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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

The future and sharing a smile

(17 Posts)
ThomCat Fri 01-Apr-05 22:05:30

So ... I took Lottie back for another day at the stables. The lesson didn't happen as the woman we were dealing with has left but I arranged more with the owner when her new woman starts.

So instead of the lesson we just hung out, met some of their 100 horses, got to know some of the stable girls and some of the horses etc, (fell in love with an Arab (horse that is)), and had a lovely morning.

Lottie was excited to be around them but not up for getting into stroking them and kissing them but liked it when I did, ahhh bless.

Anyway, the point of this waffle is.... that I suddenly thought, this would be a great thing for L to get into, for her future. If she gets into the whole thing and enjoys being around the horses, then it would be great for her to help out when she older, mucking out etc etc.

I don't do looking into the future, at all really, but today I saw something, a possible job, maybe even a paid one, for my grown up baby and it felt good.

Strange arn't I! But what I'm saying is that for the first time I imagined the future and it was all good.

People have said to me, of having a child with DS, don't you ever get scared/worried about the future and I say no, no I don't get scared or worried and I don't think about what might be.

But today I thought about it, probably for the first time. I imagined my baby as a 30 year old and far from it being a scary image it was happy and positive. And that pleased me.

I know I'm generally quite a positive person, I see things through rose tinted glasses, but sometimes other people and seeing how they see things makes me think I might be kidding myself. But I'm just not able to worry tbh.

I thought perhaps I was blanking the future out or something but today, when I thought about life 20 years down the line in terms of Lottie it was all good.

A long, long, major waffle and I'm not being very articulate but maybe you can see where I'm coming from?

Either way, I'm sharing my {smile] with you.

So, there you go. Feel free to share you smiles with me as well.

The future is bright, the future is

Socci Fri 01-Apr-05 22:18:54

Message withdrawn

MrsEffingFedUpful Fri 01-Apr-05 22:19:29



That feeling you have is priceless- the 'warm fuzzy feeling' as it was once described to me in a story read to us at a parenting group.

There is a young lady who works part time in a charity shop AND at mcDonalds. I sometimes pass her waiting at the bus stop- on her way to college with here files and folders....and i feel that same feeling for her.

I do not know her- yet i feel such pride for her as she has DS and seems to be doing so much with her life!!!

duster Fri 01-Apr-05 22:19:55



Lovely story Thomcat.

You probably know these people, but presumably maybe they employ people with disabilities too? A an old friend's sister, who has some learning difficulties, worked at stables from when she was about 16. Lovely environment for anyone to work in, I reckon.

ThomCat Fri 01-Apr-05 22:57:14

I wasn't aware of them Duster actually so thanks for the link. Lottie is too young for real lessons, they don't accept them in most places till they are 5. This place we go to is relly local, lovley and doing me a favour. Have registered with the people you linked me to though.

haven Fri 01-Apr-05 22:58:48

i did smile after reading this.....

Christie Fri 01-Apr-05 23:45:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anniebear Sat 02-Apr-05 07:32:06

That was lovely TC!

chatee Sat 02-Apr-05 08:14:00

tc,
have you heard about riding for the disabled?
my dd started aged 3 and goes weekly....it's brilliant physio for her and also an activity that she now loves doing which she is 'the same as everyone else'
may i just sing the praises of all those people that volunteer their time to help our special children...

Hulababy Sat 02-Apr-05 08:17:44

Lovely story TC


There was a teenage with DS at the first school I taught at. She was a lovely girl and was keen to succeed at everything she achieved. When she left school, at 17 or 18 I think it was, she did some acting in Peak Practise, but her main income has come from art. She is a great artist and commissions and sells art all over the country and abroad too.

Pages Sat 02-Apr-05 15:07:37

How lovely to be positive, TC. I seem to be like that most of the time, but have my down moments. I think we help our lovely children more by having a positive attitude, so it's really nice to see you smiling about Lottie. Have read yoor posts before and she seems to bring you so much joy, she must be a wonderful little girl.

Merlot Sat 02-Apr-05 15:40:40



Thanks for sharing your with us. I think it is wonderful that you are so positive - you have a true gift. I, unfortunately, dont find it so easy to be naturally positive - but I wish I did. My heart finds it scary to be too positive, just in case I am disappointed , but my head tells me that negativity is well...just negative!... So good on you ...I love reading your posts...may you be forever sunny natured and may a little of your sunshine rub off on the rest of us

saadia Sat 02-Apr-05 16:01:32

Thank you for such a lovely and heartwarmimg message. With a mother like you I think Lottie is sure to have fun growing up and will surely be able to enjoy life and achieve her potential.

GRMUM Sat 02-Apr-05 16:15:21

As always a really heartwarming post from you Thomcat.I have always thought that on the whole a child's attitude to life reflects the attitude of their parents... Lottie is going to be a real asset to the world I'm sure.

Davros Sat 02-Apr-05 17:59:50

TC, it is great that you are so positive and it sounds like that works for you and Lottie. However, I think for some of us with children who are rather different it is simply not possible and not effective. I think I am a pretty positive person and I also don't think too much about The Future (capital T, capital F!). But I have found that being very involved in the disability/autism/ABA community has really helped us in many ways, not least with finding out about things like Riding for the Disabled which we have been doing for over 2 years now. We've also had to confront the strong possibility of having another child with ASD which means that you have no option but to think at least a bit about the future
An observation I've made before on MN is that I don't think anyone's personality changes because they have a child with disability/SN but it certainly adds stress, worry and practical difficulty so being positive in the first place is certainly better than the opposite.
I've got some friends who talked some years ago about buying and running a kennels for when their DD grows up, to give them somewhere to live and for her to work. A similar sort of idea I suppose.

Dingle Sat 02-Apr-05 21:08:05

Hi TC. Yes, it's great to hear your little stories! They come straight from the heart!

My neighbour has a horse and I took Amelia to the stables a few weeks ago. All the girls at the stables flocked around her and she was parading up and down, holding their hands and leading them back over to the horses, or the chickens, or the goats.
One of the girls threw a carrot across the yard and into the field for the horses. As we stood there chatting, Amelia was waving her arms around frantically, pointing and saying "again,again!"

I keep on meaning to take her back, especially now that the goat have had their kids!

I have heard of a riding group for the diabled, I believe there is one fairly locally to us. I have been told that they take children from 4 and also take siblings, which would be great that they can both do something together!
I kept meaning to chase up some info, but hopefully you have done it for me with that link. Hopefully they are the same people.

Thank you.

Dingle Sat 02-Apr-05 21:09:18

Oh Sorry, my "S" isn't working very well!

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