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My DS 5 is SN but keeps wetting himself at school/home....is this connected?

(16 Posts)
pepsi Mon 21-Mar-05 18:42:34

DS was doing ok with daytime but since he started his new school he comes home almost every day having had a minor accident, today he had fresh trousers and pants on. He went to play at a friends after school and has come home wet from there too. Not wet enough for it to go through to his trousers but enough for the pants to be wet. This keeps on happening. Im worried enough that he will be bullied at school but this will only add more fuel to the fire. He has concentration, socialisation, eye contact, poor motor skill problems, but I wondering if he just cant help wetting himself or if he is just lazy. He tells me he forgets to go or he didnt want to leave a particular toy but I just dont know. He is not dry and night and to be honest I havent even tried yet. My dd age 2 is dry day and night no problems. Anyone had similar?

LIZS Mon 21-Mar-05 19:13:55

I was told that ds having occasional "accidents" at 5-6 , which occurred when there was a change in routine at school or an impromptu outing, could well have been linked to his motor issues. He just couldn't anticipate his needs ebcause the message to do so wasn't being interpreted correctly iyswim. Even now (he turns 7 this week) I get nervous on his behalf when he goes on playdates although it is very rare.

We did day training at 2 3/4, before we were aware of any of this, and had set backs when he changed school for example, but he did become more reliable and trained at night when he approached 4. Not aware that he has ever been bullied at school for any of his issues.

hth

pepsi Mon 21-Mar-05 19:34:09

Lizs does you ds have accidents at school now then? My ds started this school in January, but previous to that he spent 18 months at a nursery/reception in another school and never had an accident. It seems to be gradually getting worse when I thought we were ok. Is it just poor motor skills that your ds suffers with our is there anything else. I know lots of people say boys are lazier and the health visiter says not to worry until he is 7, so should I just be getting on with it. Are there loads of 5 year olds like this I wonder?

LIZS Mon 21-Mar-05 19:52:48

He is fine about it now now. Had only one accident to my knowledge this academic year but it was mainly that he was too shy to ask to be let back inside school at lunchtime so tried to hang on, but he may have the odd trickle and we not realise. I suspect many 5 yr olds do it from time to time but perhaps not on the same scale.

ds has motor skill issues, both fine and gross, with sensory processing difficulties, plus sequencing difficulties making it hard for him to break down instructions and carry out the stages of a task while keeping focussed, visual motor control and tracking problems and so on. tbh it sounds more drastic on paper than in RL as he is generally well behaved and obedient so could probably pass relatively unnoticed in life but just not able to realise his potential.

We are visiting the paediatrician next week so may get a more scientific opinion, but suspect dyspraxia. Incidentally his eye contact and social confidence are not great but these have not been specifically picked out, seeming to be more a by-product of the above.

tigi Mon 21-Mar-05 19:56:00

my 5yo is very emotional, and sensitive, and I find he goes in bouts like this. He is 'dry' but every now and again we have night and nights of wet beds, and damp pants in the day. I just think he gets stressed out (by school, and leaving me in the mornings etc), so I have never done anything about it. He is also very clumsy though....

KarenThirl Tue 22-Mar-05 06:41:23

DS is six and still occasionally 'forgets' to go to the toilet when he's engrossed in something. Poos as well sometimes. Could that be an issue with your ds? Does it happen generally or in certain circumstances?

Cosmo74 Tue 22-Mar-05 09:31:58

Pepsi - DS is also 5 and very often has accidents both at school and home and both with his wee's and poo's - he tends to leave it until the last minute before going - when I am at home with him I can tell when he needs to go and have to constantly tell him to go to loo - I too spoke to HV and she says that this could be linked to stress and not to worry too much about it until he is 6/7 - he actually started the last two weeks of wetting the bed after having be dry at night for about a year - so we are back to lifting him twice a night to take him to loo and no drinks after 6pm!!! I do notice that if DS's sticker chart is not good for the day that he tends to have most accidents. I know it is hard to do but try not to worry too much - I think the calmer you are about it the less it will happen.
Is your son on an IEP?

dinosaur Tue 22-Mar-05 10:42:50

My DS1, who is five and three quarters, had similar problems when he moved up from Reception class to Yr 1 at school. He's also still not dry at night, although he is making some progress on that front. (My DS2 is dry by day and night.)

With DS1, we just kept reminding him about the loo and we asked his teacher and classroom assistant to keep reminding too - not just him, the whole class, as we didn't want him to be singled out - and he has got better - apparently he does now ask to go to the loo if he needs to during lessons - previously he would just try and "hang on" at all costs! However he still refuses to use the school loos to do a poo (he won't do one anywhere except at home) so we just nag him mercilessly to do one before he goes to school. It seems to be working in that he hasn't' had any accidents of either variety at all in the term that's just ended.

pepsi Tue 22-Mar-05 20:43:20

Had a really bad day on the wee front, he was wet when he came home from school. We had friends for tea and he went to the loo at some point but didnt make it and peed on the floor in the loo instead. He has never done this before (well not since the early days of potty training). He tried to tidy it up to by covering it in loo roll. Since he started his new school in January he has also started biting his nails and chewing lots of things. His teacher mentioned this to me today, she says he chews his pencils, doesnt do this at home though. He is on an IEP at the moment.

LIZS Tue 22-Mar-05 21:04:10

ds chews pencils and his clothing around the neck if he feels awkward or uncomfortable. He had a pencil with a special grip to use in class and I was shocked at the state of it. His OT has identified sensory issues and doesn't seem surprised or concerned that he does it for comfort.

Kittypickle Tue 22-Mar-05 21:29:15

DD(6) has dyspraxia and goes through phases with this. She had quite a few accidents during reception but has been better in Year 1, though still not 100% reliable and she very often manages to miss the toilet and it goes all over the floor. Nights are fine and always have been. I discussed this with the paediatrican last summer who said not to worry about it for the moment and there has been quite an improvement since then.

pepsi Tue 22-Mar-05 21:39:10

Kittypickle - how old was you dd when dyspraxia was diagonsed. ds's last school thought he might be dyspraxic, he is just 5 and we are waiting to see an ed physch. Was it a long road before diagnosis and what do you hope for in the future. Will she be able to cope through school.

pepsi Tue 22-Mar-05 21:39:15

Kittypickle - how old was you dd when dyspraxia was diagonsed. ds's last school thought he might be dyspraxic, he is just 5 and we are waiting to see an ed physch. Was it a long road before diagnosis and what do you hope for in the future. Will she be able to cope through school.

Cosmo74 Wed 23-Mar-05 09:19:51

Oh I can relate to this also - DS chews his jumper/t-shirt sleeves also - now it is all fitting into place!!! How long does it take to get a dx? and once they dx how do they tell you to deal with this all?
Pepsi - My DS misses the loo alot too but then again so does his Dad so I try not to worry about it - I recently started a sticker chart for the loo - to encourage him to do his poo's there too and to wash his hands afterward as this is a real night mare to get him to do - it is sticking on the back of the loo door I am sure vsitors think he is a bit old for that but I am past caring what others think and am just trying to do the best for my son.

Saker Wed 23-Mar-05 09:32:04

You may be interested in this thread on the Dyscovery Centre website about dyspraxic children chewing clothes.
here .

My ds2 who is 3.5y and has no diagnosis but has a lot of dyspraxic type symptons also chews collars and tries to get his zip etc in his mouth.

There is also a thread about dyspraxic children being late to toilet train:
here . (a subject currently close to my heart as ds2 is not yet potty trained and we seem a long way off .)

Wallace Wed 23-Mar-05 21:39:45

Just glanced at the thread, not read it all. But my ds started having accidents when he had a urinary tract infection. You could ask him if it hurts when he pees?

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