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can i pick your brains??

(19 Posts)
Evesmama Thu 24-Mar-05 21:13:38

a friend of mine has a dd 20 months old

she has to rock her to sleep in her arms
she says very few words and mainly makes nasal noises when 'talking' and will stand/sit in a world of her own looking really vacant.
she also becomes inconsolable when she cant have something, or someone wont do what she wants.

am quite concerned about her and wondered if this was 'normal' and just seems worse because my dd has a 3 month advantage on her or does this sound like the start of something??
please accept my apology for my ignorance about this, i just thought someone here would be able to give me some advice??
thank you

Blossomhill Thu 24-Mar-05 21:20:50


The following wouldn't concern me:-

Rocking her to sleep. She is still only little so that wouldn't be a concern IMO

She has very few words. Well again the average amount a 2 year old should have is 6. It is the understanding that is more important. Things such as where are your shoes, get your coat etc. Also non-language communication such as pointing (very important for a child this age) and general sharing knowledge. Showing things of interest, that type of thing.

Becomes inconsolable when she can't get/do what she wants. My children weren't like this but many children do go through the terrible 2's and tantrums at this age are very common.

The things I would be concerned are:-

nasal speech - could be sign of a hearing/speech or language problem

Standing still/looking vacant - is also a worry although could be down to many things.

I would hope it would get picked up at the next check. Does your friend share your concerns?

I would say def. get a hearing test done to rule out something like glue ear as that could be linked to nasal speech.

Let me know how it all goes.

Evesmama Thu 24-Mar-05 21:24:31

asked her if she's had her 18-24 month check and she hasnt, but TBH, (its my SIL really) and i dont think she would appreciate me mentioning it
just both me and dp feel there is 'something' wrong??

Blossomhill Thu 24-Mar-05 21:43:31

When you say "something", are you thinking of anything in particular???

Evesmama Thu 24-Mar-05 21:53:40

forgive me if this is the wrong way of putting this
but she just seems vacant and 'not really with us' at times, almost as if shes much much younger??

Evesmama Thu 24-Mar-05 22:19:15

anyone else to give me any suggestions??

Blossomhill Thu 24-Mar-05 22:22:07

What's her eye contact like?

coppertop Thu 24-Mar-05 22:31:12

I agree with BH. Her non-verbal communication is more important than the amount of words she uses.

When she seems vacant is this a temporary thing that passes after a minute or two or is it something more long-lasting?

Evesmama Thu 24-Mar-05 22:31:40

looking past you, doesnt really look at you?
was stood in front of dp last weekend with her finger pointing to her other hand and stood there for about 3 mins, just vacantly staring at her hand,he picked her up and she stayed like that for 10 mins or so?then a tear rolled down her cheek, but nothing?no crying, talking, moving???

coppertop Thu 24-Mar-05 22:35:02

Possibly some kind of absence? Epilepsy maybe? It's just a guess though as I really know very little about it.

Evesmama Thu 24-Mar-05 22:36:31

? wouldnt know?would she not 'pass out' if that was the case? or do they just go vacant?

coppertop Thu 24-Mar-05 22:41:18

I think it can sometimes be a case of just having vacant episodes but I really have no experience tbh. I looked it up a while ago when ds2 was acting very strangely but he didn't/doesn't have it.

Evesmama Thu 24-Mar-05 22:49:14

mm?got me a bit worried a must say, but dont think sil has 'noticed'? or maybe she has and is'putting it to the back of her mind'? as im sure we'd prefer to and hope it go's away????

Blossomhill Thu 24-Mar-05 22:51:45

How does she interact with your dd for example???

It is so hard to advise without a lot of info.

With the symptoms you have given could be many things

Evesmama Thu 24-Mar-05 22:56:46

she drags her around or ingnores her?
screamed bue murder and cried for ages the other day cos my dd wouldnt hold her hand?

Blossomhill Thu 24-Mar-05 23:08:45

Well at least she wants dd to hold her hand, that's a good sign I think

Pages Fri 25-Mar-05 11:27:36

Hi there

I would be concerned about the vacant episodes in that they could indeed be petit mal absences (epilepsy). My DS suffered from absence seizures from the age of around 3 months and it wasn't diagnosed until he was 9 months because they can be hard to spot. He was on medication for a year, though he has now grown out of it.

Uncontrolled fits are one of the biggest caused of learning disability and though I wouldn't wish to alarm your friend, it is definitely worth getting checked out. With absences they don't fall over, collapse or appear in any way unconscious, it is just characterised by blank staring, and with my DS this was happening several times a day. We mistook it at first for daydreaming. With absences for some reason they often turn their head to the right. Also, DS slept more than most babies as the absences can make them very tired.

Absences are very common in babies and toddlers, can be 1 in 100, but they often grow out of it. An EEG will give her the answer.

beccaboo Sun 27-Mar-05 21:19:19

Evesmama, I asked a related question a couple of weeks ago, title 'what is an absence?' - sorry, bit of a dunce about inserting links here . I also saw GP at the time about it - my ds, age 3, had a one-off incident at nursery that could have been an absence/petit mal seizure. GP said it is very unlikely to be an absence if you can get child's attention during vacant episode.

If you shouted this little girl's name, or waved your hand in front of her face, do you think she would react?

Evesmama Tue 29-Mar-05 08:33:13

no, she didnt react as we were asking her if she was okay?dp even picked her up and put her on his knee and she didnt flinch??
thing is i dont even know wether she thinks something is wrong as hasnt mentioned it but she does it everytime we see her?
also she lays on the floor and pulls her legs and arms upwards and will stay like that for minutes on end..this might sound daft?? but she also going into a stare when she does this too and cannot be 'snapped' out of it???

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