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Hair stroking

(10 Posts)
Poshpaws Fri 16-Jan-09 12:24:13

DS2 (3.5, s/l delay) has started to and stroke the hair of a couple of the children at pre-school. Needless to say, this is not making him too popular with them smile.

His key-worker (senco) has started to tell him off gently and he seems to be getting the message. I have been doing the same at home, as he does this to me as well.

Just wanted to hear if anyone had similar behaviour from the children and if they grew out of it.

On the plus side, his other social skills have come on leaps and bounds, as well as his speech.

HelensMelons Fri 16-Jan-09 13:07:40


We don't have hair stroking DS2 (nearly 8) likes poking the other children particularly during circle time. We reinforce at home but it is a bit of an ongoing battle!

Good to hear that your DS2's social skills and speech have come on though - I think it's always heart warming to see improvement.

kettlechip Fri 16-Jan-09 13:44:39

Poshpaws, exactly the same here - same age, same s/l delay, same stroking! I was wondering if I'd started it by encouraging him to stroke his little brother when he was tiny.
I think now ds thinks it's a nice thing to do - which it is if welcome. It's not become a problem yet but I'm just starting to become more conscious of keeping an eye on it. He also likes to give hugs and kisses, which again are lovely but only if welcome!

Poshpaws Fri 16-Jan-09 15:57:26

Thanks for the replies.

Kettelchip, it is a texture thing, I think, with DS2. Key worker says that when they are doing art work with different types of material, he loves to stroke the furry sections.

We have had some success with the 'no hair touching' phrase this afternoon, so hopefully this phase will be short-lived.

5inthebed Fri 16-Jan-09 16:49:03

We dont have hair stroking, we have hair snigging. Cant wait to see how this goes down at his new nursery hmm

Glad to hear his social skills are coming along.

BriocheDoree Fri 16-Jan-09 17:25:59

We have hand holding...but because she's a girl she gets away with it!

Poshpaws Fri 16-Jan-09 17:31:33

Thanks for further replies.

Funnily enough, Brioche, my sister said that about DS2's hair stroking antics. Many girls stroke another's hair, but because he is a boy it seems odder somehow.

However, I do understand how annoying it is as he strokes mine and it is really irritating after a while grin. I am being much firmer about stopping him now though.

kettlechip Fri 16-Jan-09 20:20:55

Poshpaws - I see what you mean - think it's different with ds - I think the reason he does it is to greet or show affection to other children. I don't think it's a texture thing with him but we have an OT appointment coming up so might mention it then just in case I'm missing something.

Could you maybe get your ds a soft toy or something textured that he could hold or stroke instead to satisfy his sensory needs? Don't know if that would be recommended or not..

MIL remembers that BIL (NT) used to be obsessed with satin fabrics and regularly tried to reach into her top to stroke her bra straps until a fair old age! He loved labels too..!

RaggedRobin Fri 16-Jan-09 23:51:27

ds (s/l delay/disorder???)is into hair twirling; grew out of it (only because we cut his hair - he'd turned it into dreadlocks!) and has grown back into it.

he is also a cuff/collar sooker

and he is a mouth stroker - he will gently stroke my mouth if i am telling him off; i think it is a combination of "sorry/shut up" grin

Poshpaws Sat 17-Jan-09 17:19:14

Thanks again for all the responses.

Nice to hear all the other dc's little quirks smile

Kettelchip, he does have a cuddly toy he loves that he has had since a baby and he carries it around at home a lot and uses it as a comforter. Never seems to ask for it when at nursery though and keyworker says that he has only recently started the hair touching thing.

Have had a lot of success with the 'no hair' or 'no hair touching' today and when I ask him what we don't do he says 'no hair/hair touching' so still hoping it's a phase...

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