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Heard a brilliant speaker on SN behaviour issues today

(11 Posts)
Christie Mon 06-Oct-08 21:26:22

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FioFio Tue 07-Oct-08 09:27:43

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Tclanger Tue 07-Oct-08 09:31:19

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FioFio Tue 07-Oct-08 09:37:50

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Tclanger Tue 07-Oct-08 10:05:31

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jimjamshaslefttheyurt Tue 07-Oct-08 10:15:07

We have turned around ds1's behaviour in the last week. On friday night he kicked me in the kneecap hard enough to make me fall, left me with a bruise from pinching that is now about 3 inches square on my arm (if that makes sense- it's a good portion of my arm), spat repeatedly and hit and thumped me.

At 6pm on Friday I spoke to the person who is doing the literacy stuff with us. She also runs a behaviour clinic - even during the literacy she has a big emphasis on behaviour. Anyway she told me who she would do - and it has worked. I haven't been hit or kicked since, the spitting has gone and ds1 has been pretty calm. I've said elsehwere but I took him shoe shopping (alone) on Sunday. He didn't try and run into the stock room. He waited quietly whilst I paid. He let the man measure his feet.

Completely amazing. I am mightily relieved. The bruising I was getting was getting beyond a joke (which ds1 of course thought it was - he wasn't being aggressive he just thought it was funny).

INterestingly for me he has gone to hit me a few times them stopped himself- so he is getting self control- which of course is the goal.

Tclanger Tue 07-Oct-08 10:20:15

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jimjamshaslefttheyurt Tue 07-Oct-08 12:17:08

It's like a super version of super-nanny. About being in control and the child understanding that when you say something you mean it. So for example if I say "sit on that seat" I mean that seat, not the seat next to it.

It has really worked with ds1. He's tried it on a bit - squeezing me rather than pinching to see if he could get away with it, dribbling rather than spitting but he does know now where the boundaries are (worked it out pretty quickly). And the nice thing is when he comes for a cuddle now it can carry on for quite a while as it no longer turns to being pinched, hit or bitten.

It's been a total turn around, but I had to change my way of thinking about his behaviour.

magso Tue 07-Oct-08 12:32:14

Thats good JJ!
We had to change a couple of years back from the ignoring/ not reacting/ to almost overacting of stern bristling at undesirable behaviour - and just like you ds could be visibly seen to pull his punches/pinches! Its brilliant that the interaction is there! Long may the gentle cuddles continue!

Tclanger Tue 07-Oct-08 14:08:05

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BriocheDoree Tue 07-Oct-08 18:29:18

Sounds a bit like what we do with DD. Sometimes I get odd looks from people because I use much stronger words/tone than other people might, but that's what she needs to understand!
Currently being eaten alive by DS...but that IS fairly normal for a 15 month old. It's bad enough from a baby with only 5 teeth, so I can't imagine what it's like from a 9 year old!

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