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Calling MrsF - from Chocol8

(12 Posts)
Chocol8 Sun 17-Apr-05 20:53:22

MrsF - you were online last night and I was yacking for nearly 3 hours but felt that as my keyboard is noisy, I couldn't reply to your query about ds's new school.

I have just put ds to bed so have a few minutes:

The first day, I called the office at lunchtime to ask how he was doing (was told I could) and he was "doing fine". When I saw his teacher at the end of the day, she said that no one would have been able to tell he was the new boy in the class....

The second day in and she told me he had made loads of new friends and they all thought he was great. The boys in his class all think he is a hero....?

The third day, he was saying he wanted to come back to school again really quickly as he loves it so much. Was told by my friend's child who is in his class that he was going upto the Year 6 boys and asking if they wanted to fight him! I asked him about it and he said "I'm only playing mummy!" (silly me for worrying!)

The fourth day and he came out of school limping and COVERED in mud (new school uniform and shoes - buggered). It was an accident though and he was more upset that I would shout at him for getting SOOOO dirty, which I didn't (although I still have to tackle his shoes tonight and they look like they belong to Shrek).

His teacher said he has had a great first week but they had noticed that there was a need for supervision at lunchtime as there were a few problems but to let him settle in for a fortnight and then meet to discuss.

This has taken the new school 4 days to see this, and 2 years for his old school to admit there is a problem that needs addressing. Amazing.

However, not on a school note, but because I am worried, ds told me last night that he has thoughts when he is at home (more probably when he is upset), that he wants to stick something in his eye - something like a stick or something sharp. I was gobsmacked and told him gently that if he did this it would really hurt and he would have to go to hospital (he is very scared at even the thought of pain). Does anyone have any ideas about this or come across it? He does self harm and has been doing it slightly more at the moment, but he does have a CAMH appt on Friday which is good.

Chocol8 Mon 18-Apr-05 22:11:16

Bumpitibump!

TheRealMrsF Mon 18-Apr-05 22:13:49

only just read thi....glad school seems to be going well...will reply tomorrow.

i've not had the 'self harm' thoghhts bit- will leave that to the others!!

Davros Mon 18-Apr-05 22:15:08

I'm not MrsF but v interested to hear about the new school. Maybe he is just over excited during this first week and the self harm inclination is a way to deal with overwhelming feelings? I think you've done the right thing by what you said to him and at least he told you. Just hope CAMHS appt helps.

Chocol8 Mon 18-Apr-05 22:17:06

Ok MrsF - I'm off to bed soon too - just wanted to say that I got it wrong, it wasn't thoughts, he described it as "a voice in my head that tells me to do it".

Chocol8 Mon 18-Apr-05 22:20:19

Thanks Davros, yes maybe it is a bit of over stimulation - there is such a lot that is different to his old school - but SOOOO much better! He really does love it.

I am lucky that he will confide in me about pretty much everything - he just cannot seem to lie about anything, I think he actually feels bad if he does, bless him. It is a relief and I realise how lucky I am that he will speak to me, if he can put it into words what he is feeling.

dottee Tue 19-Apr-05 12:04:31

Chocky - can you e-mail me again please - I've lost your new address whilst transferring stuff computer to computer. Sent you an e-mail last night but it bounced back.


Dot x x x

TheRealMrsF Tue 19-Apr-05 13:36:49

alex says his brain tells him to do things...always his answer when he has just done something irritating!!!
But as your son is talking about harming himself yiou have to paya bit more attention ...i just tell alex to listen to his brain then dedcide for himself if it's a good idea etc...i feel u can't do that chocs

Chocol8 Tue 19-Apr-05 18:12:19

Dottee - I have just trawled through all my emails to find your address but then realised that I probably wrote to you from my old address.

I will CAT you now and send an email. I am sure I have written your address down but cannot find it...d'oh! Are you ok?

MrsF - yes, I am worried about this latest thing - and wondered if anyone else had experienced it from their children. I will ask at CAMH on Friday and let you know what he thinks/says to do.

Davros Tue 19-Apr-05 22:29:34

A friend of mine's DS has said things like this and talked about taking a knife to his sister. I think it was related to anxiety which he was suffering terribly at the time and a way to get attention and probably other things..... Let us know how the appt goes and how he's doing.

maryz Wed 20-Apr-05 22:51:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheRealMrsF Wed 20-Apr-05 23:11:41

i lost my wrag with tom today...he had hit alex across the knucles with a remote control....and alex almost passed out..... his hand was all floppy and i thought he had broken it......so i absolutely screamed at thomas to get upstairs (totally shouting as i never do...not being 'careful' as he has AS etc)
5 mins later i could here banging...HE was bashing his head against the wall....when i finally got him calmed to stop- he said he did it cos he is useless.

now mater how hard i try...i cannot get him to understand that he must 'adjust' the punch according to who he is fighting ....don't get me wrong- not encouraging fights....but as with many ASD etc he cannot regulate his strength in many aspects....i'm hoping some OT if i can get it may help

ofcourse i told him he is not useless....he just cannot win.....he knows i love him to try and interact with alex (as they are similar)...but alex likes play fighting....and tom always ends up hurting him ...and then feels he shouldn't bother!

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