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"Mummy,That Man Sure Is Fat!!!!"(14 Posts)
Just been to mcDonalds and Alex saw a man and said
"Mummy,That Man Sure Is Fat!!!!"
In a clear audible voice..... amazingly the man appeared not to hear.
Then as we were finishing and i was emptying the rubbiosh off our trays into the bin.....he then said to me
"Why are you looking like that???"
(referring to my 'concentrating look'....!!!)
JaysMum made me think last night when she said that her DH plays Frustration with J....and it has been 'brought to light' how little he really understands etc....and this 'facial' expression bit made me wonder how much Alex does understand as he is yet to be considered as ASD....i have 2 already with an AS dx.......but I believe he is starting to demonstrate a clear discrepancy between his Actual Age (almost 6) and his 'Age Appropriate Understanding' etc.
This remark about the man being fat 'hit me for 6' as until they say something like tghis you just take it for granted they know what is ok to say etc....and then if you have a child with ASD you know they need help in learning to not say exactly what is going through their mind.....and then (as in alex's case) they say or do something which shows they too don't have the 'self control' etc to withold info which may be seen as offensive.
At age 3 people would 'forgive' a child for blurting out things like that....but at 6 it's not taken so well!!!!!
My NT then-3 year old once said in a piercing voice "Mummy! That lady is FAT AND SHE SMELLS!" as the unfortunately fat and smelly lady got onto the bus! I was mortified an studied the floor hard.. without answering. Big mistake.. he just said it again LOUDER!! We got off at the next stop... regardless of the fact that we had only got on one stop before the lady in question!
When I think of these instances, I have a moment (just a moment) of feeling glad that MY Alex can't yet articulate sentences.. as he has no idea what is appropriate and what is not..and nor does he care!!
My most embarrassing moment with ds1 in this respect was when he was on the childrens ward at the hospital a couple of weeks ago. A small cleaning lady walked past his bed (maybe about 4ft 9ish) and ds1 called out "Look, Mummy! That's a very small doctor!"
It wouldn't be as mortifying if he had some kind of volume control but with ds1 it's loud or not at all. He's nearly 5 but seems a lot older.
I won't even go into the time he shouted across a packed Mothercare "Mummy went to the toilet too!" Next thing on my "To Do" list is teach ds1 how to whisper......
Echoing the fat theme, we were standing in a checkout queue recently next to quite a large woman who was holding a box of cakes. Ds, who is also loud, pipes up 'FATTY!'. He has learned this from the Mr Rude book, and uses it at every opportunity, appropriate or not. Unfortunately in this instance it was all too apt. He is only 3, so I suppose people forgive him....but not his mother.
My DS has just discovered that some men go bald - starting with his Grandpa, Max from Tweenies (who doesn't mind when DS shouts "Max has got no hair"), my brother and brother in law and, last week, at church, the priest - "Father John got no hair!"
What can you do?!
My NT DS1, when he was five told one of the Mums at nursery that she was fat and asked her if she had ate too much chocolate! Thankfully she was very good about it (although I was mortified), he only now at age 6 seems to have the understanding that you don't just blurt these things out.
I must be embarassed by my ds nearly everyday in some way for not knowing what is appropriate to say out loud and what to keep in. My ds cannot seem to grasp that he should NOT say everything that enters his mind - he is 7.5 and even today walking along he looked over at a couple walking a dog and said "dog". I have mentioned this plenty of times and say, well, I didn't think it was an elephant! making light of it, or just that I can see it's a dog and there's no need to say it, just think it.
It does concern me greatly as my Mum used to say to my brother (undx AS) that he'd get his "block knocked off" for saying the wrong thing when he was younger.
I (stupidly) took my ds to London today and we went to the loo in McDonalds (too mean to pay another 40p to spend a penny). There were 8 girls in this tiny space, my ds disappeared into the loo and said in a VERY loud voice "poo! what's that smell!!". They all looked shocked and looked at each other and then me...what did I do? Just smiled sweetly and pretended I hadn't heard him.
He is VERY sensitive to smell however, so he always has to mention it - he commented several times on the tube and wouldn't let go of his nose.
Dh was mortified in MacDonalds when DS1 (supported by DS2) pointed very obviously at a young girl (20 / 21?) and shouted 'Look! It's Scary Mary' (from the Phones4U advert, which is an obsession with him.
For the first time ever, I was glad to be paying, as at least I was at the counter.
PUNNET- For a moment there ....i thought YOU were in OUR mcDonalds!!!!!
MrsF - another change of name - are you really effing fed up?
but a bit of humour on here tonight with good old CT and i am feeling a bit better!!
I've also spent an hour 'disguising' the AQ test on the other thread to give to my DH tomorrow....1 version to fill in about himself- and 1 to fill in about me....i've removed all reference to autism...telling him it's a 'personality test'.....just want to see how he scores me really.....but if i asked him to do it as it is on the ineterent he'd start argueing again....
My DH agreed to do test later today (when he gets up after night shift). Let's see, obsessive about technical stuff, almost OCD abount neatness, massive ability with numbers but not letters, unable to read faces an intentions... what do you think?
Walked to Sainburys with DS1 this morning- he pointed at rusty convertible (ie chap at traffic lights could hear) and shouted 'look at the state of that!'. After reassuring myself some chap hadn't spotted me in my morning cheer, and confirming that indeed yes, Sam had shouted it, laughed myself silly coz I had been thinking same thing too.
My DS is five and says things like that.... He even told me that "x has a really fat tummy" and she was 3 feet away !
He has "pushed" a teeanger in the tummy (not hard at all) and said something like "you got a big tummy".... I have now explained to DS that it isn't nice and all... but I think it is not uncommon for 6 years old to do this !
My Rainbows do that all the time- Don't like your hair colour', 'I don't like you (thanks then)', etc. Funny though!
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