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dd started hitting out quite a lot - advice?

(8 Posts)
heartinthecountry Sat 23-Apr-05 19:59:15

Dd (2.5 and learning disabled) has started hitting out and pushing away quite a lot. Especially when she is frustrated. I am trying to just totally ignore it, not even say 'no' but not sure that is the right thing to do.

Also it is hard to ignore it completely when she is pushing the dog, who, if she pushes hard enough, might turn round and nip her. Or, as happened the other day, when she hit out at my childminder's little boy and I kind of felt I had to acknowledge it for his sake IYSWIM. I mean, if he hit her he would be told off for it and it would seem unfair to him that I didn't tell dd off.

The problem is I really don't think she would understand any kind of explanation of 'that will hurt so and so' or any reasoning why she shouldn't hit. Which is why I'm just trying to ignore.

Any advice?

baka Sat 23-Apr-05 20:00:33

sounds like the right approach. Does she know she's being ignored?

LittleNjataNoMates Sat 23-Apr-05 20:37:04

my eldest autistic ds is a bugger for hitting. With cats I have the attitude if he gets scratched its his own fault and serve him right - wouldn't dare do that with a dog though, I have seen some dog bites where the kid has had half their face ripped off.

But I can usually see when hitting is likely to happen, spot the warning signs, and I try to distract or physically move him away. I also physically restrain him when required. I'm trained in control & restraint so I use these techniques.

I also tell some other kids - my neice for example, if he hits you, hit him back (I know I am going to get told off by you all for that! ) them run to me and I'll protect you!!

He needs to know that if he goes round hitting people, theres a good chance he'll get a smack in the gob! - it's a tough world out there!

He still bashes, but I reckon I stop 70% of them from connecting, one way or another!

So I suppose all I can suggest is watch for the warning signs and try to distract or remove, learn to block! don't be afraid to let her feel the consequences of hitting out (within reason!) and find a punishment if you feel is appropriate - I used to turn on the hoover, cos he HATED the noise!

linnywith2 Sat 23-Apr-05 20:47:06

dont have child with special needs but have worked in the learning disability area for 12 yrs and for the past 5 yrs am working with those with "challenging behaviour"
ignoring is ok if its appropriate and she isnt in any danger.. or anyone else for that matter,
re-direction is pretty effective..
not any harm to let her know that she cannot hit others around her, even if you feel that she doesnt understand
its all trial and error.. keep trying new approaches and see what works best

coppertop Sat 23-Apr-05 21:14:04

If ds2 (2.2yrs) is hitting I usually pick him up and take him out of the room. It works with him as it takes him away from whatever the trigger was.

KarenThirl Sun 24-Apr-05 07:18:39

I'd have thought ignoring would be the right thing to do too, and it's what I've tried to do with ds (6) in the past. However I've recently found that when he has tantrums he needs me there to help him down and ignoring him makes matters worse. Obviously your dd is much younger but perhaps she needs some help to control her inappropriate hitting. Not sure how you'd go about it though, given her age. Sorry, guess that's not much help.

Fio2 Sun 24-Apr-05 10:00:07

we do ignoring and distraction techniques. i do tend to tell her off she hits other children, esp ds as it is unfair to tell him off and not her iykwim

my two are awful with my dogs

Fio2 Sun 24-Apr-05 10:00:40

she slapped me round the face again this morning, crikey it doesnt half hurt and take you by suprise

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