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Feeling down!

(70 Posts)
sparklymieow Tue 15-Mar-05 21:13:13

Today I had a breakdown after Dd1 put toothpaste all over the bathroom. I just feel crap and don't know how much more I can take. SIL phoned me just as it all happened and I sobbed down the phone to her. Of course DH now thinks I don't want to talk to him about it all. He seems to think there is a problem with with our relationship when actually its nothing to do with that at all. I just can't handle her behaviour much longer. I feel like a crap mother and feel guilty that I have thought about foster care.

lucy5 Tue 15-Mar-05 21:15:38

dont feel guilty, you are human!

ThomCat Tue 15-Mar-05 21:17:47

Ohhh mate, so sorry to hear you feel rubbish.
You know that you're not a crap mother.

Blossomhill Tue 15-Mar-05 21:18:38

Mieow, please you sound like so many other mums with special needs that I know.
You are dealing with really hard circumstances and I know you are having problems with dd1 at the moment.
I am ashamed to say that when dd went through a stage of smearing/damaging things I actually smacked her and feel so, so bad about it. It's not something I am proud of at all but I snapped, like we all do. As much as we all love our kids it can be so frustrating when all you are doing is picking up the destruction they have left.
How is the respite referral going, any more news???
<hugs> Blossomxxx

Blossomhill Tue 15-Mar-05 21:19:23

You are not a crap mother you have 2 children with cp. Personally I think you are amazing xxx

sparklymieow Tue 15-Mar-05 21:21:29

I smacked her too, I felt so guilty. I ccan't can't take the throwing things, smearing things, hitting and stratching her siblings, hitting us, the screaming. the scieking, the list goes on and on. I feel so drained now.

Blossomhill Tue 15-Mar-05 21:22:36

I am not surprised you feel the way you do mieow, I am exhausted reading what you are dealing with.
There are so many times I wish I had a magic wand and now is one of them

Blossomhill Tue 15-Mar-05 21:23:04

What's happening about her having possible AS/ADHD?

ThomCat Tue 15-Mar-05 21:23:29

But yu're only being human babes, you're bound to feel at the end of your tehter now and then, please don't beat yourself up, we'd all feel/do the same.

sparklymieow Tue 15-Mar-05 21:23:37

She is 7th from the top of the list for respite. I want it now, before I hurt her badly, I hate myself when I snap at her, when I walk away and go and have a fag in the kitchen, Dd2 climbs the gate and starts on at me.

sparklymieow Tue 15-Mar-05 21:25:24

I am going to see the Pead in June and ask that they diagnose her. She has ADHD, I am sure!! Everyone I know says the same. She doesn't even sleep through the night and that exhursts me

ThomCat Tue 15-Mar-05 21:27:07

Listen I know you want help and know you need it but yopu wo n't hurt her badly, and you are normal and human and it's okay to loose patience and want to scream, it's okay.

sparklymieow Tue 15-Mar-05 21:27:16

it feel I go round in circles. I cope with her behaviour and then I don't, and then I feel crap, and terrible because I can't cope. I am so worried she will seriously hurt the others, and timeout doesn't work.

sparklymieow Tue 15-Mar-05 21:28:41

is it ok, really? How comes everyone else can cope, and I can't? I feel so low at the moment, a

Blossomhill Tue 15-Mar-05 21:29:40

Well if you aren't getting sleep as well no wonder u feel the way you do

ThomCat Tue 15-Mar-05 21:29:58

Who's coping, where, show me!
Right, I'm ha ving a fag, right now, want one?
(I smoke menthol btw)

Blossomhill Tue 15-Mar-05 21:30:43

Mieow as I said before you have 3 children, 2 with cp. You've got a hell of a lot on your plate and do cope. You are a great mum who is dealing with a lot and you are entitled to feel the way you do. You are only human!

sparklymieow Tue 15-Mar-05 21:33:17

I have fags here, thanks anyway Thomcat! DS makes me feel guilty about smoking all the time, but I can't give up atm, just don't have the focus or willpower.

ThomCat Tue 15-Mar-05 21:35:43

Oh bollocks to that, a girl needs a vice.

sparklymieow Tue 15-Mar-05 21:36:31

lol thomcat!!

sparklymieow Tue 15-Mar-05 21:37:58

I just feel so guilty that I have actually seriously thought about putting her in foster care, Sometimes I wish I never had had her.

ThomCat Tue 15-Mar-05 21:38:52

Well that's your frustration and desperation speaking and you need some help.

sparklymieow Tue 15-Mar-05 21:40:22

In what way, DH think I need happy pills again, I had PND after having Dd1 and was put on AD and I don't think I do all that again. Is this depression or will I feel better after a break?

misdee Tue 15-Mar-05 21:42:18

you need sleep.

and tomorrow we will take the girls out (if you're free)and we will have tea and cakes!

misdee Tue 15-Mar-05 21:42:37

think of your holiday................

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