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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

OK help me out here

(23 Posts)
Jimjams Fri 08-Apr-05 08:42:48

ds2 has been ill this week- was meant to be in nursery every morning, but only went on Monday. Was going to send him back this morning, but he's woken up very wishy washy post viral tired so I don't really feel I can.

Ds1 will be climbing up the walls (literally). I was looking forward to taking him out somewhere today whilst ds2 was in nursery. He needs to do something but wtf can we do? I can't manage the park with 3 of them (couldn't manage it with 2 of them). I don't want to do our usual drive thing if ds2 is a bit peaky.

OK was wrong about the walls- sounds like he's climbing the piano- better go.

Ideas please as I'm stumped.

flashingnose Fri 08-Apr-05 08:45:32

Is there anyone locally who wouldn't mind ds2 curled up on their sofa for the morning?

motherinferior Fri 08-Apr-05 08:46:15

I think risk the drive. Which is not ideal, I know, but is at least an option you know well. Can you tuck him up with a quilt and some cuddly toys in his seat?

Because I am assuming that any suggestions like 'ring a friend and get them to come along' are going to be greeted with hollow laughter....

motherinferior Fri 08-Apr-05 08:46:51

Oh, that's an option I hadn't thought of FN, vg idea.

Jimjams Fri 08-Apr-05 08:49:45

I only have friends with kids with SN locally (well I have one who doesn't, but she has 4 children) so not really anyone who could have him (also I don't want him to spread anything!). The car thing is because I'm worried he might throw-up.

Can't quite believe I've managed to get through these holidays. Next week I am going to chase up my SW. Bloody ridiculous that we were awarded repite/ holiday help in Jan and still aren't getting it!

flashingnose Fri 08-Apr-05 08:55:07

Would it be worth trying to find a friendly flexible childminder locally (not today, sadly) who might be willing to take ds2 and/or ds3 at short notice in the future? I know respite for ds1 is what you're really after but maybe something like this would help in the short term?

Fio2 Fri 08-Apr-05 08:57:03

can you put a big towel over ds2 in the car?

know what you mean about only friends with sn kids, makes everything much more manic and obv they cant help you

does he watch videos? or play on the computer?

Jimjams Fri 08-Apr-05 09:00:07

ds2 is usually in nursery every morning, - I don't think many childminders want poorly kids!

TBH I've given up on the idea of respite from ds1, I don't think it will be possible to find someone suitable (Davros?? I know you understand where I'm coming from - is it worth persuing- are all your ds's "people" ABA tutors?- had enough trouble finding one down here!). When we finally start getting direct payments I will probably use it for a mother's help type person who can look after the baby/ds2 occasionally and leave me to deal with ds1.

Fio2 Fri 08-Apr-05 09:00:47

do you have volcare by you jimjams?

Fio2 Fri 08-Apr-05 09:02:05

I think you would be suprised actually jimjams, some people do want to look after more difficult children. My friend is a foster carer and she has very severe autistic and disabled children. Just trying to give you hope. i do kwym though

Jimjams Fri 08-Apr-05 09:05:46

ds2 is fine now- upstairs playing, just a bit peaky and ill. Just makes it hard to anywhere. I'm wondering whether to shove him and ds3 in the double buggy and go for a walk. Only place I can think of though is under trees, so not sure ds1 will do it....... (think he might be better now they have leaves).

Fio2 Fri 08-Apr-05 09:06:48

my dd is the same with trees

Jimjams Fri 08-Apr-05 09:12:17

The book I reead by Lucy Blackman was interesting (non verbal autistic). she used to find herself screaming under trees- she said it was because the shadow messed up her depth perception and she would completely lose her bearings basically and not know where the ground was (or where she was in space).

Jimjams Fri 08-Apr-05 09:16:50

It's just finding those people Fio! I find it hard to trust people with him unless they are very experienced with his level of autism- as I find they'll do things like not lock the front door (my dad!! agh!) or take him out by the car and then let go of his hand whilst they open the doors (he's gone!). Or they talk to him in sentences. The only people I trust with him outside school are dh, my mum, his ABA tutor and my friend with an escape artist auti dd. They understand the level of supervision he needs (she says wondering where he is- maybe I should go and check!)

JakB Fri 08-Apr-05 09:26:06

Jimjams, know exactly what you mean about only being able to leave your escape artist autistic child with certain people! (my dd is a total escape artist). Good luck today, love, it's bloody cold too which doesn't bloody help, does it?

Davros Fri 08-Apr-05 11:56:34

I know what you mean too. I have decided recently that more family help works better than someone "doing therapy" with DS. Mind you, he does ABA at school and was doing it at home progressively less intensively until quite recently. I always tell people that he must be safe first and happy second, alhtough both are important. The best thing is to find a sort-of hybrid person! Someone who can manage him (the most difficult part imo), but maybe someone who'd find it more interesting to be able to try teaching him something too, possibly just choice board for leisure activities (ha ha!) or some matching or letters, numbers, colours etc done through art activities. In the summer it could be purely going swimming or to the shops or cafe. AND someone who could learn to babysit them ALL!! I would place less emphasis on pure ABA but if you show them a few things to work on they'll prob take to it. So who are these people???? I suppose all the places you've already tried, colleges, CDC etc.

Davros Fri 08-Apr-05 12:06:34

Also meant to say..... I know I don't have 3 inc baby and puker like you. But I find on these long days, if I think of some tidying, decluttering (you know me) or sorting I have to do, then I can kid myself that we're busy. Then maybe include a little drive to get petrol or post letters, and then some manual cooking like chopping veg for soup and the time seems to go. Some of the activities can interest DS moderately but just getting around the house and having a purpose helps. I'm sure its more to do with ME psychologically though.

flashingnose Fri 08-Apr-05 12:27:16

Have you seen this site here ?

Only mentioning it as I was looking at the childminders in our area last night and a few of them said they specialised in/were particularly interested in SN children (inc. autism). Just a thought.

Jimjams Fri 08-Apr-05 12:49:56

Davros you make a good point tbh. My life woould be sooooo much easier if we decluttered.My house is shocking - really. When we moved here the people moving out left loads of their junk and its taken years to get rid of it. I am doing a car boot sale with my mum soon so piling stuff into boxes. getting there but so slow when I always have at least one child with me (and have done since we moved in here 3 years ago).

Anyway eventually I shoved ds2 and ds3 in the double buggy and pounded the streets. Walked around for about an hour and half- ds1 likes doing that and ds2 and ds3 went to sleep. Funny because Lucy Blackman sorted out a lot of language pounding the streets apparently.

Thanks for the link flashingnose. I was looking recently on there, but not much suitable. Does anyone know whether DP's could be used for a childminder for ds3 (so I would have time with ds1 during hols). I'm assuming not!

Davros Fri 08-Apr-05 12:55:17

YES! You can use DPs for whatever helps the family. My DPs are used for someone to look after DD while I take DS swimming/trampolining. Not saying that you're a messy cow but I just find setting a little, manageable task seems to help ME and I kid myself the children are interested/joining in etc. Have you looked at The Gum Tree? I think its but you could google. On the home page the LAST item is Work Wanted. Lots of people with good experience and/or potential but who think that, because they are travelling, they have to look for a less good job so may be advertising in the child care section when they have teaching or SN experience. Mostly London but UK-wide and growing.

Jimjams Fri 08-Apr-05 12:55:44

actually I am really dozy- just realised goosey might do this sort of stuff. wonder if she can take kiddies ds1's age/be paid with dps?

Jimjams Fri 08-Apr-05 12:59:57

ahh no- under 5's

TheRealMrsF Fri 08-Apr-05 13:44:17

DAVROS.... dis exactly what you said with alex the other day....we were looking for his Sweep puppet start with anyway....then i realised he was small enough to crawl under his bed....well he likes doing that anyway....and got him to get out every tiny bit and bob that i couldn't reach...he loved sorting and didn't tire of being the 'dogsboddy' who ran up and down stairs or from room to room taking things to the correct room.

for him this was more fun than going whilst the other 2 are at thir autism clob alex and i have made scones...and the biscuit dough is 'chilling' in the fridge....he's not happy that we have to wait for it to firm up in the fridge...but have promised him that he will love slicing them into's one of those recipies where you make a 'long sausage of dough' then when chilled slice it into cookies ....he has the best fine motor skills out of the in my wisdome thought this to be more 'taxing' for more fun...than simply rolling dough and pastry cutting it out...... ofcourse NOW i wish we'd just done cookies where he could drop blobs of the mixture on a tray and away they go in the oven!!! (today i was dertermined we do something we don't normally bake!)

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