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Does anyone else have days when they just can't be arsed?

(18 Posts)
feelingbitbetter Thu 16-Oct-08 12:17:28

Not in a 'it's all too much' way, but more of a 'we've been really busy and I just want a rest' way.

Since DS was born in June we've had a hell of a time. OVer the last 6 weeks or so has come some real acceptance of the situation. The last 2-3weeks especially, has been endless hospital appointments and this week is our first appointment free week ever. It's been lovely. But, as soon as I have spare time people want to visit or for me to visit them, which I really appreciate, but they don't seem to realise we have other things to do. Today we have to visit his prospective nursery and I have to go to work to keep them up to date. DS needs his meds and his physio doing and I just can't be arsed with anything. I just want one day of just me & him, cuddled up on the sofa watching telly and playing (and meds obviously). No sorting stuff out, no housework, no visitors and blush no physio shock. Am I being crap? Give me a goood kick up the arse if I am! Does anyone else feel like this? I know it is selfish and self indulgent, but I just want to enjoy one day where his condition doesn't matter and he is just my beautiful boy.

Seuss Thu 16-Oct-08 12:27:22

Not crap at all poppet! I really look forward to school hols because we have at least one morning where we all where pjs till lunch time, eat what we want when we want, don't see anyone unless we want to and generally trash the house!grin You need these days now and again to realise why you love being a family. Stuff everyone else for a day!

Seuss Thu 16-Oct-08 12:27:53

oops wear pjs not where pjs...

Thomcat Thu 16-Oct-08 12:33:20

You absolutely must have days days like that becasue his condition shouldn't matter all day every day, it doesn't mater all day every day, and he is just your beautiful boy.

I had weekly physio, OT and SALT with DD1 when she was little. They'd all have their set exercises they wanted me to do with her each week and the following week when I;d go back they'd ask 'how did you get on with X, Y & Z' and now and then my reply would be 'I didn't do them, I was too busy just being her mum'.

I'd find I'd actually done some of the stuff they wanted us to do by just being her mum and playing with her in my own way anyway.

His therapy is important sure, but never, evr more important that you being his mum and he being your son. Don't ever let therapy exercises, sessions, appointments, forms et ctec stand in the way of that.

TC x smile

dustystar Thu 16-Oct-08 12:34:42

You are definitely not being crapsmile Everyone needs quiet days like that

feelingbitbetter Thu 16-Oct-08 12:48:51

The sad thing is, his physio is not at all a taxing job, I have made into a game so that he enjoys it (except tummy time, I'll never convince him that's a good idea smile) so I feel like I'm depriving him of something he likes coz I don't want to do it sad

Thomcat Thu 16-Oct-08 13:52:45

Spending time with mummy chilling at home is not depriving him of anything. It's a phsio appointtment, not swimming with dolphins and a trip to Disney World! He doesn't mind and nor should you. Give yourself a break. There's no point not going and then spending the time feeling guilty and sad, just make the deciison to not go, feel comfortable that that is your right and no harm will come of not going and enjoy being at home with him instead. smile

feelingbitbetter Thu 16-Oct-08 13:54:41

I am getting a good vibe from you Thomcat smile Thanks x

Thomcat Thu 16-Oct-08 13:58:02

That's nice.

Have a lovley day. The sun is shining here, hope it shines on you.

TC x

Romy7 Thu 16-Oct-08 14:43:33

i know people who plan weeks off. every time someone hassles them for an appointment that week, or sends them a letter telling them to be there, they just say sweetly, no, i'm afraid we can't make it.
it's a really important stage in the process whn you feel capable of taking control of the rollercoaster, rather than having it dictate to you what happens in your life. yes, you need to attend all this stuff and give your ds the best possible start, but he also needs to know you are his mummy and to experience normal family life...
so, start with a day, but keep that thought of a week in the back of your head.

Howlingbellyofbeelzebub Thu 16-Oct-08 15:18:14

I totally agree with the others, time off is essential for you both. For me it was breastfeeding dd, I was constantly getting hassled about it as she got older than a fee months but for me it was a time where we snuggled into bed and were just a normal mum and baby. She was really good at breastfeeding as well which was cool because in that area she was on a even footing with other kids rather than always being different or less able. My dd wears splints on her legs and whilst I know why she wears them and what good they are doing we still have the odd day off where we hang out at home and don't put them on and just 'be' for the day. Hang in there, you sound like a lovely mummy.

melmamof3 Thu 16-Oct-08 16:09:54

Most definately. I have days like that all the time (at least once a week). I think when you have more than one child, it is a necessity!

You should have days off, just being a mam, and enjoying your son.

madmouse Thu 16-Oct-08 17:13:06

you are very normal, at least as normal as i am that is grin, can you create a day off?

feelingbitbetter Thu 16-Oct-08 17:44:16

Oh yes, I can easily create a day off, have one tomorrow in fact (well, if you don't count the man coming to clean the biohazard that is my oven grin) I just feel guilty for feeling I need a day off when really, my life just isn't that hard (at the moment) compared to others, and me having a day off means (in my mind, I know) me depriving DS of stuff, whether it's his physio (not life or death for one day) or me sorting stuff for his future.

Though I am very encouraged that lots of you feel the same. smile

mumgoingcrazy Thu 16-Oct-08 20:21:24

I can totally see where you are coming from, my DD2 has weekly physio/SALT/OT/Portage and they all set me "daily" tasks to do and it just blows my mind. On top of that is constant appointments and tests etc. You are most definately not alone, I regularly feel I cannot be arsed and would love to not feel guilty about popping to the shops or do something that is not 'therapy'. I think you hit the nail on the head with it's not life or death if you miss one day.

madmouse Thu 16-Oct-08 21:44:18

your little gabe also needs time just to hang out and be a baby. Nathan is a few months older but he really needs time to chill out. If we have a day at home he naps more, cuddles more, plays more, lies on his mat and watches telly. He even loves sitting in his bumbo outside watching cars go by while I scrape moss from between the stones on the drive (very therapeutic job grin).

one some days that is more important than phyio and stuff. Obviouly there's always meds (I don't miss them - they are dictators in their own right) and I always do stretches, but some days we do not do the left side lying, reaching up, making big arms and everything else we should do.

how is your little man getting on? I am very excited as Nathan is starting to sit and even sit and play, suddenly since Monday. He is 8.5 months,s o not even that late! And he would be pulling himself up if that right rm was not so weak!

glad you are no longer (or not at the moment) feelingbitter. was a bit worried about you!

Kazann Thu 16-Oct-08 23:42:34

Bless you, it sounds like you have had alot on your plate and not had much time to really enjoy some precious time with your baby. everybody needs chill out time.

Not selfish at all you go for it and enjoy every minute of it.

feelingbitbetter Fri 17-Oct-08 09:54:14

Hey Madmouse, Glad to hear Nathan's doing so well. Gabe is great at the moment, trying desperately hard to be mobile and getting a bit frustrated sometimes. He doesn't like lying down much now, or napping (Grrr) likes to be sat up or standing (mostly jumping on Mums belly). His sitting is soooo much improved that we have ordered him a little chair with a tray in front to try and help him play. Like Nathan, he favours his left side tho his right side is quite strong, but when we put him to play in his playgym, he hardly uses his right arm to play, he uses it to prop himself to make his left hand go further! Hopefully, sitting posture will free up both hands and he'll use them more equally. We've been working hard with his physio excercises to try and help him roll over. He's not quite there yet, but he is improving. He's finding his own way to get about tho' shuffling up his cot on his back. His legs are very strong and equal. We've had to get him some sleeping bags now as he keeps kicking off his bedsheets, and even when I wedge him in, he can shimmy himself out of them. Nightmare now it's getting a bit cold! Perhaps if he can sit OK in his new chair, I'll take a leaf out of your book and get outside to scrub the front door and surround. Its a disgrace blush. Gabe loves being outside. I take him out every day, even if its just a short stroll to the shop, as the fresh air seems to do him the world of good.
P.S. Feeling bitter was a bit extreme, but feelingpissedoffcozwe'vegotlotsofstuffon was a bit long. Will return to vicsta soon, much easier!

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