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Don't want to do this anymore want to curl up in a little ball.

(9 Posts)
meea Wed 04-May-05 13:06:44

Just had a call from ds2's early years inclusion teacher.He was calling from nursery to let me know that he had been to speak to them about M and that nursery don't have any concerns about him and that he is making excellent progress.
But that I have reported problems but that they don't see them at nursery .In other words they are in my head.
He is going to contact the cp paed and salt to get their input on m but he has no intension of visiting M at nursery or offering any support.
This man has never met my son and never intends to unless nursery contact him to express concerns.
So we are left with nothing I don't know where to start or if I have the strengh to.

Jayzmummy Wed 04-May-05 16:25:33

Sending huge hugs Meea.

Im afraid I have been there and am still wearing the bloody Im not the best one to send out advice apart from saying "YOU KNOW YOUR CHILD BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE".

JakB Wed 04-May-05 17:11:56

Oh Meea, I'm so sorry. Can you talk to the nursery? You could do something radical and take him out and say it's not meeting his needs. I did that with DD, to really underline the fact that she needed other input. AAAAAAHHHHHHH! Sorry, that's probably not very constructive suggesting you take him out of nursery. I've no experience of this exact situation. Hope somebody comes on and helps soon love

KarenThirl Wed 04-May-05 17:15:03

J's first assessment came back negative. They said he was just 'very willful'. Yeah, right. So I stuck to my belief that there was something wrong with him and pursued a second assessment, and now they're investigating properly and have given a provisional dx while they continue the assessment. As JM says, you know your ds best so don't be put off by someone who's only spent an hour with him, just because they happen to have the right letters after their name. Keep going, you'll get the right result in the end.

maddiemo Wed 04-May-05 17:21:12

Could you ask to attend a nursey session? You could then see if there were any concerns that they may not have noticed.

meea Wed 04-May-05 19:19:18

You know what your right I do know me child best so why am I letting these people make me feel like i'm a bad mum.
After I posted I phoned nursery and told them ds2 wouldn't be coming tomorrow.10 minutes later the nursery manager phoned back to see if everything was ok apparently I sounded upset can't imagine why .I told her that i didn't really want to discuss things partly because i couldn't stop crying.I can't believe I did that I must have sounded such an idiot.
So I assured her that ds2 was fine and left it at that.I need to be calm and in control when we discuss ds2's future at her nursery.

JakB Wed 04-May-05 19:33:16

Absolutely, Meea. Good idea to talk to her when you're feeling more together. Think Maddiemo is right- could you go and observe?
Are the nursery messing things up for Ds2 by being too 'positive' or do you think they don't want to go down that route... (ie: getting extra support etc).

meea Wed 04-May-05 19:48:19

Not sure they have never seemed to want extra support for him.
I think the difference between home and nursery is the routine their's is very rigid and the salts visit last week is the first time he has been asked to break from it and he was unable to do it.
I noticed a huge difference in his behaviour yesterday in the morning we went to the doctors something we havn't done for months and I didn't prepare him .When we arrived he went into his shell and sat on my knee in a corner facing away from everyone.Where as in the afternoon we went to see his osteopath but I spent all morning discussing it with him and preparing him and he was like a different child didn't speak but was happy to be touched and sat playing with the homeopath while the osteopath worked on him.
It would be really interesting to see how he coped if they removed the routine or changed it for the day.Can't see them doing that though.

InternationalGirl Wed 04-May-05 20:06:29

Meea - nothing really constructive to say but wanted to send hugs.

I know it can be hard sometimes - we have had some issues with DDs school recently too. Hope things get better for you soon after you have a chance to have a good talk with them.

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