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Social difficulties can a child learn them

(9 Posts)
Blossomhill Sun 13-Mar-05 22:28:22

As you all know we have no dx for dd and originally we had a language disorder dx. The SALT has said that dd's language is age appropriate in most areas now (although of course still has a disorder as you can't really out grow one). Her main sn is in the area of social/communication (although still say no asd, whatever!!!)
Anyway I was wondering if there are any cases of a child's social skills improving with age. I mean dd loves people and socialising but finds it hard due to not being able to make a conversation. She is receiving 2 SALT social groups per week so I am very grateful about that. I am also reassured that she does want to socialise but does get it wrong, although as she is so comfortable with ds who is 7, it does give me hope.
Would love to hear your stories. Thanks Blossomxxx

coppertop Sun 13-Mar-05 22:47:20

Ds1's social skills are already improving IMO. His teacher has told me that he will often ask other children if they are okay, eg if they've hurt themselves. Last week we were walking home from school when he saw a boy that he knew. The boy was by himself so ds1 asked him if he was waiting for his mum to fetch him and if he was okay. He did his best to reassure the other boy that his mum would be along soon. I was shocked by this. A year ago ds1 probably wouldn't have even noticed that the boy was there, never mind asked him how he was etc.

He still needs help with learning things like turn-taking and sharing but he's definitely making progress.

Blossomhill Sun 13-Mar-05 22:48:58

Wow Coppertop that's great. Ds1 sounds as though he is making fantastic progress

newscot Mon 14-Mar-05 12:13:23

Blossomhill, my DD sounds similar to yours. She is 4.7 and we are in the middle of the assessment process though we know she has difficulties with semantics and pragmatics. SALT has also said don't be surprised if we don't get an actual diagnosis. I believe her language skills will improve but like you worry most about her social skills and her ability to take part in meaningful conversations.

Like you I worry myself sick about how she will get on in life. On bad days I worry that as she gets older the gap will get wider. Other days I feel confident she will be OK. As semantic pragmatic language difficulties have only fairly recently been studied as a specific language disorder there are not a lot of long term case studies. I'm sure you already know all of this as you have probably looked in to this as much as possible.

I take heart from my niece (DD's cousin) who 20 years ago was diagnosed as being 'possibly slightly autistic' I know which side of the family it comes from! Anyway, my niece is now a beautiful, confident, clever, articulate honours university student who is getting married next year. Any body meeting her would never even consider that she would be on the spectrum. My sister in law said that maturity and with it the ability to understand more about how others view you, helped. She does say however that compared to her other 2 daughters she doesn't think my niece fells emotion as strongly.

I think all you can do is believe that maturity will improve your DD's social skills. To think otherwise is too soul destroying.

If anybody does know of some good social skills programs, especialliy conversational skills, I would also be keen to hear about them.

Eulalia Mon 14-Mar-05 12:31:24

I've forgotten how old your dd is Blossomtop - 5 or 6? Anyway as others have said she will be able to learn social skills as she develops her own self awareness. Even very autistic people like Temple Grandin have learned to be sociable although do find it hard to have meaningful deep social relations.

I am thinking exactly the same thing with ds - he tends to be too sociable - will touch other children or completely ignore them. He still has no idea about social language but I feel it is emerging slowly through copying others. The psychologist thinks he may finally make friends when he is a bit older and can engage in a special interest with others(probably something 'anoraky' )

That's great news on your ds coppertop

RnB Mon 14-Mar-05 12:31:51

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newscot Mon 14-Mar-05 13:20:13

RnB-thanks for the web link- youv'e made my day. Sounds exactly like the sort of thing I have been looking for. I have asked professionals how is the best way to develop my daughters social awareness and have not really got any answers. I really need some guidance and this program seems well researched and thorough.

Please let us all know how you get on.

JaysMum Mon 14-Mar-05 13:27:58

Wow RnB cetainly looks fascinating.....you lucky devil going off to Montreal

Did you send for their DVD by any chance?
RDI looks like something we may want to pursue for J....his social interaction problems are what causes him the most difficulties at the moment.

You must let us know how it goes.

Bloss....J has come on in leaps and bounds over the past year. he is now able to go into the town centre without having a major breakdown...he can play well with others but only if it is a very structured play time and he is sure of what is going to happen....how long it will happen for. I use a visual time table so he can see that after juice at 3.15pm he can play in the garden on the trampoline with B for 1 hour...then its time to come back into the house and wash hands for tea at 4.30pm....etc etc..
The structure and routine helps him feel he is in control of the situation.
If J was left to his own devises he would get "lost" in what he was doing and then he becomes frustrated and lashes out.
J is older than your little darling and if I think back to when he was her age.....I was just as worried as you are now.....things do get better.....just takes a bit longer thats all.xxxx

RnB Mon 14-Mar-05 14:01:02

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