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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.


(27 Posts)
APPLE68 Mon 28-Mar-05 18:35:19

Hello, I'm new and there are so many posts on here relivent to my situation that I didn't know where to start so I thought I'd start by saying 'HI'

My name is Amanda and I have two boys with special needs. The eldest is nearly 15 and has autism and PDA and my youngest is 13 and has Aspergers, adhd and a few other comunication problems that seem to keep crawling out of the woodwork.

One in special school, one in mainstream.

Am I the only one who thinks that there is even less support out there for people who go on to have a second child who them receives a diagnosis. It's as if they assume that because we've done it once we are experts and can cope with anything else that is thrown at us. Not true. Once can be passed off as a fluke, twice feels like a sentence and also the fact that they both have conditions on the spectrum doesn't mean they are the same, actually mine are the opposite and therein lies my biggest problem.
One likes to touch, the other hates it. One likes noise the other likes quiet. One craves people around him the pther wants to hide away all day.
If they were similar life would be so much easier eh?!

Anyway, just thought I'd say hello.

MrsFROSTgetful Mon 28-Mar-05 19:02:36

Hello Apple

I know exactly what you mean- was actually told by the paed that she didn't see the point of refering me for the 'Info service' offered to the 'newly diagnosed' when she dx'd my 2nd son with AS
Like you my 2 are as different as can be- both having AS...both so different!
I also have a younger son- who seems like my eldest was at 5/ reckon we are en-route for a dx of ADHD/AS for him too.

They are called Alex (nearly 6)
Leigh (8 and a half)
& Tom age 11

Additionally...there's me Sharon (probably un-dx'd AS/ADHD)..........and DH who is surely he id hard to live with and has one son from his 1st marriage with AS too!!

Welcome.... we are a friendly lot on you probably know!

APPLE68 Mon 28-Mar-05 19:09:03

Thanks Sharon. I often think I have deep autistic traits too as well as a few dozen OCD's.

Thanks for the welcome.

Chocol8 Mon 28-Mar-05 19:22:25

Hi Apple - just wanted to say hello and welcome - MrsF (hellooooo MrsF) is lovely and full of information and interesting thread titles - which you will learn to love like I do. We are indeed a friendly bunch!

I have a ds of 7.5 with ADHD and Aspergers so know what you're talking about. I have just changed his school as the resources and help there were abysmal. He starts after Easter and we both can't wait.

Welcome to Mumsnet, I hope you enjoy it here as much as I do. Where abouts are you by the way?

APPLE68 Mon 28-Mar-05 19:39:01

I'm in Nottingham.

Potty1 Mon 28-Mar-05 19:48:49

Hi Apple. Welcome. I have a ds (16), ds2 (13) and a dd, whose 11. My dd has congenital heart disease and a leg length discrepancy. They are a lovely supportive bunch here at Mumsnet, but especially on the SN board. I don't post a whole lot but I'm a serial lurker

Can't imagine teenagerhood and autism/aspergers combined.......teenagers are a breed apart at the best of times lol.

APPLE68 Mon 28-Mar-05 19:59:32

Yes they are and the hardest part is trying to work out what's the autism, whats being a teenager and whats a bit of both, they're still kids after all and the hormones go crazy just the same. My eldest is quite violent and he has a room downstairs to try and create a safe space for the other two upstairs, doesn't always work though.
The holidays have been great fun, I'll be glad to get back into their more usual routines.

Jaysmum Mon 28-Mar-05 20:26:00

Hi Apple.....Im mom to J who is having his assessment on wednesday of this nervous......possible dx will be High Functioning Autism.....after years believing J has Aspergers I have learnt that it is highly unlikely he will be dx with it because he has a dx of Semantic- Pragmatic disorder and a dx of Aspergers can not be given if there has been a language delay.....
Also Mom to R, 11 and NT....although he has his dizzy blonde moments and makes me wonder whether he may not have some traits associated with Dyspraxia.
Married to Big R for the past 15 years (anniverasry on Thursday) and are living in the sunny SW.
Look forward to meeting up with you here at MN where I am sure you'll fit in just nicely.

coppertop Mon 28-Mar-05 20:34:29

Welcome to the SN board, Apple.

I have 2 boys. One is 4yrs old and has a dx of HFA. The other is 2yrs and with a preliminary dx of HFA. I know what you mean about how two brothers on the spectrum can be complete opposites. In many ways my 2 boys are completely different. One hates wearing clothes while the other is indifferent to what he's wearing. One has delayed fine motor skills while the other is a little too good with his hands. Some methods work well for one but are a disaster for the other. Eeek!

Socci Mon 28-Mar-05 20:45:10

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RnB Mon 28-Mar-05 21:10:33

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MrsFROSTgetful Mon 28-Mar-05 21:23:49

recomment books published by JESSICA KINGSLEY Publishing.....loads of AS etc and many aimed at teenagers.

My favourite is called :Social Awareness Skills for Children by Márianna Csóti

its on this page:

eidsvold Mon 28-Mar-05 23:34:51

Hiya Apple - I have a little girl who is 3 in August. SHe has downs syndrome. I also have another dd who is 4 1/2 months old.


APPLE68 Tue 29-Mar-05 08:52:35

Thanks for the book ideas, I have loads on my shelves here and am always on the lookout for more. I think one of the most helpful things I ever did was to go listen to Wendy Lawson talk about her life with autism. I saw her at a conference and then after at the local hospital where she was willing to answer parents questions. Being able to ask questions from someone with the same condition as my sons but who was able to talk openly about the world she lives in was amazing. She was able to tell me things like the fact for my son physical touch can often be painful, despite it being the lightest of touches.
I was also interested in the fact that at different degrees of stress my eldest seems to lose at least one of his senses and she was able to confirm that this was probably happening too.

APPLE68 Tue 29-Mar-05 16:44:58

Here's another site that I use like this, not sure if anyones interested.

APPLE68 Tue 29-Mar-05 16:47:08

This link actually works I think. Sorry about that. P/s any feedback or info about other sites would be appreciated.

APPLE68 Tue 29-Mar-05 16:52:07

The side by side has an underslash after each word that doesn't show here

If this doesn't work I give up.

I did ask if it was ok to add this link and nobody seemed to mind. The site has been running for about a month now and it's not doing too badly but you lot seem really good at this here. There aren't that many sites around that are for people like us are there?

coppertop Tue 29-Mar-05 17:00:47

I'll give it a try but I'm not great with links:


coppertop Tue 29-Mar-05 17:06:26

Hurray! It worked!

I've just registered and will hopefully get a chance to have a proper look later.

coppertop Tue 29-Mar-05 17:10:21

I also use this site:


It's been running for about 18 months or so. Some members are autistic themselves. Others are parents/carers with children of all ages with ASD (including teenagers and adults).

Socci Tue 29-Mar-05 17:26:33

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Davros Tue 29-Mar-05 17:30:44

Hi Apple, welcome to MN especially SN which is particularly cuddly and friendly
I have a 9.5 year old with classic autism (from birth, non-verbal, healthy as an ox, very well physically co-ordinated etc). I also have a sister with Aspgergers and a cousin who has a little boy (younger than mine) with autism similar to my DS. My 8.5 year old niece also seems to have mild dyslexia.
I have a few friends with more than one child on the spectrum, one with twins, and you are right that there seems to be no support for this situation. My friend with auti twins (boy/girl) has her work cut out as they are so different and very much at different stages of the spectrum.

APPLE68 Tue 29-Mar-05 22:00:24

Thanks so much for providing the link coppertop, I was struggling.

ThomCat Tue 29-Mar-05 22:05:05

Hi Apple

Good to 'mmet' you.

I have a 3 yr old girl called Lottie who has Down's syndrome.

Mumsnet is a great site and this section, SN, is incredibly supportive and invaluable.

Welcome and I look forward to 'chatting' to you more.

Merlot Wed 30-Mar-05 00:00:07

Hi Apple

I have two boys - my youngest has global delay with no specific dx (yet). Welcome - I'm sure you'll find this a very warm, supportive environment.

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