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shit please not the sp$$$$ word again

(37 Posts)
2shoesdrippingwithblood Tue 21-Oct-08 16:54:50

ffs they are 16!!!!!
ds is at college. I really thought it was all over, the one boy who had used it a lot at secondty is now quiet as he hasn't got his big mates arround. but now there is a new boy doing it. he cam up to ds today and said "I hear your sister is a spaz"
so now ds has got into trouble for making his nose bleed.
the other boy got it to trouble, but of course the college have said " he has sn" ffs.
I am just so fed up with it, when will it end. ds is a good lad and loves his sis, he doen't deserve this.

before anyone says ds shouldn't have hit him. remember he has had years of this crap and he adores his sister and believes disabled people are equal.

TopBitch Tue 21-Oct-08 17:04:30

Maybe your ds should call the boy a spaz. Give him a taste of his own medicine.

2shoesdrippingwithblood Tue 21-Oct-08 17:08:57

oh no, that word is a big no no, I can't imagine him using it.

TopBitch Tue 21-Oct-08 17:17:31

Hmmm, well, could he try to ignore it then? I know it's hard, but it can be done. Also, by not answering to it, the issue might disappear iyswim.

Maybe you could let him meet your dd and run him over with the wheelchair.

Kids are bloody cruel, aren't they?

feelingbitbetter Tue 21-Oct-08 17:18:02

He'd have got more than a fecking bloody nose from me! It's a horrible word, isn't it? Vile, in fact. I hate it, always have. Just take heart in the fact that you have brought up a fine, compassionate, mature young man who, in a few years time, will be free of all this nasty, childish crap and will be a respected and admired. As to the other, they'll probably end up on the Jeremy Kyle show spouting more ignorant, offensive bile!
(3 private cheers from me to DS)

TopBitch Tue 21-Oct-08 17:21:36

I totally agree feeling.

needmorecoffee Tue 21-Oct-08 17:48:19

good on your ds for lamping him.

needmorecoffee Tue 21-Oct-08 17:49:15

ds2 says he would do the exat same thing if anyone dared called dd that name.

2shoesdrippingwithblood Tue 21-Oct-08 17:56:13

he is now very popular as this lad has been winding so many people up.
what annoys me as well is the colleges lack of back bone.
the college is linked to an sn college, there are loads of young people in wheelchairs there.
can't believe it wasn't taken more seriously..

oh and my ds is a man
I was anggry that he was punished and he said
"but mum I broke the rules"
oh he makes me proud,

bullet123 Tue 21-Oct-08 18:13:36

Pleased your ds stood up for his sister.

Buckets Tue 21-Oct-08 18:23:58

"the other boy got it to trouble, but of course the college have said " he has sn" ffs."

As a mum of an Asperger's child I'm a bit miffed about your attitude actually! Yes it's a horrible word and I'd be mortified if my son used it but what about the hidden disabilities that might be affecting that lad's social abilities? He might not have had a clue that spaz is a nasty term, just picked it up from the previous kid.

F*ck "he shouldn't have hit him"

He damn well should have done and deserves lots of love n hugs (in a way a 16y/o boy accepts wink) as a reward!

He sounds fabulous

angry with "he has SN" - then he of all people should know better!

I am seeing it from the view of a parent with an AS child who is very set on rules though - once she has been told you NEVER do something (like call another child that) it wouldn't occur to her to do it blush

needmorecoffee Tue 21-Oct-08 18:34:47

I have a son with Aspergers and he knows well enough not to use an offensive term. As I remind my son often, having aspergers isn't an excuse for bad behaviour.

Buckets Tue 21-Oct-08 18:46:06

Yes but what if nobody had programmed him not to use that particular word? "Here's a list of words you must never use, son."hmm Could easily be something he picked up from someone he thought was more socially adept and hadn't occurred to him to use it until he tried to make conversation with 2shoes' DS. I'm assuming this kid has just started college too - might be trying to make friends but just hasn't got a clue.

daisy5678 Tue 21-Oct-08 20:06:17

I know what you're saying, Bucket. J is very echolalic and has no social understanding. His favourite names for people at the moment are "dweeb" and "muppet" - he has no idea what they mean, he's just heard people on TV and kids at school using them.

Can still see why 2shoes's ds was angry and how upsetting it is, but I can absolutely see a kid telling J 'oh, so and so's sister is a whatever' and J saying 'your sister's a whatever', without any understanding or curiosity about what it means.

melmamof3 Tue 21-Oct-08 20:06:53

Pleased your son stuck up for his sister. My ds1 is 5, and he is always sticking up for his brother who is 3 and ASD. He always tells other kids who make a fuss that it isnt his fault, he is autismic. Bless.

Buckets Tue 21-Oct-08 20:51:19

Some ASD kids don't have supportive, consistent(ishsmile), thoughtful parents to help 'train' them either. Let's not forget that there are plenty of parents who don't have Mumsnet to help themgrin.

kettlechip Tue 21-Oct-08 21:14:15

my friend who's a single parent had an issue with a child calling her dd a bastard at school. The child had heard the word somewhere, asked her mum what it meant, taken it very literally and then thought it was acceptable to use it.

But - she was much younger, it was a genuine misunderstanding which her very embarrassed mum dealt with straightaway, and I can't think that "spaz" could ever be an acceptable word to use under any circumstances. I remember it being used when I was at primary school, and I hated it even back then.

Can understand why your ds lamped him though. The urge to protect those you love is so strong, I have to bite my tongue when people make less offensive comments about ds, never mind using the sp word.

2shoesdrippingwithblood Tue 21-Oct-08 21:28:44

no the lad was not chatting to ds, he just came up to have a dig at him.
It is not the first time he has done this, the other week, ds was talking to a new freind. they discovered that they both had disabled relatives. the boy came up to them and said the "disabled people should be put down as they are a drain on the country"
hardly sounds like a lad with sn to me.

HRHSaintMamazon Tue 21-Oct-08 21:35:28

WAY TO GO L. grin

Ds has ASD and is utterly rubbish in social situations and yes he does repeat things he has heard. but he also knows when a word is to be used in anger or as an insult..even if he doesnt know what it means.

I told him off yesterday and he called me a "fat mug"

I phases me not one bit anymore, but when we discussed it and i asked why he thought he should call me that he said that it was because thats what XX had called his teacher when he was sent out.

I dont see wht sort of Sn it is this boy has other than severe ignorance

2shoesdrippingwithblood Tue 21-Oct-08 21:41:59

i very much doubt that he has sn tbh, SN can mean pretty much anything these days, who knows he could be G&T
what ever, but at the end of the day ds shouldn't have this crap.
the good thing is ds loves college and has loads of freinds, and is enjoying the work.
also when dd is 16 and the sn college next door is suggested in th ss cost cutting dream. i will have good reason to say no way.

wannaBe Tue 21-Oct-08 21:48:33

let's not forget that 2shoes ds has had years of this. And it's crap.

And it doesn't matter whether this child has sn or not - sn is not an excuse to offend who you like when you like without consequence.

And even if he has sn the college should not be using this as a justification. They should simply say that the child is being dealt with, and he should then be disciplined.

madmouse Tue 21-Oct-08 21:51:25

I am feeling unreasonably and probably unhelpfully proud of your ds smile

Buckets Tue 21-Oct-08 21:53:22

Well fair enough, was just imagining the kid's mum coming on here starting a thread about how mortified she is by her son's behaviour and how we'd responding to her.

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