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How can I help my friend?

(7 Posts)
worriedfriend Mon 07-Mar-05 12:13:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

catgirl Mon 07-Mar-05 12:50:32

can understand your worry, but to be honest if this is her third child and she doesn't think there is anything wrong/worth worrying about, then I think you just have to be there for her if things aren't OK in 18 months time.

Jimjams Mon 07-Mar-05 12:57:45

Oh dear I agree he sounds very delayed and friend sounds as if she is in denial. However when that happens as a friend I think there is very little you can do..There is help out there but often its a struggle to get it and if friend isn't switched on she's not going to be handed it on a plate. If you push her its likely that you will be the one who gets it in the neck, so perhaps not worth it. Might be worth suggesting SALT again along the lines of "oh I saw on an internet site that sometimes you have to wait a year for SALt don't you think it might be worth putting jonnies name down in case there are astill poblems in a year" Warning though - that may go down like a lead balloon if she's really got her head in the sand.

Does ds go a nursery? Some (not all) are very good at flagging up problems and making sure assessments are carried out. Really her HV should be chasing up more.

Professiinals often seem to have 3 as a bit of a cut of point for speech so they may get bossier with her soon.

Jimjams Mon 07-Mar-05 12:58:59

Mind you if he carries on not developing language then by 3 and a half she won;t really be able to deny it so maybe best to not say anything until she starts to notice iyswim.

JaysMum Mon 07-Mar-05 13:28:03

I know how hard this is....my own god son is showing many traits of ASD. 2 and not walking....no speech...not pointing to things....still needs support from cushions to sit up properly.
His mother is my closest and dearest friend. She has asked me before if I think he is OK.I cant reply with my honest opinion....I value my friendship with her too much to risk losing it by saying " Yes I think he is delayed in all areas" which are my honest thoughts.
I have decided that I have to let her find out herself and I know the HV will pick up on things at his next check up.....the problems are so obvious.
I am prepared to be the shoulder to cry on....she has been for me and I think this is the only way I can really help her.
Good luck.

coppertop Mon 07-Mar-05 13:33:22

I agree that staff at a nursery or pre-school are likely to pick up on this and may be able to help. It's very difficult to tell someone that you think their child might have a problem. Some parents will feel relieved (as I did) but others may not welcome the news.

worriedfriend Mon 07-Mar-05 15:09:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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