My dd1 has just been given a very gloomy diagnosis of Aspergers - should I now statement?

[Wills]

dd1 has just been confirmed as Aspergic by Speech and Language and whereas we'd been worrying that she was borderline and be missed they feel that actually she's quite strongly aspergic. They listed two areas of serious concern being a complete lack of problem solving skills (but very good verbal reasoning) and very socially inept. The reason I've put "gloomy" in the heading is because they felt that because she's very bright she will be in mainstream schooling and because she's a girl she's going to have a very tough time. At the moment she's at a wonderful junior school where they bend over backwards to try and help her yet she still gets extremely depressed. What the hell am I going to do when she goes to senior school and the hormones of puberty start to kick in. Will fighting for a statement be helpful to her?

[hereidrawtheline]

I am sorry I dont know as my DS is only 2.6 (AS - very strongly so) but I wanted to just give you my sympathy you are obviously worried. I hope someone with more helpful information comes along soon.

[Wills]

Thanks. It is worrying me a lot.

[hereidrawtheline]

I can understand. We just want to protect them dont we. I am sure as time goes on I will learn more about ASD and schools but right now I am just beginning. Still I am a gibbering wreck so I can imagine how you must feel!

[TotalChaos]

sorry to hear about the diagnosis - however much you may be expecting it, it's still going to make you feel rotten. technically speaking I'm surprised that SALT would diagnose, rather than just have a strong suspicion - but then procedures do vary all over the country.

I may have got an AS diagnosis had I been a kid these days - my advice is - don't send her to a single sex school - I found the switch from playing tags with lads to people sitting in cliques chatting very hard indeed. I would also look for a high school with lots of lunchtime activities - it's easier to make friends based around a shared activity iyswim.

As DS doesn't have a statement I'm not the best person to advise - but my gut feeling would be yes, even if it's mainly to keep her on the radar of the professionals and flag up to her next school that she will need extra support.

[Wills]

I've just been talking to dh on the phone. He was talking to her last night. She's been having problems with a girl at school that used to be a friend but is now very angry/resentful of her and is getting some of the other children to be nasty to her as well. The school are ontop of it but when he spoke to dd1 last night he suggested that she play with someone else and she said that she'd play on her own instead. It makes me want to cry! She gets depressed because she can't understand why no one wants to be her friend.

[Wills]

Hi TotalChaos, The paed had already stated in his initial diagnosis that he strongly suspected Aspergers but wanted to get confirmation from SALT. SALT have merely said that they support his theory BUT then went on to list all the other bits and there were loads - I've only mentioned the two areas they listed as being of "serious" concern.

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

Wills

I would apply for a Statement now on her behalf. You can make the application personally; if you do this and the LEA say no you can appeal. The school have no such right.

www.ipsea.org.uk have template letters you can use. You will need to write to the Chief Education Officer at your LEA and give them six weeks to reply.

[Marne]

Hi Wills, we got a dx for dd1 (5) in november, like your dd we were expecting to possibly not get a dx as we saw her as borderline, we were given a strong dx of Aspergers due to the way dd1 talks (almost like an adult) and her poor motor skills. At the momment dd is not statemented, she's getting on well at school and the school seem to be great with her (although they lack knowlage of AS). At the momment dd1 seems very happy, we have had a few issues with other children picking on her as she is very sensitive. I also worry about what will happen when she starts high school, at the momment dd has alot of friends but no close friends which may bother her as she gets older.

I find my dd gets on a lot better with the older children at school, we are lucky that she goes to a small school (12 in each class) and the older ones seem to look out for her.

[amber32002]

Wills, yes, apply for that Statement. Find out what support there is locally for her - friends that will be there for her rather than assume that she can interpret all the social signals. We can't. Not a clue.

Is there secondary schooling with any sort of autism provision round you? If not, and it has to be mainstream, look for a school with a caring head teacher, an active SENCO, a quiet room that your dd can go to if she needs it during the day, and preferably one where there are rules and order rather than more 'free-for-all' types of schooling.

She has two great advantages - a) you to fight for her b) knowledge of what she's up against. With those two things, she can do this. Hard work in places, yes, but entirely possible.

[Bricks]

Wills,

My 3 year old son was diagnosed last february and I started the statement process immediately - it will take a little while for you to get exactly what you want. The important thing to think about is the school environment, teachers, school policy, heads approach to diversity and bullying etc.

I received the final statement for my son in October although we are still disputing some sections.

I am more than happy at each stage to let you know what is supposed to happen and things you may need to do.

Tenacity and a sense of humour is required.