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Okey doke- it starts today- tell me how to go about getting DS3 out of that godforsaken school- rant alert

(15 Posts)
Peachy Tue 07-Oct-08 09:31:24

Coz I don't think he's safe there.

Up until now, he has ahd 16 hours from a lovely lady delivered in the mornings. After lunch he ahd access to a Nursery Nurse so I thought, she always brought him out with the other (far milder) statemented girl at the end of the day.

Seems girls Mum (rightly) has kicked off as her daughter has ben sharing her statemented hours with DS3.

Every other class at the chool has a nursery nurse except this one which has the 1-1's. Now forgive me for being blunt but its fecking obvious theya re doubling up.

yesterday DS3 came out wearing someone elses trpusers, with no 1-1, in the pouring ran carrying his cost; his lunch uneaten as the lady was checking before as he won't eat unless pushed.

I only know this becuase I pushed his 1-1 into telline me. DS3 cannot tell me, so i have no way of knowing- just like I didn't kjnow he was exposing hmself in school either. Taht's the sort of thing that I feel places him very at risk.

Now, at his last review we asked for a local unit; the Paed backed us and she has miuted that they told us it was closing (I know there are spaces, the chool was very keen to take him- indeed 2 were, both had places).

It turns out that was a blatant lie; Paed has heard no more of it, we have searched internet and council minutes and spoken to the aprents of school students: nada. I am bloody furious (pardon the language but...)
that she had the audacity to lie to me.

DS3's review is overdue (teacher, the SENCO who we have endless issues with, has now been promoted t deputy head and hasn't got tme to arrange a review- mentions it to us but never actually makes the appointment).

His class teacher is lovely if your kid is NT but she told us ds1 was NT and we were imagining it; she won't speak to us directly and I get the feeling if I approach her directly things will combust rapidly as she obv. resents the usage of her nursery nurse, and we resent her pure existence on this planet at this moment (unreasonable? moi? wink)

It's patently clear he will never get any help in this damned school. I will be sad for him to lose his 1-1 but every promise of consistency ends with yet another change anyway. LAst time they promised no change for a term- within 2 weeks his 1-1 had been promoted and they'd changed his class.

He's in yr1 and after yr2 they move to a Junior school with a much better senco policy and frankly, I can't see they wold take him at all. there's a child there with what i would call mild CP who they fought not to accept, other than that ds1 and a contemporary with as; certainly obody like ds3. And you know hat? I would fear for him badly if he were mixing with 11 year olds unsupervised anyhow.

he is progressig academincally somewhat; they report he reads and draws (I ave seen evidence of neither but I suppose it could be context specific? <<cynical emoticon>>- he's never drawn ANYTHING at home, ever). He loves his numbers but has taken to following us chanting sums qute aggresively for hours on end, clearly a new and frankly pita obsession!.

Anyway- sorry neded a rant again.

Need to get through to IPSEA but struggling; will keep trying.

FioFio Tue 07-Oct-08 09:39:32

Message withdrawn

Peachy Tue 07-Oct-08 09:54:02

Still cannot get through but spoke to APed's secretary and he should see her soon, with Paed wanting to attend review- don't think she's going to be uber-impressed at being lied to either!

Might try SNAP as I know chap there hates the school and they fought and won the last case SNAP took on, so he might have a grudge...

magso Tue 07-Oct-08 10:14:57

Peachy can the NAS Advocacy in Education Service help? (0845 070 4002) It covers more the legal advice side I think.
The all or nothing of 1-1 in ms is crazy- in special it is much more mixed ( some 1-1, some lower paced 1-2or3, some whole class (2-9) - works well for ds and was part of my argument for special.
Good luck.

Peachy Tue 07-Oct-08 11:23:46

well ipsea is a no-go; redial buttob broken so gave up after 200 tries (I know its not their fault).

Technically nas not a help as ds3 lost his asd dx but is being reassessed for eith asd or pdd-nos. It's asd I am certain. The reassessmnt was due yesterday hmm but I called hospita and seemingly his notes didn't get back to the Secretary yet.

Think I am going to e-mail senco to book review asap. It seems that I should have been informed imo that he had no access to afternoon help. That would explain lots- the time he came home caked in poo (no reply to my query over that), the time he came home wearing his pe kit as well as clothes unbuttoned; the seeds of aggression we are seeing, the new obsessions...

I also know his 1-1 is being used as an nneb with upset kid / new kids / the poor little lass with cancer. I let that be before because (how many words can I get in a row beginning with be?) he was getting what I thought was informal help too.

I eed a date for review, then I need Paed on side. I knew from the start this school was wrong; I was told no chance to unit first, then talked into it with non kept promises of consistency, gult that is 1-1 would lose her job and the Head saying she waned to keep him as he was 'too cute' to lose hmm

magso Tue 07-Oct-08 11:52:31

(They helped me preDx - but I think it is SOSSEN? or IPSEA you need.)

Peachy Tue 07-Oct-08 12:38:19

Hadn't tied ss-sen.... have now rattled off an e-mail. Thanks for that.

Seuss Tue 07-Oct-08 13:02:13

You seem to be on the case - good luck. Can't think of anything you don't seem to be doing but can sympathise with the feeling that your child isn't safe. We actually found -when we were trying to get ds1 statement/special school - that focusing on the safety issue helped. For ds it was the safety of himself and others when he was upset and general security issues with the school and ds not being properly supervised. Hope you can get your ds in a unit - the school sounds a bit cluesless.

Peachy Tue 07-Oct-08 18:29:37

Actually I think I might need to back down- SOS!SEN were totally fab but I owrded my e-mail badly and managed to offend them (really it was unintentional- read completely in a way I hadt intended) sad

I think I am turning into a mad angry cow and might just bebetter off doing as I am told

dustystar Tue 07-Oct-08 18:36:41

I'm sure they would have understood that you hadn't meant offence and you were just very stressed when you wrote the email.

No advice beyond whats been given but {{{hugs}}} I thought that the school had to do a review within a certain time period.

Peachy Tue 07-Oct-08 18:39:02

Actually no- had an email back sayiing I had an attitude! I did email to apologise profusely and exlpain how I meant it to be taken- completely differently, indeed it was sorry if this isn't your area, please feel free to delete my email if it isnyt your field.

Feel really sad but clearly I need to change my attitde a bit. DH says he is worried I might have minor depression, don't think I do but tired I guess

TotalChaos Tue 07-Oct-08 18:41:55

How very odd - would have thought an "attitude" was nigh on compulsory for anyone struggling with SN children/school issues to get anywhere... seriously - person responding should have been more sensitive to the feelings of a stressed parent e-mailing, it can hardly be unusual for them to deal with people at the end of their tether with school.

I would take what your DH is saying about depression seriously - keep an eye on how you feel the next few weeks.

dustystar Tue 07-Oct-08 19:07:25

I agree with TC that they should be a bit more sensitive to the stress that parents are under when they turn to them for help. Did you get a reply to your apology email?

Depression makes me feel exhausted so your dh may have a point. He does know what he's talking about after allsmile Having said that the daily stresses of dealing with my ds at the moment leave me completely shattered and low. I've had depression before and I don't think thats whats going on tat the moment but its hard to say. For me really the only way to know is either to go back on ADs and see if they help or to wait out the really stressy time and see if I start feeling better once things get more stable.

Seuss Tue 07-Oct-08 19:41:56

I don't think you need to change your attitude at all. When I read your posts earlier I was really impressed with how you were taking control of the situation. Just because you accidentally worded an e-mail wrong (under extreme stress!) don't go thinking you need to change - you need to have a bit of an attitude to battle through sn stuff! Go girl!

Peachy Tue 07-Oct-08 21:12:06

#O Dusty- I hope you find you feel better, whether on ad's or no.

I did get a reply- all sorted now. They were extremely useful- fab ideas.

I am v tired- baby astill not sleeping, and been having screaming fits and I know dh and I both have a bit of us saying oh no nnot again- but am hoping (with some eason) its just food intolerances and he's seeing a cranial osteo saturday. Probably panicking, which I knew would happen from time to time.

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