitting my head against a brick wall just now. I have tried stickers but this doesn't seem to motivate him. He also wont sit on a potty it has to be the loo. We have a booster seat for him but I think he is too big for this, as when he does a wee, he misses the loo and it goes everywhere. I really feel low about this although I have always known it was going to be hard. Probably why I have left it so long. Dingle, thanks for your help anyway.

[Dingle]

Do you have any help from OT, perhaps they could help advise you regarding toilet seats..etc.

Could you do a favourite activity, while he is on the toilet, something he can associate as a reward for trying. Does he have a favourite character from TV, film you could keep in the toilet to "help."

Sorry, I am not that far yet, I have still got all this to come!

[onlyjoking9329]

its hard work this toileting malarky, we have three kids with autism so have had a few year worth of trying toilet training, we started with my twins they didnt seem to mind being wet as the nappies are so good it soaks the wee up so they dont feel it much, we put pants on them first with a nappy on top so they got to feel wet, i then spent nearly all of the six weeks holiday in the bathroom, for DD1 she had a box of small toys in full view but well out of reach, she was allowed to choose an itm from her box for just sitting on the loo we then moved onto an item for doing a wee then for doing a poo for her twin sister we used sweets, for my DS major thomas fan, we usede our car video player in the bathroom we would only press play when he sat on the loo, the longer he sat the more he watched, this worked very quickly and he was dry within a week, he still has accidents but not often these days, bubbles are a good one if they sit on the toilet you can blow bubbles to them, i suppose it depends on what motivates them really

[Dingle]

Some really good ideas there onlyjoking, thanks. I have loads of bubbles in the kitchen cupboard, so I think it's time to keep some in the toilet and some by the potty!

I'm going to give the knickers under nappy a go tomorrow afternoon and over the weekend. I'll have to check knicker supplies first though!

Good luck wollyboots, keep us up to date how he gets on!

[woollyboots]

Great ideas there, thanks onlyjoking. The only problem with the pants before the nappy is that my son doesn't seem to mind being wet. Do you think this will help?

[Saker]

I have similar problems with ds2 who is 3y9m and not toilet trained. He has poor body sense and I think he hardly notices being wet or dirty. I am not sure he is physically able to achieve it yet but in terms of motivating him I made my own kind of social story by taking photos. It features his older brother in a starring role using the toilet and then ds2 also sitting on the potty (rare event, took some time to get this picture) and plenty of praise for success in the story. He loves the story and is usually motivated to sit on the potty for a few minutes by it. We haven't made much progress though otherwise partly because I haven't been trying very hard (I don't think he's ready) but the story has been successful in getting him motivated so I mention it here.

[heartinthecountry]

wollyboots - I think sinclair who has a dd with DS has posted on here before that it took a LONG time to toilet train her. Sorry, probably not what you want to hear but I guess it might mean perserverance is the key.

Not that I know. Personally, I am completely sticking my head in the sand about this one at the moment (dd is only 2.5). Toilet-training? what's that?

[onlyjoking9329]

have you got bear in the blue house video, i think its called potty time or something similar that would have helped my three as its very visual, my three learn things from videos much easier than me trying to teach them, they all learnt the ABC from tots tv, i think they can be used like early social stories, my lot would lose interest in a book but show them a video and they take it all in.

[Davros]

Certainly sympathise, its all very well knowing all the theory but getting it to happen......
There was a thread a while ago on this, don't know if it contains anything extra but if you Alpha SN and go to "t" it is there still.