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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

went to Dr's about feeling so down................

(24 Posts)
anniebear Mon 14-Mar-05 12:33:34

Can you believe it..

Went to the Docs today for some blood results (all fine)

Also to discuss me feeling so depressed on and off.

I ended up listening to the Dr for 20/25 mins not stop!! I couldn't belive that anybody could talk more than me!!

She went on and on about me not sleeping and I was saying "yes, that's because of my Daughter waking me up, otherwise I would sleep!" Even after I said that she mentioned sleeping pills for me...arrrrghhhhhh!!!

In the end I had to rudely butt in and say look this is how I feel, and about Ellie being so ill etc etc

I said I didn't really feel like antidepressants just yet but I maybe would try counselling

I am now on a 9 month waiting list...whoppee!!

JaysMum Mon 14-Mar-05 13:13:50

Oh anniebear have a {{{{{{hug}}}}}} from me.

Just a thought have you tried anything natural to help lift your spirits?????
Ive just started using Rescue Remedy....40% Brandy enfused with a load of other herbal bits and bobs......(would rather have it mixed with ice!!!!)....but I dont know, I jst feel a bit calmer these days!!!
Or maybe a little bit more you time....sauna, swim, spa, a walk....all lift the endorphins and help to make you feel a bit happier.

Your Dr sounds as useful as a chocholate teapot but did back memories of a visit I once had with a neuro psychologist....he was helping my hubby after his brain injury....NP started asking me about our relationship.....I then spent the whole of the session listening to him talk about his recent break up!!!!!
Never did go back to him again.....especially since he asked if I fancied going for a quick drink sometime!!!!!!!

Hope you start to feel a bit brighter.
Take care.

KarenThirl Mon 14-Mar-05 14:22:34

Anniebear, remember that some doctors have difficulty in telling the difference between circumstancial and clinical depression - they just see tears and reach for the prescription pad. The latter needs drugs, the former would benefit from a good night out (or whatever takes your fancy). Just because you're down doesn't necessarily mean you're depressed so you did really well to change the doc's mind about prescribing them for you. I agree with JM - find something you enjoy for yourself and build some time into your week so that you can do it. You need 'you' time away from your troubles. And Bach remedies are great, too, so try them.

Chocol8 Mon 14-Mar-05 18:56:39

I would think that alot of MNers on this board in particular need more (did I say more, sorry I meant some) ME time.

However, I read about the Bach Rescue Remedy and had to laugh...I tried this just prior to a really stressful meeting and it actually made me worse! I was shaking and panicking and flustered all at the same time! I'm obviously in the very tiny minority that it doesn't work for (just typical!), but just wanted to point that out....!

Jaysmum - that's unbelievable! Don't blame you for not returning!

anniebear Mon 14-Mar-05 19:40:03

I didn't change the Doctors mind, I went last week and was offered them without even mentioning half of what I was feeling!!

I didn't get medication although she would have given it me, I asked for counselling instead to see if that would help.

a good night out wouldn't change things, although very nice, I am quite fortunate at the moment and have some time to myself since the girls have gone to pre school.

I can be laughing with friends at the Toy Library, then be in the toilets trying to stop crying for no reason. I could go on with a list. I know I suffer from Stress and depression, maybe not on a huge scale.

TBH I am fine at the moment, just thought I would mention to her how I have felt on and off for the last 3 years.

Anyway, sorry, this wasn't meant to be about me feeling sorry for myself.

I actually just found it quite amusing how I ended up sitting listening to the Dr for 25 mins!!!!!!!!!!!! It has took me a year to pluck up the courage to go!!!

Merlot Mon 14-Mar-05 19:59:37

Jaysmum your dh's np beggars belief!

Anniebear - sorry your feeling low. I feel pretty much the same actually - one minute coping and the next minute not. 9 months to see a counsellor?

I paid privately to see one a few months back when I was actually gripped by despair, and she did help lift me enough to manage on a day by day basis, but have to say that I cant ever imagine being really happy (carefree) again . For me its become just about coping on a day to day basis, but I'm hoping that will change with time.

FWIW I think you were wise and brave to try and put your GP in the picture (its a shame it didn't quite work out!)

anniebear Mon 14-Mar-05 20:37:22

Thanks for your replies

A lot of it, and I am sure most of you with a SN child will agree, is that you can't see any light at the end of this horrible tunnel. (not all horrible!!)

A parent of an NT child may have a terrible time getting their child to sleep, but at least it should eventually even if it takes 1 month or 1 year. Another parent may complain of their child having tantrums, but they will grow out of them. the list could go on.

But for many of us, a lot of things that get us down about our SN children, we don't know when it will get better if at all.

I also know I have a lot to be grateful for,. There are many Mums out there with children with more severe problems than Ellie.

My two children are very happy and very much loved (they just don't understand why their Mum seems to have permanent PMT, lol!!!!!!!!

Sometimes it is just all to hard

sparklymieow Mon 14-Mar-05 21:04:51

I know exactly how you feel, most of the time I am fine, but then I will hit rockbottom and feel so tearful and can't see how things can possibly get better. Its annoys me reading about someone saying their 8 month old won't sleep through, what I would give for my nearly 5 year old DD to sleep through, as well as my 7 year old DS to sleep through without waking with spasms and pain. I would love to have a full nights sleep
Me and hubby are going away for the weekend in a few weeks. I have to have a break from the contant demands or it will drive me mad. I try and get out once a month, even if it just to the pictures, or the local nightclub, its so nice to feel normal and not "x and X mum " all the time. I am lucky I have DH at home with me and he helps out.
I do feel "depressed" at times but its not full on depression and I can pull myself back up

heartinthecountry Mon 14-Mar-05 21:05:37

I know where you are coming from anniebear and merlot. I've been finding things hard myself the last few weeks especially (is it the weather or something?!).

About a month or so back I thought I had really come to terms with dd's condition but recently I have been struggling again. I've realised that I've come to terms with it only when things are going well - i.e when dd isn't having many seizures and is happy and learning new things. When any of those things changes or stops then I struggle with it.

I went to see a counsellor last year (NHS) but didn't find it very beneficial. Hope you have a better experience anniebear. I had to wait nearly a year in the end .

anniebear Tue 15-Mar-05 07:11:32

sparklymieow ... Hope you have a really great time away...enjoy!!

heartinthecountry... I will see about the counselling, 9 months is a long time to wait, then I think what if I get some body who hasnt a clue about what I have been through. I have been told of a place nearby that does counselling, you pay for the first time you go, then give donations after that. They are meant to be very very nice, I might give that a try.

I just wish there was more support out there. Wouldnt it have been nice to have come out of Hospital armed with info (might have been a bit much at the time but could have kept till ready) of all what you are intitled to and anybody that could have been of help.

We went into hospital with our 8month old NT child and 5 weeks later came out with a brain damaged one who screamed and screamed, It wasnt Our child, we had ours taken away. Off we went home, no suport, nothing. It was awful.

Wouldn't it also have been lovely to have follow up suport and have some body ring US to see how we are coping........we can dream!!!!

Davros Tue 15-Mar-05 07:33:52

Anniebear, I would definitely try that other local service, sounds good. I too found conselling not that useful but mildly interesting so waiting 9 months couldl be a real waste of time. Do you have contact with any other local parents or families with children with disabilities? I know MN is good but there's nothing like knowing and connecting with people in RL.
HITC, you have described it so well, the ups and downs esp depending on how they are doing at any given time. I suspected you were feeling a bit down but I was too preoccupied with my trousers to probe further (don't ask!!). I feel bad about that . The only good thing is that an "up" will come after a "down", it just doesn't feel that way at the time.

KarenThirl Tue 15-Mar-05 07:49:53

Anniebear, sorry if I misunderstood you - I'm new to MN and don't know people's histories so I apologise for taking your post the wrong way.

I agree that it would be a good idea to pursue an alternative counsellor - I saw one privately for depression several years ago and the experience was truly life-changing. It would also be useful to approach relevant agencies and see what support is available relating to your child's problems, so that you don't feel so isolated and misunderstood because of your circumstances.

Merlot Tue 15-Mar-05 07:56:04

Sparklymieow - enjoy your break!

HITC - yes, I've been wondering about the weather too

Davros - Spot on advice about an up following a down. So what's with the trousers?? LOL

Anniebear - `follow up support' It makes me so angry - it shouldn't be too much to ask should it? You know before I had my little ds2 if I had read this SN board about the lack of support, I just wouldn't have believed it! I'm sure that most people out there would presume that we are getting tons of help - the reality is such a cold wake up call

HITC your website sounds like it will really help - what a fantastic woman you are

KarenThirl Tue 15-Mar-05 08:11:45

Anniebear - I'm going to apologise again in advance for not knowing your circumstances, but I wondered if perhaps CRUSE could help? I know they focus mainly on bereavement counselling but perhaps they deal with all forms of grief therapy. It does sound as though you were never given the opportunity to 'formally' confront your loss and CRUSE's specialist support might be appropriate.

Hope I'm not overstepping the mark - I don't mean to be insensitive if that's the way it's coming across.

Davros Tue 15-Mar-05 08:46:55

Merlot, I dragged HITC up here (NW) to go to a support group meeting with me and I was very busy ironing a pair of trousers to wear when she arrived. The trousers never made it off the ironing board and my mind didn't either!!!

heartinthecountry Tue 15-Mar-05 10:35:15

Davros - don't feel bad at all - trousers aside (ooer!) there wasn't really an opportunity and anyway if I'd started on how I am feeling I probably would have blubbed which would have been terribly messy! Anyway I'll see you Monday . And you are right, there will be another 'up'.

Merlot - yep, the main reason I want to create the website is just to make it a bit easier to access information and support. I was astonished how we were just left to get on with it when we left hospital. What I would really love is for the charity to eventually have a network of volunteers who could go round and see families if they wanted... but that is a long way off.

Davros Tue 15-Mar-05 10:57:21

HITC, I think what you're doing with the website is a way of dealing with your situation and this way you are doing something for others too. I volunteered for anything and everything in about our 2nd year until it got out of hand and I had to cut down. I think its a good thing to do as giving other people advice and support helped me work out what I thought and felt and I got to know a lot of people, some now good friends. It did get out of hand and almost became a form of avoidance. Interestingly that's what DS does, does something excessively and then cuts back

heartinthecountry Tue 15-Mar-05 11:30:30

You are absolutely right Davros . The website is about providing something I think should be there and that would have helped me... hopefully will help lots of others. But it is also something I am doing for me. I feel it helps me make sense of it all and gives me a focus, and I need that right now.

Blossomhill Tue 15-Mar-05 13:16:00

<hugs> Annibear. I can honestly say I don't think I will ever properly accept my dd's sn.
I am having counselling at the carer's centre and had my first session last Friday. It did help a lot and of course I cried (which I knew I would!!) and the lady talked so much sense.
I do feel a bit better since talking to her though. Do you have a carers centrenear you? I also have reflexology, massages etc for about a fiver as they are subsidised.

anniebear Tue 15-Mar-05 17:28:44

No worries KarenThirl

Just worried you were my Doctor that I was going on about !!!!!!!! lol

anniebear Tue 15-Mar-05 17:32:17

Yes, I want to know about the trousers now!!!!!!

anniebear Tue 15-Mar-05 17:35:12

sorry, Hadnt read all the posts before asking about the trousers!!!

KarenThirl , you havent overstepped the mark, I like Mumsnet in that you always get lots of different honest veiws on things things

Davros Tue 15-Mar-05 17:36:26

The trousers take a lot of ironing because the a*se takes a lot of covering

anniebear Tue 15-Mar-05 17:39:50


Thanks, I found a number the other day for group called Parent Carers suport (I had to search for it myself of course!!)

I did ring but the Lady wasn't in, will have to ring tomorrow. I don't know exactly what they do, but one can always ask!!!

We will be leaving the SN toy library soon and also Portage has finished. Which hasnt helped. Portage was great and used to listen to me week in week out!!! (poor woman!!!)

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