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do you think the age gap widens when they start School?

(5 Posts)
anniebear Sun 17-Apr-05 20:51:39

Grace(nt) and Ellie(sn) start School in September. Grace going to the local primary and Ellie will continue going to her SN School (will go to Graces part time with a helper)

Since Ellie was ill the gap was huge between them but as she started walking and they play more it has closed very slightly (still huge)

I am worried that when they go to School it will widen even more as Grace starts learning to read and write etc.

And not just the gap between Ellie and Grace but also between Ellie and other children.

Do you think (or have you found)that at this age 4/5 and starting School that the gap does seem to widen even more between SN children and NT?

lou33 Sun 17-Apr-05 21:11:11

was talking to dh about exactly this today, after ds2 got back from his first party. He said all the boys were running about, climbing stuff, going on the bouncy castle etc, and it was v hard for him to watch.

coppertop Sun 17-Apr-05 21:14:48

Ds1 started school in September. In some ways he's actually ahead of most of his classmates. His teacher has commented on how although he is one of the youngest in the class he is probably the most mature. He is also still a fair way ahead with the more academic stuff. I had expected that gap to have narrowed by now but it hasn't yet. In other ways I think the gaps are starting to look a little more obvious. Socially he tries his best but doesn't always succeed. I think the quirks in his language are starting to look more obvious. Not only did he have the disadvantage of starting to speak much later than his classmates but the majority of them are now 5 and well on their way to 6. The mistakes he makes in his language are almost exactly the same as the mistakes made by the children in his class who have English as a second language. It wasn't so noticeable at 3 but stands out more when he is surrounded by 5yr-olds.

I think overall he can still blend in with the rest of the class but I worry about what will happen as he gets older.

KarenThirl Mon 18-Apr-05 07:01:21

Me too, CT. J's coming to the end of his second year and although he's a long way ahead of his peers academically, the gap is ever widening with regard to social skills. The others are learning what's appropriate and what's not behaviourally but J just isn't getting it, so as time goes on he's one of a diminishing few who still can't get it right. And obviously that gap will widen as he moves up the school.

Having said that, there's a huge proportion of girls to boys in J's year and I think that makes a difference, with girls being more keen to 'please teacher' and cooperate in class. Even so, this seems to have rubbed off on the rest of the boys and there are far fewer 'naughty' boys in this year than one would probably expect. Guess who's one of them...

Jayzmummy Mon 18-Apr-05 12:28:18

In my own experience I have found the gap to take a massive leap since J reached the age of 6-7...he is now 9 and when I see the guys he went to school with out and about they seem so much older....J is still "a little boy" and presents as a much younger child...almost as if he stopped at age 5.

I know I shouldnt compare, but when I see J trying to interact with his peers it is so painful. I see where they are at and then it brings it all home to me just how so very far behind J is.

Ds1 has always had a very loving and patient relationship with J.....well they did until last summer. Ds1 is now 11 and he has almost lost his playmate....J wants to play with baby toys and Ds1 isnt interested anymore....he is far to happy playing the latest computer game and really does not want to play cars anymore.

I try my hardest to spend quality time junk modelling or having lots of water/sand play with them both so that I can encourage them to interact in a positive way.....but even now Ds1 is starting to say thats for babies...which of course then starts a massive riot!!!!

I think the hardest part of having a child with SN is when they realise for themselves that they are not the same as everyone else.
J cant play on the PS2...he cant read the instructions...he cant deal with having to be in control of the controllers..but his 6 year old cousin can..and J is now begining to work out for himself that he has a problem that is not going to go away. Thats a toughy!!!!

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