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I need this to stop, but not sure if I'm being cruel

(13 Posts)
5inthebed Sat 10-Jan-09 22:29:24

DS2 has autism, and his "comfort" zone happens to be me, or more so my breasts. He is 3 now, and it does look a bit rude when we are out in public, and he comes up to have a sniff of them when he is in an uncomfortable situation or he has a feel of them. He will even speak to them at some point during the day.
I've tried several ways on getting him to stop this, the ltest (I hate to admit) is to tell him off and not let him near me if he attempts to try feel me up blush.
I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing, if me stopping this is affecting his sleeping, as he is now turning lights on and escaping out his room, and if its affecting him more than I dread to think.
He was breastfed for a short while, not long enough for him to remember anyway.
Anyone got any suggestions? I know children, and adults, with autism dont know social boundries, and I'm hoping this is just part of it.

josey Sat 10-Jan-09 22:46:27

No idea, difficult one. Would he respond to you giving him a small teddy or cloth, that before you give him you (i dont know sleep with so it smells of you 1st) and say to him its his specially Mummy boobie for outside/bed???

I shall skuttle away and shut up I thinkblush

5inthebed Sat 10-Jan-09 22:49:11

Hmmm, not sure that would work, as he has been known to feel my sisters boobs as well, although doesnt sniff them. I think its all to do with the softness of them (they are quite big blush )
My ever helpful husband suggested getting him a pair of inflatable boobs, not sure I could explain those to his SN school though hmm

5inthebed Sat 10-Jan-09 22:49:26

Thanks for the suggestion though.

josey Sat 10-Jan-09 22:56:39

what about one of those soft round squishy pillows then?blush grin you know the ones that kind of form a shape you can get them in cylinder shapes also.....usually on a stall at a shopping centre IYKWIMhmm

I can just see you walking through the playground with a blow up boobie lol!

feelingbetter Sat 10-Jan-09 22:58:14

Would something like this be any good? If it is the 'squashy' sensation he likes?
One of my old bosses kept a breast prosthesis on his desk which he could often be found 'fondling' in times of stress blush. not in a pervy way, I hasten to add, we worked in a field that supplied them.

bullet123 Sat 10-Jan-09 23:30:09

My honest opinion? He is three years old, still a baby really. He wouldn't realise his behaviour was odd even if he was nowhere near the spectrum (I remember reading a post on another site years ago in which a completely typical five year old said he liked his teacher's breasts because they were so comfortable).
Distract him, offer him alternatives, but at this age, whilst embarrassing for you, it's hopefully something he can be veered out of before he's much older.

jennybensmummy Sun 11-Jan-09 06:41:30

maybe try a stress ball? i know this probably wouldnt work but maybe worth a try? he coiuld have a cuddle then have the ball rather than a cuddle then a squeeze!?

Seuss Sun 11-Jan-09 09:46:30

My ds used to have a thing for putting his hand up my shirt but only does it now (aged 8) if we have a cuddle. We have some of those squishy cushions (got ours in Shaws the drapers) and all the kids love them - they are often to be found wearing them as hats! Also what about those cuddly toes where you can take the inside out and warm it up?

5inthebed Sun 11-Jan-09 10:28:20

bullet123 I dont mind him doing this, its other people (including my husband and mother) who seem to think that he shouldnt be doing it anymore. I do think that he is still young enough to do it.

I might try one of those squishy pillows, maybe sew a button on to simulate a nipple LOL

Seuss Sun 11-Jan-09 11:01:54

LOL - We have a pink one that would be ideal!

bullet123 Sun 11-Jan-09 11:12:54

The cushion might help. Ds1 sometimes tries to feel my breasts, I just gently move his hand away.

Lovesdogsandcats Sun 11-Jan-09 16:25:38

Can I just say that I have seen kids in the past at playgroups etc, doing this kind of thing and I personally would not look twice if I saw your son doing it, especially at 3, he is still really only a baby! Now if he was 15, it might be a bit different!

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