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Very nervous

(7 Posts)
eidsvold Mon 11-Apr-05 03:37:13

Am looking into having someone come to my home to care for dd2 while dd1 and I attend our weekly sn playgroup sessions and her therapy session ( which has changed to a weekly group session - ot, physio and speech all in one!! BUT that is another worry.)

I am sooooo nervous about leaving her with someone. My SIL will be able to help next week - and I trust her implicitly but I am so scared of leaving dd2 in the care of someone else. Unfortunately SIL does not live locally but is visiting next week. As well as that - my mother works and of course dh's family are all in the UK.

I know it is important for dd1 to have my undivided attention - esp at playgroup - activity based and needs a lot of parental input and it has been hard with dd2 - who is getting more active. It will also not be a problem after August when she goes into centre based care and then is part of the drop and go programme.

I am doing the right thing aren't I?!?! No one will think I am amazing if I keep struggling on. Even though it is to help dd1 I cannot get any assistance from SS or disability services. Just nervous at leaving her.

I know I am being silly.

Thanks for reading!!

jayzmummy Mon 11-Apr-05 03:49:02

aww eidsvold I think its only natural that you are feeling nervous about leaving just shows how much you love your dd...good luck with the play group sessions with dd1.

Jimjams Mon 11-Apr-05 07:34:04

Yes you are- and I'm about to try and sort something out for us here today. It's easier for us to find someone to look after ds3 and ds2 rather than d1 so that's what I'm going to do!

anniebear Mon 11-Apr-05 08:14:44

You are doing the right thing.

Any Mum would worry but I think when you have a SN child you worry even more. I worry enough for me and DH!!!

Bet you DD's wil have a lovely time with the person who looks after them!!!

MandM Mon 11-Apr-05 10:19:03


Definitely sounds like you are doing the right thing, and that deep down you know that to be the case, and your worries are perfectly natural.

It sounds as though this arrangement will benefit all of you. You will have the time to concentrate on DD1s therapies witohut the stress of watching DD2. DD1 is going to get your undivided attention for those vital sessions and DD2 is going to enjoy time with someone else who will be able to give her their undivided attention for short periods of time.

Also, you will then be able to enjoy the time that you all spend together even more!

Dingle Mon 11-Apr-05 10:48:42

I struggled with dd's feeding for hour upon hour, just leaving a 2yr old ds, to almost cope by himself. Of course he wasn't alone but I had gone from this ever attentive mummy who joined in with games and read a mummy that used to encourage him to play alone or watch TV. I even had the opportunity of Crossroads coming in when dd was a newborn baby, but like an idiot-I turned it down.
All my friends said, why let a "stranger" help out, we will help, but I didn't want to be seen as a failure.
Looking back now, I would certainly have taken all the help I was offered in those early days. If anything I failed by not letting others help.

I hope it goes well, it will give you that quality,special time you need to spend with your girls individually!

eidsvold Mon 11-Apr-05 12:54:12

I think it may be a moot point - it will cost over $100 a week for someone to look after dd2 for two hours on two mornings. The problem is the agencies I have checked out require a minimum of three hours - so you pay that whether you need three hours!!

We just can't afford that amount.

Have asked disability services for any recommendations - perhaps I can get someone who will just do the two and a bit hours for a little cheaper than the agencies are quoting!!

Will probably just keep getting on as I have been until dd goes to kindy in August and I don't have to stay with her like I do at playgroup.

thanks for not making me feel silly.

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