Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.
When you are sent an appointment for a home visit do you............(31 Posts)
a) Think "YIPPPPPPEEEEEEEEE! I've been waiting for this for soooo long!"
b) Think "B*GGER! What am I going to do with all this clutter while they're here????"
The OT has just sent us an unexpected appointment for a home visit to see ds2 and I'm ashamed to say that I went with option B.
Anyone else dread home visits or am I the only one suffering from clutter overspill?
I am just like you CT-the mere mention of a home visit sends me into panic mode! Clutter everywhere!
We are slowly decorating our house - repairs, painting etc...we are working on the entry and have been for ages. So I got nervous but then decided to have the appt downstairs in the family room and just shut things in the cupboard or the laundry for the time being whilst the OT was here. Upstairs in the entry, hid stuff under a tarp!!
We have clutter overspill whilst we are settling into and still getting the house organised ( almost a year since we arrived!!)
I had our mother and toddler group a couple of weeks ago and just shut the front door with a note saying we were downstairs around the back!! Then just cleaned the toilet and bathroom and shut the other doors to the rest of the rooms upstairs. Not enough time in the day to clean it all.
CT, if you had time to clear away the clutter you'd probably have done it by now. I'd leave it - it's reflection of the way you have to live because of the amount of time you have to spend on family. Don't even apologise for it.
When's the appointment? Good luck with it.
I must admit I don't have much clutter, but then I'm very anal (so says dh).
Half the problem seems to be with toys - ironic really when you consider that my 2 terrors don't actually play with them like NTs do. I put them all upstairs in their bedroom and leave a very small selection down here - then the little so-and-so's drag them all back down the stairs again and put them back in the exact position they were in before. Aaaarrrggghhh!
We also have endless letters, papers etc. I have files to put them in (ds2 empties them out) and even a collection of storage boxes (again ds2 empties them). I really want a filing cabinet to put it all in but it'll be a while before I can sort it all out.
The appointment is next Monday. I've tried the 'keeping all the other doors shut' option before. It was working well until ds1 tried to escape because he wanted to hide from the strangers in his house. He opened the door and everyone got an eyeful of the clutter heaps.
I'm guilty of infusing panic into mum's like yourselves, but please be reassured I honestly never look at the clutter and presume like everyone else that you've hurriedly tidied everything away where I won't be going, (just as I do) and that most mum's have spent the previous day cleaning maniacally (as I do). We're just there to see the child and family not the stain on the cushion that you can't get out ( no sorry that's just me again)
In fact a little confession ladies - I actually got so panicky that the HV would see the stain that I hid the cushion amongst their toys. Thought everything was rosy until my dd held it up and asked "what's this doing here mummy?... oh look lady it's all dirty, see"
LOL! That's just the sort of thing that ds1 would do!
right one to advise here....well....i shan't .....i'll just "join the panic"
Infact i'll go one step better....and state that i have a home visit TOMORROW @ 10am!!!
I't my Mental Health Social Worker...... and she comes usually approx every 3 weeks....but was last here 6 weeks ago....and we've had the builders in since!!!
Thing is i kinda forgot till 11pm.....then realised.....so have set my alarm to make sure i am awake by 8....the boys are quiet usually till 11 ...playing gameboys in bed etc....and i tend to scrape myself out of bed around 10 when there's no school. lazy cow i know..... and thank god for gameboys i say!!!
this panic that she is coming is made far worse by the fact that tonight DH tried to use the PC (namely WORD) to do some work for his employer...and we discovered that what we had been using for the past month or 2 was infact only a 'trial' of word 2003....that tom (DS3) had downloaded for us when our PC crashed at christmas (as we couldn't find the proper WORD installation discs...hidden somwhere in the clutter) So, basically as an emergency (till i found the correct disc) tom got this trial......except....we forgot to look for the proper discs....so we're back to bl**dy square 1!!!!
So.... (as i need to access and ammend some documents too...for the psychologist on friday)...i went in our bedroom and in my usual style tipped everything out of everything and vowed in my search....to throw 'heaps' away....so i got 4 black bags and have only half filled one!
That is what i was up to till 11pm....then came down....without the WORD CD (!!!)....but with an 6 wicker baskets...which i am now going to put as much clutter in in the hope that they look smarter than what is just lying around,...... but first i have to tackle the kitchen which has 'SQUALLER'written in capitals across it!
And yep.... as someone said...this home visit is to see how i am coping...... and coping i am not....and to attempt to allow her to see upstairs (the heart of hoarding land)...which ofcouse i still feel crippled by the thought of anyone seeing it all....so agin i will not feel able to...and she will offer to help sort something,,,,,and i cannot let her help as i am too ashamed.....and the cycle goes on!
In december she helped wrap christmas stocking fillers etc for me....even that was tough allowing help as i am very obsessive about how i wrap things....but she was a star and wrapped as well (if not better) than me....so it really was a help.
[creeps away....realising i have yet again crashed mumsnet with my hoards of writing....but remebers with a great sigh that it was 'only' coppertops thread....phew.....she KNOWS me well!!!]
CT....as you know we had the CP home with us last week for the whole day.....I paniced and cleaned the house from top to bottom. Shoved all I could shove into every empty hiding place.....under the bed was heaving....thank god for valance sheets!!!!!
All was well until hubby took CP on a guide tour of our house.....we have renovated it and CP was interested in how we had done it because it's made of cob. Off they trotted upstairs....that would have been OK if only the CP hadnt paid so much attention to our wardrobes which dh had lovingly made.
He opened my wardrobe to see how hubby had constucted the decorative plinths attached to the doors!!!!!!!
Out fell all the dirty washing....half a dozen pairs of shoes and a deflated blow up doll!!!!!!
Her name is Janice and she sits in a wicker chair in our bedroom!!!! Dh cant part with her.....she is part of the family now.....left over from his stag night!!!!!!!
Talk about embarrassed.....I wanted the floor to open up and swollow me when Dh and the CP bought Janice down to join us!!!!!!!!!!
At least he had a sense of humour
You know reading these posts really does make you realise that all the things I worry about are the same for you and that really helps. Why is it that when we get our one visitor a year they always come when the house is upside down (must have something to do with the fact that it's usually that way)
We live so much by the way we think we should present ourselves to others instead of how we usually are or want to be.
I say let them see the clutter, show them how it is. Saying that I would be running around like a blue arsed fly trying to hide things wherever I could
PMSL at the CP finding a blow-up doll!!!!
It reminds me of an embarrassing visit from ds2's portage worker. We'd been working on pretend play with ds2 and so I'd bought him a set of plastic vegetables to use with his toy cooker etc. If any of you own one of these sets then you will know just how dodgy-looking some of them are. Anyway the portage worker was chatting away when ds2 presented her with a plastic courgette with the end smeared with dried yoghurt!!! It looked so ruuuude! Luckily she saw the rest of the vegetables and realised that were very innocent.
MrsF - How did the home visit go? Have you found the CD yet? I keep putting sstuff in a "safe" place - but then can never remember where the safe place was.
I really miss the visit off DD's portage worker, at least the house got cleaned once a week!!
no......she cancelled at 9.15....can't decide whether i was relieved (as didn't need to keep tidying up) or feeling cheesed off as i was looking forward to her coming as she normally comes in term time and this visit was supposed to be to see the 'kids in action' .
as far as the CD goes....gave up..... purchased a 'back-up' copy on eBay for £4...incl postage....it's 'microsoft office' so as well as Word,we'll get Publisher and others.
I've bought these'back-ups' before....and they work fine....will do nicely untill i find our original !!!!
on the subject of plastic vegetables.....wonder what was going through the designers mind when they made courgettes,salami and corn on the cob!!!!
We don't have a plastic salami (fnarr!) but the corn on the cob looks extremely rude - especially with all the nobbly bits on it.
I hate it when you get yourself all geared up for a visit and then it doesn't happen. Not that I will be too upset if this OT appointment gets cancelled/postponed.
yep- i feel irratated as in 6 months she has cancelled 3 appts..... and i feel that if i didn't have my psychologist appt tomorrow then i would have lost it big time....but ofcourse not to the message bearer on the end of the phine....no my kids would have got the brunt of it.
The proffesionals dont think of the impact their cancelling has- yes i know sickness can't be helped.... but imagine me on friday if when i'm getting ready to take the boys to see their psychologist....and the phone rings and it's cancelled.......in seconds the bubble bursts.
And to be honest (paranoid that i am) i even think things like ..."she realised it was the holidays and changed her mind- as she knows she won't get much done with me if my boys are there"...then the rational part of me says. "she wanted to see how hard i find coping with them"
I'm an SLT and I do lots of home visits. The homes are always freshly tidied and usually smell of furniture polish. It always makes me feel so bad! I'd be exactly the same, but the mums I visit have got enough on their plates without having to clean up cos I'm coming. It's especially hard work when I'm coming once a week for eight weeks!
Funny thing is, the NHS thinks parents prefer home visits to coming to clinic. It's all about taking the service to the parents rather than them having to go out of their way to visit clinic. I always thought this would be more convenient for the mums too, but it's much harder for the therapist because we can't see as many children in a day, we can't have all the equipment we might need in our cars etc.
Just recently I've been doing a fourteen mile round trip once a week to work with a little boy whose attention span is only ten minutes, and that's when he wants to co-operate! I can't help thinking it's not exactly the best use of my limited time, and his mother must be sick of hoovering!
thats interesting- that's why i love it here- get REAL proffesionals telling us things from their point of view.
Totally see what u mean about the equiptment etc.
I 'thought i preffered home visits' cos the professional gets to see the children in their home environment....but i'm going off that now- as if the visit is cancelled (as mine was yesterday) then there is alot of frantic cleaning done ...would say for nothing....but deep down i think it's helpful to me if i have the 'threat of a home visit!!!'
Sometimes i just wish they'd ring to give 30 mins notice- long enough to pick up bits and hoover- but not to do a whole house panic-clean......but spose that is not practical for the visitor as they have to plan their weeks work in advance!!!!
well there's a definite advantage to seeing a child in their home environment to some extent, but I don't need more than one or two visits to be able to work out how they are behaving at home and whether it's different. And I don't need it for all children, though it's especially useful for ASD children.
The problem for me really is those "regular therapy" appointments where it's done for the convenience of the parent. I swear I could see twice as many children - one day last week I spent two hours out of seven in my car between visits. I saw a total of three children all day. In clinic I can see seven or eight.
I dunno, perhaps it really is better for some parents, but I think it dilutes the service a bit, and I do wish they wouldn't clean up so much! I love the idea about a 30 minute warning! But yes, you are right, our diaries have to be planned up to six or eight weeks in advance. The down side of that is that if you are ill, or get called to something urgent, it's almost impossible to reschedule what you had planned to do, cos your diary is already full.
Perhaps I should take a duster and do my bit?
...... i agree..... it's sad but if we all went to clinic then maybe the waiting lists would be shorter....and more kids would get picked up as ASD etc sooner????
And as long as there is the option for parents to choose home visits then no-one loses out!!!
Sounds too simple!!!!
I was given a choice when it was ds2's IDP meeting (which got postponed anyway!) and chose to go to the clinic rather than have a home visit.
I really liked my midwife but it was a relief when the daily postnatal home visits stopped. The mess was bad even by my usual clutter-standards.
I should show this thread to the powers that be! Your truly SEN children would get much more therapy if we didn't have to devote so much time to children who have been plonked in front of the TV and haven't had much language directed at them. The sad thing is, that's exactly the sort of parent who fails to attend appointments and doesn't take on board any of the advice they have been given. What a waste of resources.
It would be great to have the option of home visits, some parents find it genuinely difficult to get to clinic, but if only we ran the health service!
No doubt I'll be furiously hoovering before my HV comes round.
Well, the OT has been. She described our living room as "busy" - and she wasn't referring to ds1 and ds2 rushing about either.
Paranoia started creeping in when she mentioned that she did lots of work for/with SS. I hate home visits.
Join the discussion
Please login first.