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at long last she is "playing with her toys" but proffesionals complain this is not age appropriate FFS !!!!

(24 Posts)
lynny70 Fri 29-Apr-05 10:55:33

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ghosty Fri 29-Apr-05 11:02:50

lynny70 ...
I don't know anything about SN really but I just wanted to say 'FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!' to the progress your DD is making ...
It sounds awful that they are telling you that none of it is 'age appropriate' and it sounds right to me when you say 'she has to start somewhere' ...
You sound like a fantastic mum and you must be very proud.
Wish I had something more useful to say.

JakB Fri 29-Apr-05 11:05:38

Lynny70, I think that is AMAZING and should be celebrated alongside all the lifeskills input. It IS age-appropriate for her developmental stage so that is wonderful. If my DD ever gets to that stage of independent play I will be absolutely THRILLED. Nobody should judge a person's 'play' as being 'inappopriate'. I am really pleased for you Lynny70- she sounds like an absolute poppet

lynny70 Fri 29-Apr-05 11:08:17

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lynny70 Fri 29-Apr-05 11:10:26

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MandM Fri 29-Apr-05 11:17:37

Lynny70 - Do NOT feel stupid. You have every right, and are in fact completely right, in feeling extremely proud of your dd's achievements. She sounds fantastic, and so do you come to that. Every single new step that any child takes should be praised and celebrated but especially those that our SN children strive so so hard to make.
Now get back to that piano and go and have a sing-a-long with your lovely dd!

lynny70 Fri 29-Apr-05 11:22:24

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heartinthecountry Fri 29-Apr-05 12:18:17

Lynny - when I am at home I going to try and find a post that was written by a man with learning difficulties on another forum I use sometimes. In it he asks parents to let their children play with the things they want to NOT force them to use age-appropriate toys.

You are doing the right thing.

mogwai Fri 29-Apr-05 12:47:02

as an SLT I'll add "bollocks to it" - your daughter should enjoy whatever activity she chooses. I've heard so much politically correct rubbish in my time and it's frustrating when others' agendas dictate to your children.

I used to work with a 15 year old who was autistic and had little expressive communication (or a channel for expression). We set up PECS (picture exchange communication system) which he was really getting the hang of (though costing me a fortune in choccie buttons, admittedly), but I was prevented from seeing him because the class teacher wouldn't let him miss his french lesson, where he was present in body and could therefore be described as having had "access" to the national curriculum, FFS.

Same issue - what was the point? Food Technology? he smeared it on the walls. Problem with professionals is they try to make your children into something they aren't. It's all part of "normalisation" - making SEN kids more like us and less like themselves. Pisses me off. I have to say, the whole mainstreaming issue appears to me to be futher attempts at normalisation, what was so wrong with catering for SEN kids in SEN schools where they could thrive?

Sorry, this turned into a right old rant

Fio2 Fri 29-Apr-05 12:59:05

gosh this is so stupid. i went to my daughters schools easter bonnet parade and they had a raffle, bear in mind the age range at the school is 4-16 and all the toys for the kids were baby toddler toys. It is ridiculoyus to give a child with severe learning delays a toy they would have no comprehension of. I really feel angry on your behalf lynny

coppertop Fri 29-Apr-05 13:35:02

I'd be absolutely THRILLED that she was playing at all! What do they expect her to be doing FFS?? She needs to start at the beginning before she can move on to the more complex stuff if she's ready. I'd be angry in your position too, Lynny.

Blu Fri 29-Apr-05 13:59:16

Ooooh, Lynny - I hope you are giving yourself a big pat on the back - you must be so proud of your daughter and her new found enjoyment of new stimulii.

As far as I can see, play is something that is enjoyable, and prsents a fun-level of challenge. if that is what your daughter gets out of her shape sorter etc, I can't begin to see what is wrong with that! If she can develop confidence and dexterity, and enjoys herself, what on earth is the problem?

You can introduce things with a teenage-feel all the time, and discover things that she responds to and enjoys as you go along!

KarenThirl Fri 29-Apr-05 14:35:57

What, do they expect her to suddenly start doing 1000 piece jigsaws or something? Don't let them take away your pride in what your dd is achieving. She sounds like she's doing great, and what's more she's happy with what she is achieving, so sod 'em all, I say.

WestCountryLass Fri 29-Apr-05 14:46:40

I don't think youa re wrong, sheesh so long as she is happy and having fun where's the harm in it?????

pixel Fri 29-Apr-05 15:05:38

I think it's great that she's enjoying learning new things. Surely it all helps to build her appetite for learning more and more? As her mum you know what a big step forward this is, don't let them take the shine off it for you.

lynny70 Fri 29-Apr-05 18:15:38

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aloha Fri 29-Apr-05 18:25:30

I'm horrified Lynny70. Yes, she's a teenager if you just look at the calendar, but she isn't like other teenagers and that's not possible for her. Why are they trying to force her into a role that she will never be able to fit into? Why not let her be, as others have said, her developmental age. Surely getting pleasure out of life and giving pleasure to others is what we are all here for, whatever our age, our sex, our stage of mental development. It's the whole point of being on this earth, isn't it? Asking your daughter to be a conventional teenager is like asking my 11 week old daughter to read books. I can't believe it. I am so happy for you that she is saying I love you and holding your hand. How can that be wrong? I shall be delighted if my teenage kids want to kiss me and hold my hand....and I WON'T think it is inappropriate either.

coppertop Fri 29-Apr-05 21:26:00

Awww! What a fantastic feeling it must be to get those kisses and bye-byes after all these years. Don't let those thoughtless, and frankly clueless, people spoil your enjoyment of that. Your dd sounds so gorgeous even from just reading your posts on here.

suedonim Fri 29-Apr-05 21:28:38

I don't know much about SN, Lynny70, but your description of your daughter is so lovely. Why shouldn't your dd do things that give her pleasure?

Which of us adults doesn't enjoy 'playing' from time to time? I was whooping like a child today when I found a load of craft goodies. Plenty of men (mainly, ime!) like playing with train sets and scalectrix. When I had a late baby you couldn't move in our house for teenagers who came to play with rattles and activity centres and lego and Wendy Houses. Playing's fun and I hope your dd is having fun, too!

Thomcat Fri 29-Apr-05 21:35:17

So on your behlaf, FFS, what the .....
As someone pointed out it is age appropriate for her developmental age. Why the hell can't they see that. It's as obvious as the nose on hern face that she has to start somewhere. Do they expect her to go from nothing to riding a bike and doing 100 piece jigsaw puzzles?! Agggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Stupid, stupid, blind, ignorant, so called professionals, jesus, how scary! I'm gobsmacked. Of course she's going to play with toddle type toys!

Ohhh, need to stop ranting and tell you how pleased I am that she has made this progress, well done you, and well done you DD.

Merlot Sat 30-Apr-05 10:04:11

First of ally lynny70 - well done to your dd -it sounds like great news to me

Secondly, I am at the attitude you have received from the professionals.

We've just come back from BIBIC and they did a profile of my ds2 who is 19months. It showed quite patchy development and they put quite a lot of importance on trying to fill in the gaps that are there (even if they are in the 3-6mths stage, for example).

So would have thought your professionals would have rejoiced that your dd is showing a new skill, whatever that may be.

lynny70 Sat 30-Apr-05 14:41:55

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Davros Mon 02-May-05 22:19:14

Sorry, haven't read the whole thread but had to post as I hate this fixation on "age appropriate". Playing with her toys is fantistic. My DS's biggest problem is that he can't occupy his time which leads to all sorts of other behaviours. I just don't understand why people get this thing about age appropriate, at DS's school they've started saying "cool" and "uncool" which means nothing to him (or me, ha ha!). I could go on..... you just let youself be pleased with her progress.

mizmiz Wed 04-May-05 18:31:07

Lynny, normalisation/social role valorisation makes sense in the context of what happened in the past.
When I started working in the field of LD about 13 years ago, I was told that my lack of experience was a distinct advantage as I would not have to be 'retrained' so to speak.
In those days,we all had to attend a 2 day normalisation course to examine the history and culture of LD in the bad old days. I was horrified, and in that context, it really made sense.

Unfortunately, as often happens,people with,to put it nicely,not much imagination or vision take this principle and apply it rigidly, without thinking it through.
I wonder who exactly is 'tut tutting' you? (Bet I can guess though!)

You may not know that am a salt, and let me tell you, your daughter's actions are really encouraging and mark a big step forward. If I was working with your family, I would be as thrilled as you!
Smile and ignore.....

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