Anyone else want to moan about how hard it is with their dc?

[Blossomhill]

I have just had it today really. Sick to death of all the hard work that goes with parenting dd. She is just so challenging and it's getting harder as she gets older. I kow it's not usually the done thing here but honestly I really do feel like I have had enough

[TotalChaos]

((Blossomhill)). I really think we all have those had it up to here moments. You know where I am on fb to have a chat/rant. I'm getting fed up of seeing bright 2 year olds who can speak in such a "natural" way by comparison to DS.

[MannyMoeAndJack]

I sympathise, it's not easy, we all know it. How old is your dd? Do you get any respite care or outside help with your dd? Have you spoken to SS yet....although they don't have the best reputation in the world, they will offer you all sorts of help if they truly think that you've had enough but true.

It's all about one day at a time with SN kids, which is why respite care is so important because it gives you a bit of breathing space and some time to recover.

[stillenacht]

((hugs))

[Blossomhill]

Thanks everyone you are such a lovely bunch xxxx. My dd is 9 and has AS and ADHD so makes it more complicated but I feel such a crap parent tbh and today I just felt like if this is it not sure how much more I can take. She pinched me so hard when I brushed her hair today. Everything we do/try and do is a battle. I have had it up to here and the only thing keeping me going if I am honest is hopefully that she will get into a specialist school. Even on a high level of meds she is still hyperactive and I don't know what to do.
Manny I really do need a break I know and I feel awful. Funnily enough I had a chat as we are going to Bibic soon and they are building a new respite centre where children can go for up to a week so that sounds promising. I do get dp's but use them more for activites like sn cubs and horseriding (couldn't afford to pay for it myself).
I know you are all going through it too so sorry for self pitying. If anyone wants a shoulder I am here .....

[MannyMoeAndJack]

Why do you feel awful about wanting a break? It's a natural response to a stressful situation. Your dd will benefit from having a new environment, people and experiences and you will benefit from having a chance to take stock, tidy up (!) and just be.

The respite centre sounds great, just what you need. Good luck with getting your dd into a specialist school; I don't envy you the battle but fingers crossed for the outcome.

[PheasantPlucker]

My dh has just walked in from work and decared 'God, it's bloody relentless isn't it?'.

Hope you are OK Blossomhill. And everyone.

[Blossomhill]

Thanks Manny. I think I do really need a break and I have just remembered she is going camping for 2 nights with the fab sn cubs she goes too. How did I forget that??? So may see if mum can have ds and have a day or 2 if I can.
Thanks PP. Dh is the same, I look at people without sn kids and think god if only. They just dont get how simple things are so hard.
Take for example tonight dh is taking ds and his friend to see a football match. I know a lot of people who are going as whole families but if I take dd it won't be a relaxing experience it will just be so stressful so can't go I need to stop whining (slap)

[Phoenix4725]

im to feel like theres never enough hrs in my day and just found out i am meant to spend my time keeping me house like something out good housekeeper

[Blossomhill]

I have to make you all laugh now we have a 12 week old puppy and serioulsly the puppy has better social skills than dd I am actually amazed at how interactive the puppy is and wants to play and generally just be with us. It's so weird to explain it but I know what I mean lol

Tclanger ~ We are with CAMHS thankfully but they only have limited appts so can only do so much iykwim. It is that lump in the throat when I see other girls her age and see how miles ahead they are of dd and knowing that they never include dd in anything For some strange reason I thought by now things would be better ?? Mad ey?

[Saint2shoes]

oh blossom I know.sometimes I could ring up madge.
I think it does get harder as they get older in some ways.
I do hope you get a break soon

[Blossomhill]

phoenix ~ i'm like that and it's hard because unfortunately I don't have a child that has to everything just so, oh no quite the opposite she is so messy and last decided to stuff toilet paper down the sink and drip nail polish on my cream carpet (we ll it was about 4 yrs ago when it was laid).
It's also the sensory diet I am meant to be doing and can't do it everyday as dd won't and doesn't often want to co-operate and then you have the whole guilt thing because you know it would help loads but what can you do???
At the moment am tied up with puppy who we got for dd as meant to be great with kids like dd but unfortunately she's petrified of him

[Phoenix4725]

oh no not my son wnats it so so its the childrens disablity social services team lol my ds would live in chaos hell we do normally

[Blossomhill]

2shoes who is Madge???? I think I am tired of trying to make everything right for dd really and I can't, if that makes sense. I think you're right 2shoes as the gap widens with their peers.

Thanks again for all of your lovely supportive comments, it really does mean a lot. It's strange as I have lots of friends and family but I do feel really alone with this sometimes

[Blossomhill]

phoenic the cwdt want your house tidy?

[Phoenix4725]

but yes i do have days when i see the other t kids running talking at nursery and my ds is just playing on is own
its become more obvious now hes older he stands out but then hes not as badly affected as some of your dc

[Blossomhill]

see with my dd it's got worse as she's got older and I don't think puberty helps and she has gone through it early (just my luck)

It is heart wrenching I know Phoenix I remember it very well with dd

[TotalChaos]

as they get older, the social demands seem to increase and increase, when the language is behind in the first place, it feels like your child has to run to stay still, never mind catching up. at the moment I'm quite troubled as on formal assessment last autumn DS hit normal range on various measures, which I feel gives school and NHS the perfect excuse to sweep his needs under the carpet. Obviously it's a good thing his sentence length etc has improved, but there's so much more to successful communication and socialising than being able to look at a picture and say the girl has broken a window, or what will happen next.

blossomhill - madge is Madonna

[NK253624b6X11aeb19d0e3]

Hello
I have never posted on mumsnet before (and a tad scared as I really don't know all the accronyms!) but.....just wanted to say thank you, thank you for talking about stuff that I only dare to utter. My son (sorry, ds!) is 7 and has a really rare metabolic condition (ahout 8 known cases in the whole world I kid you not). To cut a really long story short he has global development delay - can walk and talk but has moderate to severe learning difficulties (and behavioural issues so can well relate to all your messages - I really can). The condition means no glucose to the brain and only alternative source are ketones. These can only be produced by a mega-high fat diet (80% fat and everything weighed - complete nightmare) but no seizures from 2nd day on diet (Ketogenic diet) and no meds anymore. Been on it now 3 years. It really does work, so I shouldn't moan.......!

Basically what I wanted to say is that I am part of a Yahoo discussion group for parents of children with the condition - worldwide and no-one has a moan and refer to their children as 'little treasures'! Drives me bonkers. So thank you - my life can be so shit sometimes (and I know lots of people have shit lives for some reason or another) but I just feel I am supposed to just get on with it and smile through.
Sorry so very long - just wanted to say hello and I love you all!!

[saintlydamemrsturnip]

A good SW can make all the difference. For the last 5 years we haven't really had one (duty, plus SW assistant), but we have just been assigned to one, and OMG she is brilliant. She is asking for overnight respite once a week for us (I doubt we'll get that, but we should get something) on top of current dp's. She's into prevention rather than having to pick up pieces after a crisis.

I don't think I've ever said anything good about SS before (not after the 2 years of hell for a simple DFG) but they are worth hassling until you get someone good who at least tries to deliver.

[TotalChaos]

how very refreshing mrst to hear of a professional interested in prevention!