Yes its me again, I cant think of anything else i've been back from england (live in spain currently) for a week first couple of days were ok having got some tlc from family etc. but one week back and here i am again in a total state about ds and what the futre holds. Have just read hand flapping thread Davros posted things to watch out for it might as well have been a description ds. Mom just phoned briefly to say results from sunderland inconclusive - possibly because ds had been gf for 2 weeks when i did the test. Will get the full report later. Can anyone reassure me that one day this will not be the only thing in my head? when i first became concerned about ds for 1min in the morning when i woke i wouldnt remember my worries now im dreaming about it all aswell. Weights just dropping off too. Should i stay off mn for a bit? I always thought informed was well armed but the more i read the more my head spins. Doesnt help that i cant talk to dh hes been really depressed lately(out of work) and only just getting back on his feet dont want to knock wind out of his sails, and i dont think it would help me to do that to him anyway. Ironic things keep happening too or do i just read too much into everything, physio said shes likely to pretty much discharge ds in the summer - physical development was only cause for concern a year ago. I gave a wry smile and thought to myself wouldnt it have great if that was it, youre free to go ds have a lovely childhood. Mom said photos id had done of ds had arrived lovely one of ds in builders hat and hammer(stupid photographer) all ds can pretend to do is sleep.This is a very self pitying post and i appologise there are alot of sn moms out therwe who have alot more to cope with than me; but i just needed to get a load off, feel sh*ty as ds was sat rocking and over balanced and smacked back of head AGAIN (hate bloody spanish marble floors)and guilty whenever im on here as i should be doing something constructive with him instead of plonking him in front of a video. I really wanted a bundle of kids but i dont think i can ever go through this again.
Ok stopped crying now. Todays questions for the panel. Is it worth getting a crancial tac done in spain if ds is suspected asd - would it show anthing?
Blossomhill if its not an incredibly rude thing to ask how much does BIBIC cost? Havent got alot of money but cant prove it i.e. income support etc. because were out of the country for a year.I so desperately want to come running back to u.k. for family support etc./ but at least here ds is getting SOME help whilst we wait for dx.
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Please tell me i'll learn to cope better in time
8 replies
louismama · 08/04/2005 21:19
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