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Bright little boy with Aspergers - advice please(7 Posts)
A friend's son aged 4 has always been a bright child. He spoke early and socially he seems fine to me. I don't see him that often, but have never ever thought that he was anything other than a happy, bright, normal child - rather like my son who is a couple of days older. In fact I thought (think?) he has the edge (in a positive sense) over my son in many ways.
Anyway, his school noticed a few things about him...interacting with others etc...and suggested he was reviewed. This happened the other day and they have said that he shows every sign of having Aspergers.
What does this mean in practical terms? I am sorry I am really ignorant about these matters. Is he likely to remain intelligent and in the future do well at exams...and maybe be an engineer / Cambridge don (I have been checking out some of the threads here)? Will he have issues with relationships? Will he have a normal life as lead by the majority of people?
I know that I am asking how long is a piece of string, but I would welcome your thoughts. This friend has a lot on her plate and I just want to be able to say the right thing / offer the right kind of support if I can.
I don't think you can give her any concretes right now. Nobody can predict how any child will turn out and every AS child is different from each other too. I would just quote the words of J's psych who says that intelligence will minimise the impact of the ASD and help them to compensate for the innate difficulties that they have. If he's seemed pretty fine to everyone so far, it's likely to be mild ASD which also means that his life should be easier than having a more severe ASD. My dad and sister have AS. My dad is a super-clever technical bod who works with computers and is genius but a little odd socially with a bad temper. My sister is more severely affected in terms of extreme emotions and gets bad depression. But both of them have friends and are able to have relationships. Both are very clever and able to focus really well on things that interest them.
For now, the best thing you can do for your friend is to help her in the practical sense - find local parents' groups, listen to her, have him round to show that he's still the same child.
I have a ds with aspergers.He is 8 and was diagnosed at 6.I can only think of positive things to say:
First of all he has a diagnosis so early that there is so much time to help him learn the things others find instinctive eg playing with others,emotions,body language etc.
In the 2 yrs we have had with our knowledge and understanding our ds has changed so much,thats not to say it will be easy cos it isnt but you can do it.
Second that the school have recognised this and will be working with your friend as a team unlike our school who deny anything is wrong with ds!!!
Thirdly people with as can go on to do great things and will be the ones who change the world,invent new things etc because they see the world in a different way (Bill Gates for eg)
There are some great books out there and loads of support groups and strategies that i know they will be fine.It is a long road ahead but your friend has a very special little boy and she will learn to celebrate his uniqueness. HTH
As someone with an ASD who's married, with a child and a good job and who does her fair share in society, I can say that yes, many of us do manage somehow despite the complete lack of support and help we had when we were younger. And despite the 'hurdles' we face each day. With modern help more readily available, there's every chance that even more people will be able to live a safe, respected and fulfilling life no matter what their level of intelligence.
We don't all go on to be Cambridge Dons, but every child is someone worthy of love and caring. He is who he is - a person, an individual. Be proud to share his life.
Have nothing to add that hasn't alreadybee said. It is such a postive thing that this has been picked up by the school so early.
You are a good friend ...she is lucky to have you
Many thanks to you all for the reassuring messages.
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