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OMG Behaviour at school

(12 Posts)
mummy2aaron Sat 11-Oct-08 10:03:35

DS is in Y1 and his behaviour is getting steadily worse - it does this time of year. School have been mildly aupportive of his asd they like the fact he is clever. On Thursday he and another boy blocked the toilets with toilet roll and the head made him put on some marigolds and clean the toilet out (I do understand the reason for doing this). Friday he threw sweetcorn all lover at lunchtime and wouldnt clean it up - he eats lunch at school but I take him home after he has eaten and bring him back at the end of lunchtime -I arrived to hear her screaming her head off at him, apparently he is her responsibility in school and i shouldnt interfere ( I donlt agree with shouting at him). DS wasnt the only child involved in both of these incidents in fact there are 3 equally disruptive children in his class with no special needs. I feel he is being targetted because he has a special need dx. No one else goes home at lunchtime because the school can;t cope with them in fact I have offered to go in and supervise him myself but the school dont want this. I have several friends with children in ds's class and it seems he is not the worst offender. What should I do - the head isnt very approachable.

mummy2aaron Sat 11-Oct-08 17:21:21

Sorry I forgot to mention he has Autism.

AttilaTheMeerkat Sat 11-Oct-08 19:28:17

Mummy

The first question I would ask is whether or not a Statement is in place for your son. If there is no Statement I would seriously consider applying for such a document asap from the LEA.

I would also longer term look for another more understanding school. They are failing him currently and screaming at him won't help any.

The school could also treading on shaky ground if they are requesting you to bring him home at lunchtime (disability discrimination).

I would try and talk to IPSEA initially and get their advice; if you cannot get through to them speak to either the NAS (National Autistic Society) or SOS;SEN. Both are very good and have likely seen such scenarious before.

Do you get DLA (disability living allowance)?.

HTH

Attila

mummy2aaron Sat 11-Oct-08 19:50:07

thanks for replying - we applied for a statement but were turned down - school has mentioned applying again this week. he gets higher rate dla. the discrimination has been mentioned to me, we have a a lovely unit on another school the caters for autistic children but they feel he is not bad enough for that. he is up and down i can ready to give him away(not really but you know what I mean) after months of aggression and voilence and then all of a sudden he can be lovely for a few weeks then it starts all over again.

mabanana Sat 11-Oct-08 20:22:30

Get in there and start talking about discrimination - puts the fucking fear of god into them. I put my foot down about sending him home at lunchtime and they told me I was 'scaring the teachers' grin and guess what? they threw themselves into his statement and he now has 25 hours 1-1. You need to be tough and horrible and grow a really, really thick skin. Repeat after me 'I am not going to take this shit' - no repeat! grin
REFUSE to take him home. BAN them from shouting at them. Say, 'would you shout at a blind child who bumped into things?' and 'would you force a child who uses a wheelchair to go up the stairs?' force them to face their discrimination. If you force them to take responsibility for your son in school hours and they cannot cope, then I can promise you they will push hard for that statement. If you want help, cat me and I will help you.

AttilaTheMeerkat Sat 11-Oct-08 21:45:00

You receive higher rate DLA and got turned down for a statement?. When did that happen?.

You must reapply for the statement yourselves; do not let school do this as in the event the LEA decline they cannot appeal. It needs therefore to come from you as you can appeal. Also you as parents have far more power than school would ever have when it comes to the whole statementing minefield.

mummy - you have been fobbed off by that school to do and now they're treading on shaky ground by asking you to take your DS home for part of the lunch hour.

Do speak to the organsiation I've sited too - they've likely come across this type of scenario vefore and can advise. It is all too clear that school are clearly not coping currently - long term you may have to look for another more understanding school.

BTW it is also not up to school to determine that he's not "bad enough" to enter a unit at another school that caters for autistic children. I would actively now push to get him intothat hopefully better environment and for that to happen you'll need that statement. He may well need a Statement to enter such a unit.

mabanana is indeed correct - you will need to be bloody tough and develop a rhino skin. Also remember too that you are your child's best and only advocate. No-one else will or is better placed than you to advocate for him.

sarah573 Sat 11-Oct-08 21:46:52

They are not allowed to send him home at lunch time, unless they exclude him. What they are asking you to do is an informal exclusion and is unlawful.

Of course if you were happy with this then its not a problem (my DS has had numerous informal exclusions which I accepted as I considered they were in his best interest), but if you feel that he should be at school over the lunch hour then they cannot insist you take him home.

I echo what the others have said, get some advice from IPSEA so you know where you stand.

Seuss Sat 11-Oct-08 21:54:19

We were in a similar situation to you a couple of years ago. I had to take ds home every lunch time which just aggravated a lot of his social problems because he wasn't getting to play with the others, he wasn't burning off excess energy and it just basically added to his exclusion which made him more and more frustrated. Mabanana is right, you have to get tough and not care what anyone thinks - Rhino skin - lol. My ds ended up moving to a special school but mainly because he got more and more excluded.

It seems doubly unfair that he is in trouble when he isn't even the only one involved!

mummy2aaron Sun 12-Oct-08 12:59:32

thanks everyone- i will take a deep breath and demand an appointment tomorrow. whenever things are discussed it;s aquick this is what he has done right i ha ve to go and i am unhappy ove rthe level of supervision when they know if he is left he will do something. i will comeback and let you know how i get on.thanks again

Seuss Mon 13-Oct-08 09:37:26

Keep us posted!

Seuss Mon 13-Oct-08 09:37:39

And good luck

PheasantPlucker Mon 13-Oct-08 10:15:12

Good luck, I know it all seems like a constant battle, but go ahead with this, and reapply for the statement too. x

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